As I was confessing on Twitter yesterday, I have literally never watched the Superbowl. Not once. The only football bits I've ever seen were in high school (I hung with the band geeks but was a choirboy), comic strips (Lucy is so mean!), in movies, and in Friday Night Lights. L-O-V-E that show. It returns in April for its final season. *sniffle*
Since movie studios bleed gazillion$ worth of their future profit$ to air 30 seconds of their potential blockbusters I $hould $hare them. It's like a hydra-headed episode of Yes, No, Maybe So. I'm listing them in the order I was curious about them BEFORE I saw the spots. Things may have changed.
superhero teases and more after the jump
Cowboys & Aliens
Before the spot: Yes. After the spot: Maybe So.
Hypothetically mixing genres can be fun in a "wha the fu----woooo!. Hahaha." popcorn-muching type of way. Plus Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford bring doubled star mojo. But then, watching this it just looks Randoms & Messies and like it's maybe a sequel to WILD WILD WEST. Star mojo couldn't save that one in 1999 and nobody begged for a sequel.
The Adjustment Bureau
Before the spot: Yes. After the spot: My heart says Yes. My brain says No.
When news of this movie arrived I kept mixing it up with Hereafter and couldn't figure how sturdy/grounding Matt Damon was suddenly the go-to guy for skewed reality/supernatural. Even with four stars that appeal on their own (Matt Damon, Emily Blunt, Terence Stamp, John Slattery) this trailer doesn't "play", does it? Maybe it was delayed for reason? Also Emily Blunt has the misfortune to be playing a ballerina directly on the heels of Kunis, Ryder & Portman and that's a lot to live up to. On the bright side, Philip K Dick original source short story material is hard to sum up in 30 seconds. On the dark side again, it's also probably not easy to expand into a feature film without losing some of its unique verve.
Captain America: The First Avenger
Before the spot: Reluctant Yes. After the spot: Same...
although is watching Chris Evans go from skinny to super buff the best bit? If so you already blew your wad.
I can't say I think it's going to be "good" but I like the idea of a period-specific spin on a genre that's getting increasingly samey-samey. Anything to mix it up. Plus, costumes by Anna B. Sheppard who they always run to when they need WWII looks. It's a lucrative niche. She was SO robbed of an Oscar nomination for Inglourious Basterds. (I gave her the Bronze last year)
Thor: The 17th Avenger
Before the spot: I Woulda Said Yes, If You'd Only Cast Alexander Skarsgard
After the spot: Oh, I See. Steroids You Desired and Skar's Muscles Be Too Lean.
Why must Natalie Portman keep doing f/x movies (that aren't directed by Darren Aronofsky)? She's Natalie Boredman in them. Why does the rock that Excalibur Mjöllnir is stuck in look like it's made of styrofoam? This cost $200 million and you used a styrofoam rock?
Caveat: If this is a Bad Movie on Steroids I will totally change my answer to HellzYes. If it's only regular lousy and Chris Hemsworth is the only thing on steroids, then no thanks.
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Before the spot: For the love of Depp's legacy, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo.
After the spot: *crying*
Johnny Depp was once the most creative male actor in the world. Why did he throw it away? When Sly Stallone made a third and fourth and fifth Rocky and yet another Rambo, you could forgive on the grounds of "work with what ya got." But Depp? What a waste of a once-in-a-generation gift. What a tragic waste. He's already made me regret being such a vocal champion "BEST ACTOR FOR JOHNNY DEPP" the first time around. Also, if you're going to dump Orlando Bloom, dump him (I loved Bloom in these movies personally --a grounding old hollywood swashbuckling presence). Don't replace him with another young pretty boy.
I understand not one thing about this movie including making it as a cash grab. How on earth could Johnny Depp need more money?
P.S. There's only a part 2 if you comment on part 1. Don't make me type into the void.