8:01 Auspicious Beginnings - the sound is already out of sync on the intro!
8:02 Fixed. But Ooh the reaction shots are already rough. Anne Hathaway and Sally Field don't look so happy to be there. Jessica Chastain isn't even faking it well and she usually looks so cheerful. Or maybe I'm projecting since I'm bone tired from the Oscar Nom run up and early morning.
8:04 Sam Rubin, critic, is drooling on the IMPORTANT. FAMOUS. PEOPLE.
8:05 For some reason Henry Cavill are presenting the first award. Because when you think of Superman you always think... Best Ensemble?
Ensemble: Silver Linings Playbook
Young Actor/Actress: Quvenzhane Wallis, Beasts of the Southern Wild (who reads her speech from an iPhone which is adorable)
8:18 Some awkward banter for Famke Jannsen where she's not supposed to know what famous action movie quotes are like "I'll be back". Um.... banter isn't supposed to make the star look bad. Do you think she's annoyed that she was a Bond girl before the currrent Bond hoopla?
Jennifer, Jessica, Rebel and more after the jump
Best Actress in an Action Movie: Jennifer Lawrence, The Hunger Games. (So she's been on stage twice already. It's like the People's Choice Awards. NOT THAT I WATCHED)
Best Actor in an Action Movie: Daniel Craig, Skyfall (who pulls a Dame Judi and doesn't show). Joseph Gordon Levitt is there though grinning through his reaction shots with that impish wrinkly eyed sparkle. Such a trouper.
Best Action Movie: Skyfall
Famke Jannsen giving an award to a Bond movie less exciting than it sounds because Daniel Craig not there. No Bond Eras Collide. No opportunity to imagine Xenia Onatopp topping blonde Bond.
8:26 Lots of reaction shots of Emily Blunt who must have a good table.
8:30 Eddie Redmayne can present to me at any time
...although it's tacky that they chose him to present Supporting Actress because... you know... conflict of interest.
Best Supporting Actress: Anne Hathaway, Les Misérables who is a little bit bitchy about winning (they spelled her name wrong somewhere, forgetting the "e" -- though not on my television unless she now wants her name to be spelled Anne Hatheway)
Best Supporting Actor: Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master who is a little bit bitchy about winning in that he is not there
I wasn't expecting that one exactly!
8:41 I was about to say something unkind but I'm part of the BFCA and I didn't offer to help produce the show so I should shut up.
8:42 Emmy Rossum and that boy from Glee present Foreign Film... i don't really understand the connection but Emmy Rossum tries some French on us.
Best Foreign Film: Amour
8:44 Surprising acceptance speech by the Amour producer who is trying to say something about American critics interpreting Amour as a movie about love (um... the title helps) whereas European critics interpret it as a film about death.
8: 45 Look it's Dakota Elle Fanning being all "Hiiiiiii" to Steven Spielberg!
8:53 Oh, I was going to put a photo there. Sorry. I'll get to it bitches.
LATER: I got to it, bitches
8:54 Rebel Wilson is SO funny "Pause for standing ovation". You know who is just as funny? Emma Stone. She made this morning's Oscar nomination announcement such a delight with the 'better than Meryl Streep' joke. Oh by the way Rebel is presenting some tribute to Judd Apatow. It must be weird to get a tribute while everyone is hating on your movie. I'm sure that's what some Les Miz peeps are dealing with now. Remind me to tell you about the Les Miz luncheon I was just at (my second) soon.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OCTAVIA IS WHISPERING TO JESSICA?
9:11 Where were we? Oooh, THE HELP flashaback. Octavia and Jessica sharing girltalk
9:12 Every time they show Matthew McConaughey he looks lonely and drinking. I AM SO ANGRY HE KEEPS GETTING SNUBBED THIS YEAR. WTF. GREAT PERFORMANCES THIS YEAR. I mean it's not his fault we all hate Kate Hudson. Why punish him for past indiscretions?!
9:16 I forgot which awards they handed out. I think LOOPER won something. With a Joss Whedon Drew Goddard Cabin in the Woods shoutout. And the awards they don't show on air were divvied up between Life of Pi and Anna Karenina and some others.
9:18 Seriously that contract with CW must be so iron-clad harsh. So many low grade TV star presenters. On a movie show!
9:20 Comedy Actresss Jennifer Lawrence
OMG after tonight and the People's Choice Award, Jennifer Lawrence Over Exposure Attack. She's already picked up three awards and they haven't even gotten to Best Actress yet.
9: 22 Comedy Actor Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
The Boyfriend is all "did they just drive around LA until they found an abandoned warehouse?" OOH, Wet Hot American Summer shout out from Bradley Cooper. I was not expecting that but how wonderful. That movie is the funniest funny of funnies.
9:27 Comedy Movie Silver Linings Playbook
OMG I can't take any more of this movie! It's going to be a long looooong season. But Jacki Weaver looks a-ma-zing in blue. Let's see Silver Linings Playbook has won four awards already.
9:35 Best Director, Ben Affleck
Weird weird ororborus moment. The entire Ben Affleck thing is ALL ABOUT ANOTHER AWARDS SHOW. He starts by thanking the Academy. And everyone gives him a standing ovation. Then he tries to retract.
I would like to thank the academy -- I'm kidding, I'm kidding this is the one that counts
but the whole moment is clearly about THAT OTHER SHOW that the CCMAs are so obsessed with.
9:50 Best Actress, Jessica Chastain. She quotes Brecht. And I have to share this tweet from the always awesome Joseph Judge.
Chastain quoting Brecht on a stage that previously held such luminaries as Cory Monteith and Eva Longoria. #criticschoice
— Joseph Judge (@jdjudge) January 11, 2013
9:50 Best Actor, Daniel Day-Lewis seems really happy to be there. But then he is a semi-proficient actor.
9:56 Best Picture goes to ARGO. Matthew McConaughey presented and now we are awash in black tuxes and suits. George Clooney just patted Matthew McConaughey on the arm. And it's over. One down. Globes, SAG and Oscar still to come.
10:03 P.S. Rebel Wilson tweeted this:
P.P.S. To Recap...
Best Picture: ARGO
Best Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis, LINCOLN
Best Actress: Jessica Chastain, ZERO DARK THIRTY
Best Documentary: SEARCHING FOR SUGAR MAN
Best Original Score: John Williams, LINCOLN
Best Original Song: Adele and Paul Epworth, "Skyfall," SKYFALL
Best Director: Ben Affleck, ARGO
Best Comedy: SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK
Best Actor in a Comedy: Bradley Cooper, SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK
Best Actress in a Comedy: Jennifer Lawrence, SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK
Best Original Screenplay: Quentin Tarantino, DJANGO UNCHAINED
Best Adapted Screenplay: Tony Kushner, LINCOLN
Best Cinematography: Claudio Miranda, LIFE OF PI
Best Art Direction: Sarah Greenwood, ANNA KARENINA
Best Costume Design: Jacqueline Durran, ANNA KARENINA
Best Film Editing: William Goldenberg and Dylan Tichenor, ZERO DARK THIRTY
Best Makeup: CLOUD ATLAS
Best Visual Effects: LIFE OF PI
Best Sci-Fi or Horror Film: LOOPER
Best Animated Film: WRECK-IT RALPH
Best Supporting Actor: Philip Seymour Hoffman, THE MASTER
Best Supporting Actress: Anne Hathaway, LES MISERABLES
Best Foreign Film: AMOUR
Best Action Film: "Skyfall"
Best Actor in an Action Film: Daniel Craig, SKYFALL
Best Actress in an Action Film: Jennifer Lawrence, THE HUNGER GAMES
Best Young Actor: Quvenzhané Wallis, "Beasts of the Southern Wild"
Best Ensemble: "Silver Linings Playbook"