Yes, No, Maybe So: Nymphomaniac
Sunday, November 24, 2013 at 1:41AM
NATHANIEL R in Charlotte Gainsbourg, Jamie Bell, Lars Von Trier, Nymphomaniac, Shia Labeouf, Stellan SkarsgÄrd, Uma Thurman, Yes No Maybe So, nudity, pornography, sex scenes

I have been remiss in my Von Trier worshipping duties. He was once basically vying for Nathaniel's Favorite Working Director since I loved everything he made from 1996 through 2004. But in roughly those same years Almodóvar was peaking and Lars lost the Battle of the Auteurs. In the past nine years I have gone off Lars a little though Melancholia (2011) came thisclose to reginiting the passion. If it had only been tighter! I've tried to rewatch it a few times because I think it's a near masterpiece but the padding and wandering repetitions really undermine its potency and actively make me angry since it could have been one for the all time lists!

Which brings us to Nymphomaniac which is NOT keeping it tight as if to spite me. It's the story of a very loose woman, played by glutton for punishment Charlotte Gainsbourg (3 films with LVT now), and it's reportedly 5 hours long. (One wonders what it is that editors actually do on an LvT picture beyond lining up the scenes and calling it a day.)

So let's do a Yes No Maybe So on the very very very NSFW trailer so don't click on the "click to read more" link if nudity offends you since there will be screen captures... Okay, prudes and whores, let's do this!

YES

 

Sex is still one of the only great underexplored topics of the movies due to all the taboo busting that has only recently occurred. It'll be interesting to see how filmmakers navigate the ... uh... promiscuous terrain.  Not just Von Trier. The image with the fox makes me smile and the image with the blow job makes me wonder about prosthetics and all the did they or didn't they talk that always surrounds movies like this. And why am I wondering about i? Are filmmakers and actors lying to us about how far they did or didn't go? And why do I/we care so much? Prurient Nation! And I am a citizen.

Which is part of why I LOLed at the support group correcting Joe when she announces she's a nymphomaniac. 'sex addict' geez., woman. Have some respect for yourself!

The cast that I'm familiar with is pretty terrific from the lead on down to weirdo Udo. It's nice to see Jens Albinus (The Idiots) back with Lars. And Shanti Roney alert! It's okay not to know who he is but I thought he was pretty special in his role in Applause opposite Paprika Steen.

"Would it be alright if I showed them the whoring bed?" - can't wait to see Uma Thurman in an auteur piece again.

"That's not how it works" - can't wait to see Jamie Bell in anything again.

Charlotte Gainsbourg is a damn fine actress. And that voice! It's perfect for dialogue as prose over provocative images like this one where "Joe" apparently gets aroused by a man (Christian Slater) on a gurney... Obviously this juxtaposition is only for the trailer but it works wonders in this context.

Perhaps the only difference between me and other people is that I always demanded more from the sunset. More spectacular colors when the sun hit the horizon. Perhaps that's my only sin.

NO

What's that angry pitiable line from Thelma & Louise "in the future... when a woman's crying like that? She ain't havin' any fun!" If this movie is 5 hours of Charlotte Gainsbourg being miserable it's going to be really sex-negative and super hard to sit through.

Frankly, a lot of this looks like it's going to be just that. Misery.

I am not a fan of shifting aspect ratios during movies. Just saying. I don't care if it's a new chapter or not. There had better be an aesthetic point to be made. 

This image... 

...reminds me so much of one particular section of Madonna's "Sex" book. I hope it doesn't signal really banal fantasies. Not that all fantasies aren't banal in some way. There are too many human begins for any of them to be original. (Oh hey, Udo Kier is also in the "Sex" book so we're coming full circle with Madonna having paid the way again)

If you're going to put Jamie Bell in a sex movie can't he be doing something that turns me on instead of sadomasochism? Did I just say that out loud? Redact! Redact!

I fear this is going to be one of those movies -- like Antichrist come to think about it -- where we hear so much about it before we see it that it loses its power to shock and disturb (from familiarity) and ends up feeling kind of cheaply provocative

MAYBE SO

The trailer opens with flash cuts to an eye and a vagina followed by a molotov cocktail. That is just so hilariously on the nose.

I still find his work valuable in its provocations. Sure its enfant terrible cinema from a now 57 year old auteur but despite skirting the line with efforts like Antichrist (easily my least favorite von Trier) he rarely does provocation solely for its own sake. There's a boldness and impster joy to his vision that is hard to shrug off even when you don't click with a certain film.

The NSFW Trailer in Question

Are you a Yes, No, or Maybe So... ? and would that answer change if it wasn't 5 hours long?

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