I purposefully stayed off line so as to not have any awards spoiled for me tonight. Andy Samberg hosts. First things first, Andy Samberg's opening monologue is maybe a "D" at best but those Oscar Pistorius jokes are defiantly "F"...as is the segueway from a Michael Fassbender dick joke (in 2013 no less) to Quvenzhané Wallis. Errr. Inappropriate Segueway Inappropriate Segueway. But I love love love this faux-trailer for Bottlecap especially that "they're in f***ing everything" shout-out to two ubiquitous actors Ari Graynor and Chris Messina who can ubiquit all over me whenever they want.
Seriously, I ♥ them so much.
Public Service Announcement: Ari Graynor will soon be on TV weekly in the Cameron Diaz role in Bad Teacher and Chris Messina is available (all of him) in the romantic drama 28 Hotel Rooms which is out on DVD right now. I'll try to write something about that one soon.
BEST FIRST SCREENPLAY Safety Not Guaranteed
Apparently that speech went on for 5 1/2 minutes because they actually did a "5 minutes later" cut.
BEST FIRST FEATURE The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Big screams from that table... FWIW Fill the Void from Israel, an Oscar submission that didn't make the cut was up for both of those awards and I really wanna see. Come to me movie. Fill my void.
Matthew McConaughey is on stage introducing Bernie and he's still looking very too thin from The Dallas Buyers' Club. Then he wins...
I had to take my pants off to win a trophy ♫
I had to drop my drawers to win an award
(hot damn fuck yeah man dot com)
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR Matthew McConaughey for Magic Mike
Who is also my Gold Medalist this year
This whole category was stacked with great turns (can we all just stop for a minute to appreciate how good Michael Peña is in everything). Matthew starts his speech by singing about taking his clothes off. And tells a funny story about a discussion with the costume designer about 'what would Dallas wear to work out? Their ephiphany was.
It's a mix between Baryshnikov and Richard Simmons. We're off!"
BEST INTERNATIONAL FILM Amour
Ellen Page looks completely bored out of her skull to be announcing this award. Michael Haneke "Zanks you very much for awarding to me"
Chris Tucker introduces shouts about Silver Linings Playbook. The team looks very nervous. (Did the BAFTA Best Actress loss shake them up that much?)
JOHN CASSAVETTES AWARD (BEST FEATURE UNDER $500,000) Middle of Nowhere
And given the category specificity, let's just say that Middle of Nowhere looks closer to a $5 million dollar movie. Such great cinematography. So happy that this fine film won enough awards attention this year to catch my attention (I nominated it for screenplay and supporting actress). This is when awards are at their best, when they double as advocacy and bring bigger audiences to movies they might have otherwise missed. I hope I have convinced some readers to seek out this movie which made my top ten list and which I almost made the mistake of skipping.
Emayatzi, Lorraine and David cheer their writer/director on for "Middle of Nowhere"
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS Helen Hunt for The Sessions
Sweet speech about 'how did this movie about healthy sexuality even get made?!' That's a good question really. Sex positive movies are so rare.
BEST SCREENPLAY David O. Russell for Silver Linings Playbook
Jeremy Renner and Salma Hayek pass out checks from Film Independent to the makers of Gimme the Loot, The Waiting Room and Breakfast With Curtis. Jeremy makes a joke about spending a hot weekend with Salma. As if!
BEST DIRECTOR David O. Russell for Silver Linings Playbook
What is this song they keep playing when he wins. I hate it. He makes a weird statement about Benh Zeitlin. 'He's a young man. He'll be back' I always find it so awkward when acceptance speeches single out only one of their competitors.
BEST ACTRESS Jennifer Lawrence for Silving Linings Playbook
BEST ACTOR John Hawkes for The Sessions
Awww, a couples set. I thought it was going to be the Silver Linings couple instead.
BEST PICTURE Silver Linings Playbook
The producer tells us that David O. Russell is "a brilliant filmmaker without peer". Holy Overstatement!
If it's true that winning big at the Spirit Awards dooms with you Oscar, then Playbook is now toast. But I don't think that's true necessarily. Sunday night will be a nail biter. I probably should've guessed Russell for Best Director over Spielberg in my final predictions.
On a final note, I do not like this "tape delayed" broadcast of the Spirit Awards AT ALL. I've just realized after it ended that they cut out all the non-marquee prizes like cinematography and such. Boo. Plus part of the joy of the Spirit Awards is when people really throw caution to the wind in their acceptance speeches -- remember when Ally Sheedy wouldn't leave the stage for High Art? But they cut out that Safety Not Guaranteed guy's speech and then escorted him off the stage. It ends up feeling as lamely generic as the BAFTAs which are also pruned of personality on their way to broadcast.
Bring on the live & lengthy Oscars!