We're celebrating the cinematic year of 1984 this month. Here's Chris Feil on Romancing the Stone...
One of 1984's biggest hits was Romancing the Stone, a quippy twist on a harlequin romance dressed up as a jungle adventure. The film was the first big box office success for director Robert Zemeckis, though he only ever fleetingly matched Stone's glee for the sexy - it's almost odd that this film comes from a director who's film are often mostly crotchless.
But more importantly, Stone gifted us with the first cinematic gold pairing of Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas. The duo is perfectly matched for their complimentary wits and evident sex appeal, resulting in both sequel The Jewel of the Nile and The War of the Rose before the decade's end. They may have had more overt steaminess elsewhere (see: Body Heat and Fatal Attraction, et al.), but even this film's PG rating can't contain their fireworks together.
The blend of grand adventure, slapstick humor, and loin-grabbing passion begs the question "Why does sex at the movies always have to be so damn serious?" So in honor of the Stone's hot fun:
TEN OF THE SEXIEST MOMENTS...
The Behind-the-Scenes Production Stills - If original viewers went in expecting Lady Chatterley's Lover In The Jungle just from this promo photo shoot, could you blame them? Give that image a randy title and slap Joan Wilder's name on it and it's totally a bestseller you're embarrassed to read after your mother's recommendation.
Kathleen Turner attempting Spanish pronunciations - Loyal readers will be well-acquainted to the soft purr of the actress's distinct vocal quality, but every time she mentions Colombian locales or attempts the language is a unique caress of the inner ear. The 200 times she says "Cartegena" is a performance in itself.
Smooth 80s Jazz Still Does the Trick - Nothing says "You want to have sex right now" quite like a saxophone in the 80s and Alan Silvestri's score doesn't disappoint on that front.
This Moment - Being completely soaked and covered in mud might be worth it to have Michael Douglas between your legs. In fac...
Michael Douglas Has Never Been Funnier - The film has him at the peak of his 80s eye candy smoothness, but something about how he tickles the funny bone here adds to the swoon-worthy factor.
That Harlequin Romance Prologue - The film itself may be only a wink at harlequin romance, but the opening embodies exactly what we love about the trash lit genre: girl power revenge, ample boobage, and a mysterious sex man waiting on a horse. It's just lurid enough to push that PG rating and intrigue our baser instincts while establishing the film's giddy wit.
No One Knows How Buttons Work - In Columbia, apparently everyone's shirts just can't be tamed and almost everyone (including Joan) welcomes a breeze to the upper body. The only reason we get so little barechested Michael Douglas is because he spends much of the movie in a crew neck t-shirt, but he makes up for it with...
A Dance Sequence - A Columbian dance festival as a first date that leads to inevitable bootknocking? Sign me up!
She Doesn't Need Rescued - Douglas's Jack Colton may return at exactly the right climactic moment, but Turner's Joan dispatches of the bad guy all by herself, proving to not be your hapless damsel in distress. Take the reminder, Hollywood: sexy and strong are not mutually exclusive.
... But He Does Whisk Her Away on A Boat - Even if the silly ending is a touch too fairy-taled, the fantasy makes for delicious candy - just like the heightened romances the film riffs upon.
What part of Romancing the Stone do you find sexiest?