by Eric Blume
The good news is the bad news: director Kenneth Branagh’s new adaptation of Agatha Christie’s Murder on the Orient Express is exactly what you think it will be. It’s a stylish, corny, enjoyable two hours filled with movie stars and that absurd moustache. It delivers on romantic glamor and old-school moviemaking, but there’s not a surprise to be had.
Out of the gate, Branagh plunges us into a prologue that’s both boring and obvious. He means to establish Hercule Poirot’s philosophy and fastidious nature, which sadly serves only as clunky groundwork which you know will circle back by the finale (which it does). He also tries to bring some levity to the piece with a few lame jokes. At first Branagh seems to be overplaying his hand...
After this stumble, however, Branagh composes some elegant shots leading up to the boarding of the train and the reveal of his large cast of lovelies. He doesn’t miss his chance to please the audience with heaping spoonfuls of movie stars; as they slowly materialize, the film is a series of hokey pleasures. Who doesn’t want to see a long tracking shot where Michelle Pfeiffer, Penelope Cruz, Judi Dench, Willem Dafoe, and numerous other beautifully-boned stars appear all in the same room? Branagh tracks several of these moments, and each one scores, because he’s aware that the chief joy of the movie lays in seeing them all together.
Sadly none of the stars have anything particularly interesting or extended to play, except maybe Pfeiffer, who finds smart comedy in her first stretch and what small dimension she can in the last. But cinematographer Haris Zambarloukos lights everyone with an enchanting glow, and all the actors seem to be having fun.
Once Branagh gets settled into the old-fashioned style, the film relaxes and cruises uninterestingly but pleasantly through to its Last Supper-like denouement. There’s not much to complain about with this movie, but not much to get excited about, either. It’s a C+ movie you'd happily mistake for a B if you watched it on an airplane.
Have you seen the picture yet? Thoughts?