Though it's 240 days until Thor: Ragnarok is in theaters, the heavy promo starts now. EW's new cover features Chris Hemsworth, sans long light blonde Thor wig and thus looking far less Scandinavian (sigh) and his two female co-stars. Thoughts that came to me as they came to me without stopping to edit are after the jump...
• Is Thor Ragnarok going to be as colorful as this cover implies -- going against the trend in superhero movies which are trying to be SERIOUS AND IMPORTANT by draining themselves of color (DC movies) or just picking one (Logan) -- or is this merely some internet at EW having fun with the fill function in Photoshop on the text?
• Losing the hair was bad enough (Hemsworth doesn't look like Thor at all now!) but no hammer either? What the hell, Taika
• No offense, Taika Waititi. I'm absolutely sure you're going to make the very best Thor movie both because the bar is so hilariously low (seriously those movies suck). But Thor's hair and his hammer were not remotely the problems with those movies, so good luck!
• Great move, EW with that double-take in text form
"Yes, that's Cate Blanchett!"
• I probably don't need to remind you what happened last time Cate Blanchett got black hair to play a villain role. These are not happy memories.
• But that said, it's quite fun that the Hair and Makeup team on Ragnarok used up all the "smoky eye" budget on the wrong side of her eyeballs.
• Sometimes when I see photos of Cate Blanchett from any movie now my first thought is "What would Carol Aird think of this?" if it's not "What would Jasmine think of this?" And in both cases it's almost never pleasant -- seriously that woman...er those women... be hard to please!
• Black finger nail polish is so 1990s. It's also so Goth and so literal for a character named "Hela, Goddess of Death"
• Tessa Thompson is so gorgeous. That is all.
• I was going to say something about those funky decorative things on her face but promptly forgot what they reminded me -- oh wait, was it butterfly bandages? I dont know. Anyway, I like 'em.
• I am going to be so disappointed if we don't get Valkyrie on her winged horse... well, actually no, the Thor movies can't disappoint because they come with no expectations being the most disposable of Marvel Studios movies.
• Did you understand what they were trying to do with her character on Westworld? I did not.
• No.
• I can't tell if we're dealing with reflective costumes or if Thor's armor has some kind of paint splatter effect? Anyway the costumes this time are by Mayes C Rubeo, a Mexican designer who previously costumed Avatar, John Carter, World War Z, and Warcraft, and so she knows from big spectacle movies.
• Also where is the Hulk?
• [SPOILERS] Apparently the plot results from a prison break* for Hela and Hela ends up banishing Thor to a different planet where he reunites with Hulk who is the top gladiator in that world. Presumably after beating each other to a pulp in expensive CGI kind of ways, they will then patch things up and get back to Asgard to deal with Hela? [/SPOILERS]
• *Prison breaks from eternal captivity are common in genre fare right? Superman II, Man of Steel, That movie where Julianne Moore is the dragon with stupid red hair. I'm sure there are others but those three popped immediately to mind.