by Chris Feil
Brr it’s cold in here!
There must be some Toros Clovers drag queens
In the atmosphere!
Sorry, what with this week’s cheerleader-themed episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race, I’ve got Bring It On on the brain! Last week’s premiere was Gaga-fied (and queen-lite) but this week was back to basics: a group challenge, runway, backstories, shade, and elimination. Honestly these first two episodes would be way more satisfying as one supersized episode - even this one follows the show's successful formula, but we're going to need a major uptick in energy as the season progresses.
Oh right, and that little cliffhanger of a returning queen...
The episode immediately revealed that the queen back in the competition is season eight contestant Cynthia Lee Fontaine. I hope you’re ready to see even more of her cucu! You may remember that I am a member of Team Cucu Freedom, but this return isn’t necessarily one I stand by. As the winner of last season’s Miss Congeniality, the fact that she’s already received a cash prize makes this return slightly more unfair. This isn’t like Shangela returning in season 3 after being the first eliminated from season 2.
And once she’s there, the show thankfully still gives the floor to the new queens we didn’t get to know well enough in the first episode. We do get to spend some time in the workroom learning more about Cynthia’s post-season cancer struggle. She’s in remission and stronger than ever in the competition - but I don’t think we’ll have a good idea how she fits into the competition until next episode when the shock of her return has cooled down.
OMG Lisa Kudrow! No, Wait, Come Back! - In a complete opposite of what we saw last week with Gaga, Lisa Kudrow pops in to quote The Comeback and leave - seriously her screen time was less than a commercial break. Strange, but we’ll take Kudrow any way we can.
Where was the mini-challenge for this episode? There’s a growing number of episodes where they’ve disposed of them, so let’s hope they’re not gone entirely or we’d be losing some of the show’s hilarity. More time for the queens to shine, not less!
The queens were split off into teams (led by Cucu and last week’s winner Nina Bo’nina Brown) for their cheerleading routine extravaganza. Nina’s team had a higher degree of drama with the Nina-decreed “underdog” Jaymes Mansfield stumbling over multiple roles much to Alexis Michelle’s consternation. Methinks poor Jaymes is simply not used to working in a group setting.
I think I’ve finally unclenched from watching the queens learn their cheer routines. Previous season have asked the queens to learn some cheesy choreo in not enough time, but now that the show becomes more mainstream they are just going to fully launch these girls into the air with no experience. Charisma Uniqueness Nerve Talent and Not Breaking Your Damn Neck, I guess. Glad you’re not afraid of heights, Farrah Moan, because your tiny ass was always going to be the top of that pyramid.
The girls got through it unscathed so maybe this was the challenge to not send someone home. (I’ll stop complaining about the premiere, I swear.) The White Party runway however was strong all around, save for Kimora Blac’s shreaded nautical get up. Land Ho, indeed!
Best Runway - Valentina. Shea Couleé 60s space age and Cynthia’s gemtastic looks were divine, by our Almodóvar-loving’s personal connection to her wedding dress shone through. She may be growing even more grating with her wide-eyed, beauty pageant way of speaking, but girl can deliver a stunning look.
Valentina took the win, while the very obvious bottom two of Jaymes and Kimora were lipsyncing for the first elimination. While I was quite excited for The B-52s to guest judge, I’d consider the iconic “Love Shack” as an abysmal choice for a lipsync song. Not only did the amount of male vocal make for an odd challenge for both queens, but what can you really do with this song that your drunk grandmother hasn’t done at three weddings?
You would think this song would however be right in Jaymes’s wheelhouse, but a lackluster lipsync sent her home. You know, I would pay money to see a Jaymes Mansfield show as I adore her style of drag - but when you’re the only one who doesn’t have their head in the game, it’s your time. At least she got to go home on her best joke: “I came in first!”
Current Ranking:
- Nina Bo'nina Brown
- Shea Couleé
- Eureka O'Hara
- Peppermint
- Sasha Velour
- Cynthia Lee Fontaine
- Trinity Taylor
- Farrah Moan
- Alexis Michelle
- Valentina
- Charlie Hides
- Aja
- Kimora Blac
- Jaymes Mansfield OUT
Gif as Episode Grade:
What are your thoughts on this week's episode?