To Entertainment Weekly the honor of introducing us, or re-introducing us rather, to the characters of Murder on the Orient Express. The Agatha Christie book was first published in 1934, got a very popular Oscar loved film adaptation forty years later and another forty-plus after that it'll be back in movie theaters again with a brand new cast.
After the jump a mega post about this cover and the adjacent character photos that came with it...
THOUGHTS I HAD WHILE STARING AT THIS...
• Michelle Pfeiffer is at the very center, as well she should be.
• I was really hoping for more color in the costumes. This looks subdued, which is maybe not the way to go with an old school nostalgia-laced mystery adventure. The costume designer Alexandra Byrne has been doing superhero pictures for a while now so maybe she felt more realism was in order? But all star pictures need GLAMOUR. That's why they exist.
• Isn't it great when magazines f*** with their format like this, printing a horizontal photo vertically? This will show how ancient I am but one time in the comic book Alpha Flight John Byrne drew everything in horizontal framing so you had to turn the comic book sideways like a flip up notebook to read it and it was thrilling to baby me who voraciously loved comic books but didn't know you could do that!
• ↖️ This bitch thought she was the star of this photo shoot didn't she?
• I wish we could see more of what that decorative backdrop looks like? From the actual set or just photoshoot props?
• The film opens on November 10th which seems like a great time for it.
• Michelle Pfeiffer is holding her glass highest as if about to toast. Whatever it is, I'll drink to that!. Welcome back, my beloved.
• Kenneth Branagh's Moustache has the leading role. His ever present companion Kenneth Branagh directs him and the other actors. I know some people think Branagh goes over the top but I'd argue that that's when he does his most entertaining work (Dead Again, anyone?)
• Every actor on this cover is looking at a different spot and none of the eyelines seem to match. One doesn't have to be Poirot to conclude that all the actors were shot separately and then combined in photoshop. This is one of the great tragedies of modern times, that they don't require actors to share a room even when they're promoting the same picture! I'd be all Mike Leigh up in that shit if I was a director. 'You either give me your full (months) of time or no role for you!'
• Penelope Cruz looks visibly worried to be sharing a movie with her Pirates co-star Johnny Depp again. Wouldn't you? The last pairing was pure junk.
• I have seen the original film when I was a little kid but never since. I don't remember it at all. Perhaps a revisit soon.
WE ALSO GET INDIVIDUAL CHARACTER IMAGES... WHICH YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WE MUST SHARE IN THE ORDER IN WHICH WE ARE EXCITED TO SEE THE PERFORMANCE. PLAY THIS GAME WITH US READERS. MAKE YOUR OWN LIST IN ORDER AND WHEN THE MOVIE COMES OUT WE'LL COMPARE WHAT WE WERE EXCITED FOR VERSUS WHO ACTUALLY EXCITED US
But before we do this list it must be acknowledged that a brownish backdrop with earth tone costuming is total snoresville for a photoshoot. WHY?
01. Michelle Pfeiffer as Caroline Hubbard - a "busybody" and "loudmouth". Yaaaas. This is not what you'd immediately expect from cagey quiet Pfeiffer and we miss her so much.
02. Olivia Colman as "Hildegarde Schmidt"- she is Dench's maid. After Tyrannosaur and The Lobster she has our full attention. Such an exciting actress and what range!
03 Dame Judi Dench as Princess Dragomiroff - Dench as a fussy royal sounds wonderful albeit in a very expected way. I'm praying for good pampered doggie scenes.
04. Penelope Cruz as "Pilar Estrevados" - We're excited to have Cruz back but as a drably dressed "missionary" type? Hmmm.
05 Leslie Odom Jr as "Dr. Arbuthnot" - True confession: I didn't think that Odom deserved the Tony for Hamilton (not that he wasn't good in it but I preferred Lin-Manuel Miranda or Danny Burstein for that win) . Regardless of that small annoyance, I'm all for stage stars -- especially those with major musical talent -- making it in the movies. The more of them that do the less excuse Hollywood will have to cast non-singers and non-dancers in movie musicals. Color me curious if his magnetism will transfer to the big screen whilst sharing scenes with movie stars. You never really know with stage stars. They are different mediums and his sidebar work on "Smash" didn't provide enough evidence.
06 Sergei Polunin as "Count Andrenyi"- A dancer turned actor. I'm unfamiliar but discovery is one of the joys of moviegoing... and one Hollywood doesn't let us have often enough with their insistence on casting major stars even in tiny roles
07 Willem Dafoe as "Gerard Hardman" - Dafoe, for all his singularity as a performer, always feels most at home in eccentric ensembles doesn't he, whether that's onstage with the Wooster group or in Wes Anderson films? High hopes.
08. Derek Jacobi as "Masterman" - Jacobi is always welcome and is playing Ratchett's butler. [ASIDE: why is it that the only "out" older male actors are all British?]
09. Kenneth Branagh as Poirot - What we said earlier though that moustache is seriously obnoxious.
10. Daisy Ridley as "Mary Debenham" - still not convinced she's more than just "get me a young Keira Knightley type!" but we'll see. She plays a "forward-thinking" governness in a relationship with the doctor.
11. Lucy Boynton as "Countess Andrenyi" - a possibly drug addicted aristocrat. She was really good in Sing Street.
12. Tom Bateman as "Bouc" - he's the flirtatious train director. A young British actor but we haven't yet seen him in anything. He's in the comedy Snatched which opens very soon.
And two more lookers we don't yet know as actors...
13. Marwen Kenzari as "Pierre Michel" - the train conductor. He's a Dutch Tunisian actor previously seen in The Loft and Ben-Hur. He's got four movies coming out this year (The Promise, The Mummy, What Happened to Monday, and this) so maybe he'll be an international star soon.
14. Manuel Garcia-Rulfo as "Biniamino Marquez" - A rising Mexican actor. Previously seen in The Magnificent Seven. He plays a Cuban car dealer
15 [tie] Johnny Depp as "Edward Ratchett" and Josh Gad as "Hector MacQueen" - They're both exhausting. On the brighter side the last two times Johnny Depp played characters named Edward, he gave two of his very best performances.
What are your thoughts on these photos and how would you rank the cast in order of your anticipation for their work?