Streaming Roulette, February: Ant-Man and the Edge of Velvet Buzzsaws
Saturday, February 2, 2019 at 5:00PM
NATHANIEL R in Amazon Prime, Ant-Man, Hulk, Hulu, Incredibles 2, John Malkovich, Mary Pickford, Netflix, Stella Maris, Velvet Buzzsaw, silent movies, streaming

As is our practice we've selected two handfuls of titles of note and frozen the films at utterly random moments without cheating (whatever comes up comes up) for this quick preview.  Do any of these screencaps make you wanna watch the movie? At the bottom of the page full listings for Netflix, Hulu, Prime, and HBO this month. Okay, let's go...

Guess what? You're my favorite student.

The Edge of Seventeen (2016) on Netflix
Remember how good this Hailee Steinfeld high school comedy was?  She was nominated for a Golden Globe even! But why has Hayden Szeto, her love interest, not busted out yet as a star? He was great, too. Turns out (just looked it up) that he's got three movies coming out this year and will also be a guest star on the TV series adaptation of Taika Waititi's What We Do in the Shadows so there's still hope that people (or in this case Hollywood) will realize how fab he is. Yay!

A whole lotta lovin' is what we'll be bringin'
We'll make you happy 🎵

Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018) on Netflix
You know what makes me happy? Paul Rudd's body in these movies... yum. This is the best kind of superhero body. Not steroided or big but good tone everywhere like he's active but not vain. Oh and the movie: Michelle Pfeiffer stars as Janet Van Dyne which is all that you really need to know. We weren't happy that she has only 7 minutes of screen time or so but at least that means we get to see her again in Avengers: Endgame since [SPOILER ALERT IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS] she's one of the heroes dusted by Thanos.

[no dialogue]

Velvet Buzzsaw (2018) on Netflix
That's Jake Gyllenhaal blurred to the right. Promise that this is what came up in the streaming roulette game. Not trying to share only photos of men in various stage of undress. P.S. We had planned to watch this the other day but the apartment's brand new big ass television is flattening everything to make it look like a ultra high-def sports game. WE HATE MOTION SMOOTHING SO MUCH. Though we've mostly found ways to turn off that feature, it's still such a  problem with Netflix titles that we've been on the line with them about trying to resolve. Even Roma looks like crap in super hi-def, flattening the ravishing Oscar-nominated beauty of that black and white cinematography and making it look like a cheap soap opera. Oh, so, lost track of the story. We opted not to watch. (Buzzsaw looks fine on my computer so I'll have to watch it there instead of on the huge TV --sigh)

Ohmygod.

Incredibles 2 (2018) on Netflix
Jack-Jack is the MVP of this movie. All of his scenes are, well, incredible. But to think this seemed like a shoo-in to win Best Animated Feature up until December. Do you think Mr Incredible and Elastigirl would take Miles Morales in a fight? They'll be in one on Oscar night. Into the Spider-Verse might not be the sure thing people think it is, though. It will probably win but voters adore Pixar (they've won 50% of the Animated Feature Oscars) and they've voted for the Pixar hit before in tight contests, so we wouldn't count Incredibles 2 out of the fight. We shall see.

-DON'T YOU TOUCH ME!!!
-Touch you? Nobody's touching you.

Flesh + Blood (1985) on Prime and Hulu
This largely forgotten medieval drama is from Dutch provocateur legend Paul Verhoeven (Elle, Showgirls, Total Recall, The Fourth Man, etc...) so expect lots of nudity and violence if you've never seen it before. Rutger Hauer and Jennifer Jason Leigh (pictured above being harassed by a mocking crowd) star.

[dialogue card] 'onest -- it broke itself, Sir."

Stella Maris (1918) on Prime
I really liked this Mary Pickford movie about a sheltered adopted girl when I first saw it ages ago on a silent kick I went on in the 1990s. Prime actually has quite a few famous silent movies this month so check out the list below. 

I had those most vivid dream. It was like being born. Light hitting my face. Screaming. My heart beat... [makes heartbeat and grunting sounds]

Hulk (2003) on HBO
Oh Bruce, genius but dumb Bruce, to quote Rosemary Woodhouse:

Remember that time before superhero movies were beloved no matter what? Ang Lee swung for the fences but most people think it was a miss. I go back and forth on this one but I haven't seen it since 2003 and maybe I was a little drunk that sold out Friday night at the movies. Twas a memorable moviegoing night is what I'm remembering. The movie itself maybe not so much. Rewatch?

-When is he coming?
-Soon. Soon. When you least expect it, he'll be at your house.

Broadway Danny Rose (1984) on Prime and Hulu
One of Woody Allen's funniest 80s comedies. It was nominated for 2 Oscars (Director and Screenplay) but Mia Farrow, in one of her showiest roles, was ignored yet again (so many great actresses were totally robbed in that infamous "farm wife" year in Best Actress. What was going on with Oscar voters in 1984?). You can see Mia and Woody at the back of the frame above waiting to talk to the psychic.

Is she beautiful? clever? rich? splendid? universally intelligent? unprecedentedly virtuous? It's only on those conditions that I care to meet her!

Portrait of a Lady (1996) on Prime and Hulu
Smarmy John Malkovich is asking about Nicole Kidman here so the answers are "Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. And who knows we don't know her personally." Even if you're not watching it for early Kidman it's a Jane Campion movie with Oscar nominations for Costumes and for Barbara Hershey as "Madame Serena Merle," the one being grilled in this scene.

Also Streaming on NETFLIX in February

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Also streaming on AMAZON PRIME in February

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Also streaming on HULU in February

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Also Streaming on HBO

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Article originally appeared on The Film Experience (http://thefilmexperience.net/).
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