by Baby Clyde
This was gonna be the big one. A day jam-packed full of the most talked about films of the festival, from some of the world’s most esteemed auteurs. So why was my favourite movie of the day a middling buddy comedy from the director of America Pie?
You'd think it would be impossible to make a light-hearted farce about the trauma of historic sexual abuse but Moving On from director Paul Weitz and starring the legendary duo of Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin gives it a good go. I’d happily watch these two in anything but to wholly succeed this probably needed a darker, harder edge instead of Grace and Frankie – The Movie which is essentially what we have here. Having said that it’s thoroughly enjoyable. That's not something I can say for the rest of my days viewing...
Before I go any further, I think it’s fair to say the films I’m about to discuss are technically ‘better’ filmmaking than Moving On but each in different ways left me completely cold and I whilst I hate to say it, bored.
First up was Toronto native Sarah Polley’s, Women Talking which was one of my most eagerly anticipated films. As a devoted actressexual this would surely be right up my strasse. Much to my surprise it was not! You certainly can’t complain about false advertising as women talking is exactly what they do in this movie for two hours straight. Eight or ten or maybe a dozen entirely interchangeable, sepia toned religious women in headscarves sit around a barn and discuss their reaction to a series of sexual assaults that have been taking place in the community.
Their two choices are either to stay and fight or to leave, but the practicalities of either of these decisions are barely explored. So little is explained about the crimes and the practicalities of their choices that it's tough to have an opinion. What does a fight entail? Where would they flee to when none of them can read or write and don’t seem to have any more idea of where they are than we do? They’ve never even seen a map!
None of this would matter so much if the discussions being had were tackling thorny moral problems but instead it’s mostly bickering back and forth, while Ben Whishaw cries every now and then. The set up reminded me very much of the great 12 Angry Men only in that classic each man has a specific personality and puts forward interesting, nuanced arguments for and against the matter at hand. The characters felt so indistinguishable here that I couldn’t tell you who was arguing for what or how they come to any final decision.I should note that my audience was certainly as enthusiastic as Matt's review right here, but I simply felt let down.
Next was Ruben Östlund’s Cannes winner Triangle of Sadness an amusing but wildly overlong satire about fashion and influencers and the super-rich... and apparently desert islands, too. The whole enterprise is so unfocused that the satire looks any punch. What is it trying to say? That said it starts strong but it all starts to go wrong an hour in after an extended bit that was funny for 5 minutes but outstays it’s welcome by a good half hour. The third chapter makes little sense at all. But there’s definitely a hilarious 90-minute film in here somewhere. I hated The Square for pretty much all the same reasons. This is an improvement, but good god can someone introduce this man to the concept of self-editing?
Last film of the night was Steven Spielberg’s The Fabelmans and my major thought was ‘What terror have you wrought upon us Alfonso Cuarón???’. Does every middle-aged to senior male director now have to inflict a ‘personal project’ about their entirely mundane childhood on us?? We get it Steve, you like making movies.
Young kid is into films, gets bullied, his parents get divorced. That’s literally it. Looks gorgeous. Great performances, but enough plot to cover a single episode of The Wonder Years dragged out for over two and a half hours. As the world most successful director he’s certainly earned the right to be as self-indulgent as he likes but as the woman I overheard walking out said too her friend ‘Was that the story of his real childhood? I’m not sure it deserved a whole movie”.
Fully aware I’m going to be in a tiny minority here but then I’m totally happy with Crash winning Best Picture so that’s a position I’m used to.
I only saw one film the next day (what a relief) so throwing that in here as well to save you from the fascinating details of me going T shirt shopping and calling my office to discuss the finer points of German reciprocal tax law.
Sad to say that my run of middling movies continued. I was very excited by the idea of Corsage Austria’s International Feature Oscar entry (which Abe just reviewed in full). There’s a never-ending supply of scandalous European royal stories to be told, as they have been since the dawn of cinema. The Empress Elizabeth of Austria’s life had so much drama in it that she’s been portrayed on film numerous times but for some reason this attempt focuses on an entirely uneventful year in which she simply mopes around in palaces, rides a lot of horses and gets her hair cut. It’s hard to fathom why this particular period was deemed worthy of a feature. For those who know nothing about her this may all work but I know her story well -- I was even at her cousin’s fairytale castle in Bavaria just last month -- so I found myself constantly questioning the choices. The weird anachronistic Tammy Wynette and Marianne Faithful cameos are fun but distracting. Warning: Another unpopular opinion alert. I don’t get Vicky Krieps. I mean she’s no Ava Gardner is she?
You've probably heard that this biopic is heavily fictionalized. The ending is particularly puzzling because it kills her off nearly two decades before her actual death The real story is far more interesting.
FILM OF THE DAY: I can’t believe it any more than you can, but I have to say Moving On. Not going to argue it’s the "best" just the most enjoyable.
OSCAR BUZZ: Everything but Moving On. Expect multiple noms across the board for the others. This could finally be Michelle Williams year. She’s great in The Fabelmans and could easily be placed in Lead. They’ll play safe to get her a win in Supporting, though. Judd Hirsch’s role in The Fabelmans is little more than an extended cameo but he’s a definite stand out and people have won for a LOT less.
STAR SPOT: I went to a party where Canadian rapper Kardinal Offishall was in the house but most excitingly for this hardcore track nerd I met 1996 Olympic 100m Champion Donovan Bailey!