The Films of 2022. The 23rd annual FiLM BiTCH Awards
PICTURE | ACTING | VISUALS | AURALS | EXTRAS | SPECIAL - you are here | SCENES
gold medal
silver medal
bronze medal
AND THE NOMINEES ARE...
(beware of spoilers on this page)
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Hero of the Year
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Bheem & Raju |
Evelyn Wang |
Jodi Kantor & Megan Towhey |
Ensign Jessie Brown (Jonathan Majors) DEVOTION |
Mrs Harris (Lesley Manville) MRS HARRIS GOES TO PARIS |
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Blessed with: Friendship, Superheroic physicality, and a righteous cause to free India from colonists. Achilles Heel: Gullible. Easily distracted.Triumph: Saving each other, they eventually become heroes of the revolution. |
Triumph: Saves the multiverse and repairs long untreated family wounds |
Blessed with: Dogged work ethic and a righteous cause, to expose Harvey Weinstein and systemic abuse in Hollywood Achilles Heel: Nobody will talk on record (at first) Triumph: Publishes the expose. Kickstaring a powerful movement for reform |
Blessed with: Resolve of character, tenacity of body and spirit, military training, good friends, supportive wife Achilles Heel: Racism. Not really his achilles heel, of course, but the world's.Triumph: Dies a hero. Makes the history books. |
Blessed with: A dream, a love of beauty, and best of all, a stubbornly good heart Achilles Heel: A bit naive so prone to reading the room wrong, trusting too soon, and putting her own needs last Triumph: Save a fashion house in Paris, gets the dress! |
Runners Up |
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Finalists: Opportunity & Spirit (themselves) for their heartwarming overdelivery on technical promise in Good Night Oppy, Rahimi (Zar Amir-Ebrahami) for her relentless pursuit of justice and truth despite hostility to women in Holy Spider, and Naru (Amber Midthunder) for saving her village and defeating the alien in Prey Semi Finalists: Nan Goldin (herself) in All the Beauty and the Bloodshed, OJ & Emerald Haywood (Daniel Kaluuya & Keke Palmer) in Nope, and Nanisca (Viola Davis) in The Woman King, and Shuri (Letitia Wright) in Black Panther: Wakanda Forever |
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Villain of the Year
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Jean Jacket |
Jobu Tubaki |
Miles Bron (Edward Norton) GLASS ONION |
Namor (Tenoch Huerta Mejia) BLACK PANTHER WAKANDA FOREVER |
The Scarlet Witch (Elisabeth Olsen) DOCTOR STRANGE IN THE MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS |
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Guilty of: Mass murder, stalking, messing with the wifi (and other electronics) |
Accomplices: Disciples all over the multiverse! You'll know them from that circular stamp... ooks like a bagel Sentence: Reformed.
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Guilty of: Megalomania. Murder. Intellectual Property Theft. Destroying classic works of art Accomplices: Dependent friends: influencers, scientists, politicians Sentence: Life of shame... if he was capable of feeling any. |
Guilty of: Murder. Making threatening offers you can't refuse Accomplices: Talokans, ample supply of Vibranium Sentence: He swims free but still holds a supergrudge against the surface world. "Namor will return" |
Guilty of: Mass murder. Multiversal mayhem! Renegging on her redemption arc from "Wandavision" Accomplices: The Darkhold. Plus America Chavez if she can catch her Sentence: Buried in mountainous rubble (for now) |
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Finalists: Saeed the Spider-Killer (Mehdi Bajestani) is a creepy crusading misogymist killer Holy Spider, The Grabber (Ethan Hawke) is teh stuff of urban legend in Black Phone Semi Finalists: Colonel Tom Parker (Tom Hanks) in Elvis, Men (unseen) in Women Talking, Jack Horner (John Mulaney) in Puss in Boots: The Last Wish, Danny Sharp (Jake Gyllenhaal) in AmbuLAnce, and Abigail Fairfax (Daniel Radcliffe) in The Lost City |
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Diva of the Year
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Empress Sissy |
Lola Cuevas (Penelope Cruz) OFFICIAL COMPETITION |
Lydia Tár (Cate Blanchett TAR |
Queen Ramonda (Angela Bassett) BLACK PANTHER: WAKANDA FOREVER |
Chef Slowik (Ralph Fiennes) THE MENU |
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Turn ons: ART, being a provocateur Hobbies: Making people uncomfortable, making ART, refusing to answer questions, manipulating actorsEnablers: Insecure actors, critics, awards bodies Turn offs: Answering questions about her art |
 Turn ons: Mahler, Bernstein, Herself, WomenHobbies: Flaunting her accomplishments, belittling others, seducing women, controlling time itself Enablers: Every sycophant her reputation produces Turn offs: Being challenged or blamed, |
Turn ons: Wakandan anything. Hobbies: Oration. Enunciation. Wearing jaw-dropping couture. Enablers: The Dora Milaje Turn offs: Oceanic invaders. Shifty politicians in the US and Europe. |
Turn ons: His own artistry. The joy of cooking. Calling the shots. YES, CHEF. Hobbies: Holding grudges, menu designing, vengeanceEnablers: Food critics, plus his violently loyal staff Turn offs: Foodies, Wealthy People |
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Finalists: Clueless entitled hilarious "Birdie Jay" (Kate Hudson) in Glass Onion, Maverick (Tom Cruise) still cocky af after all these years in Top Gun Maverick Semi Finalists: "Queen Gudrun" (Nicole Kidman) in The Northman, "Birdy" in Catherine Called Birdy, "Djinn" (Idris Elba) in 3000 Years of Longing "Mitzi Fabelman" (Michelle Williams) in The Fabelmans, "Silverio" (Daniel Gimenez Cacho) in Bardo |
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Sexpot of the Year
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| Carl (Harris Dickinson) TRIANGLE OF SADNESS |
Elvis (Austin Butler) ELVIS |
Nellie LaRoy |
Selina Kyle (Zoe Kravitz) THE BATMAN |
Will (Conrad Ricamora) FIRE ISLAND |
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Eager (even if he doesn't realize it) to be the kept trophy boy. He gets his wish on the island. |
An instant icon who caused a riot in the nation with his hip swiveling and sexual magnetism |
Determined to be the center of attention and knows that her desirability is the key |
From her slinky moves to the spell she casts (unintentionally) on Batman, Kravitz proves a worthy successor to a long line of talent in this role. |
The best kind of hunk.. the kind ho is a little shy and stiff about his own appeal (but unleashes it in the most disarming way -- dance-off!) |
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Finalists: Lady Fay Zhou (Li Jun Li) who has "it" but the world isn't ready for it in Babylon, the dangerous allure of restless insatiable Melinda (Ana de Armas) in Deep Water, the smooth charms of Leo Grande (Darly McCormack) in Good Luck to You Leo Grande who earns his money, And of course Norma Jeane (Ana de Armas) in Blonde though she'd place as a nominee if the film weren't so focused on sex as shameful and tragic for Marilyn Semi Finalists: Bella (Sofia Kappel) who thinks she's found her calling in Pleasure, the mysterious Song Seo-rae (Tang Wei) in Decision to Leave who reels the detective investigating her in like an old school femme fatale (though she isn't maybe as malevolent.) and Aaron (Luke McFarlane) who works hard at being an ideal specimen in Bros |
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MOVIE POSTER OF THE YEAR |
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| DECISION TO LEAVE | EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE... | HOLY SPIDER | TÁR | WHITE NOISE |
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Elegant mystery and labyrinthine meaning |
Dizzying, evocative, and funny. So meany easter eggs! |
Defiant juxtaposition of Persian rug and sex work |
Self-mythologizing grandeur in one bold swoop |
Incongruously cheerful satirical character posters. Ingenious way to sell this |
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Finalists: Aftersun, Triangle of Sadness |
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PICTURE | ACTING | VISUALS | AURALS | EXTRAS | SPECIAL - you are here | SCENES