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The Films of 2019. The 20th annual FiLM BiTCH Awards

PICTURE | ACTING | VISUALS | AURALS | EXTRAS | SPECIAL - you are hereSCENES 

 

AND THE NOMINEES ARE...
(this page contains SPOILERS. be warned)

 

Hero of the Year
Bo Peep
Annie Potts and animators
TOY STORY 4
Daniel Jones
Adam Driver
THE REPORT
Lance Corporal Schofield
(George MacKay)
1917
Harriet Tubman
(Cynthia Erivo)
HARRIET
Mr Rogers
(Tom Hanks)
A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
 Blessed with: Great friends, the capacity to begin again, a purpose in life.

Achilles Heel: Now disabled but she's not letting that stop her.

Sidekick: Her sheep --they've got six eyes but are terrible at driving. Giggle McDimples. And Woody, "that rag doll I told you about"

Triumph: Helps her former love grow. Living her own life.
Blessed with: Investigative skills. Deep focus. Righteous determination. An ability to think outside the box (figuratively and literally -- that windowless office)

Achilles Heel: Frequently oversteps...

Sidekick: ...and Senator Feinstein, reminds him who the boss actually is.

Triumph: Exposed the Bush administration's human rights abuses in 'The Torture Report'
 Blessed with: Bravery and good-heartedness in the hellscape of war. Zombie-like levels of tenacity.

Achilles Heel: Time -- there's only so much of it.

Sidekick: Lance Corporal Blake.

Triumph: Delivers the messages. Saves hundreds of lives.
Blessed with: A fierce will, righteous stubbornness, incredible bravery (...and either a direct line to God or psychic powers?)

Achilles Heel: None. Harriet is less biopic than hagiography.

Sidekick: Everyone working the Underground Railroad

Triumph: Freeing dozens of enslaved people. Leaving an incredible legacy of progressive activism
 Blessed with: Spiritual depth, superhuman levels of patience, and kindness.

Achilles Heel: The movie provocatively / inspiringly suggests that even Mr Rogers has a dark side. Goodness is a choice.

Sidekick: Hand puppets. Otherwise a bit of a loner unless you count those in-show co-stars.

Triumph: Helps to heal a broken man and family. Gets a glowing Esquire profile.

Runners Up

 

Finalists: "Jing Zhou" (Chao Deng) and "Halla" (Halldora Geirhardsottir) from Shadow and Woman at War, respectively, both are waging impossible-to-win wars (plus both actors get to play dual roles so we've grouped them. Double fun for those actors -- and audiences, too -- when the movies are this good!; As last hurrahs go Avengers Endgame is one big long love letter to "Iron Man" (Robert Downey Jr)

Semi Finalists:  "Captain Marvel" (Brie Larson) in Captain Marvel, "Jo March" (Saoirse Ronan) in Little Women, "Alita" (Rosa Salazar and animators) in Alita: Battle Angel, and "Billy Batson/Shazam" (Asher Angel & Zachary Levi) in Shazam!

 

Villain of the Year
The Härga
(Cast)
MIDSOMMAR
Joker
(Joaquin Phoenix)
JOKER
Mysterio
(Jake Gyllenhaal)
SPIDER-MAN FAR FROM HOME
 Ransom Drysdale
(Chris Evans)
KNIVES OUT
The Tethered
(Lupita Nyong'o and Cast)
US
 Guilty of: Killing sprees, torture, ritual suicide, and gorgeously art-directed gaslighting.
     
Accomplices: Hallucinogenic drugs, gullible Americans.

Sentence: They will kill again. Sure they lose a few members along the way but adopt or birth their replacements.


Guilty of: Incessant whining and self-pity, matricide, revenge killings, stalking women, frequent dancing, inciting mass chaos, telling bad jokes.

Accomplices: None unless you count inhumane bureaucracies as an easy scapegoat for his crimes.

Sentence: Will live on to drive Bruce Wayne batty.

 Guilty of: Revenge plotting, power-mongering, casual murders, and elaborately designed gaslighting.

Accomplices: Staff of visual effects artists.

Sentence: Karmic retribution. Death by his own devices intended to kill Spider-Man.

 Guilty of: Telling everyone to eat shit. Also attempted murder, attempted theft, frequent lying, and charmingly executed gaslighting.

Accomplices
: the vanity and greed of his family, Equal Opportunity Moochers the lot of them.

Sentence
: Prison (presumably)
 Guilty of: Intense feelings of jealousy, killing sprees, mass slaughter of rabbits, and attempted genocide.

Accomplices: They dont need any with their numbers; They're "us"
 
Sentence: At large, currently holding hands across America.


Runners Up

Finalists: Tom Hooper of Cats. 

Semi Finalists: Greta (Isabelle Huppert) in Greta, Ma (Octavia Spencer) in Ma, Gabby (Christina Hendricks and animators) Toy Story 4, Dibs (Juliette Binoche) in High Life, Queen Ingrith (Michelle Pfeiffer) in Maleficent: Mistress of Evil, Yon Rogg (Jude Law) in Captain Marvel

NOTE: All too many villains this year were too derivative / regurgitated / continued from past glories to factor in. This hindered Toy Story 4's Gabby from making the nominee list and also means that the villains from Terminator: Dark Fate , Star Wars Rise of Skywalker, and Avengers Endgame (despite the game actors involved) were easy exclusions. Thanos, for example, was a nominee last year in this category but not new or evolved or different enough in Endgame to factor in again.

 

 

Diva of the Year
Elton John"
(Taron Egerton)
ROCKETMAN
"Héloïse"
(Adele Haenel)
PORTRAIT OF A LADY ON FIRE
"Jessica / Ki-jung"
(Park So Dam)
PARASITE
"Old Deuteronomy"
(Judi Dench)
CATS
"Ramona"
(Jennifer Lopez)
HUSTLERS

 Turn ons
: Men. Fame. Drugs. Love.

Hobbies: All of the above. Plus being a drama queen and giving legendary concerts.

Enablers: That endless eyepopping wardrobe to underline his fabulousity "they pay to see ELTON JOHN!," big talent and Bernie Taupin.

Turn offs: Sobriety. Loneliness. "I want love. Just a different kind..."

Turn ons
: Marianne the painter. Exhilarating outdoor walks. The company of women.

Hobbies: Being utterly bewitching and hard to predict. Role play.

Enablers: Her "companion" Marianne, her maid Sophie, but not, alas, her mother.

Turn offs: Milanese suitors. Matrimony.
 Turn ons
: The long con and the short improvisd grift - either gets her going.

Hobbies
: Intentional googling. Master degree worthy forgery. Creating mnemonic jingles. Weaponizing peaches. She's the coolest and most naturally criminal member of the Kims.

Enablers
: Her brother. Plus gullible Mrs Park

Turn offs
: Unknown

Turn ons
: Gus... She's definitely the cat that got that cream. Curling up in her cat bed and stretching her legs. Her own fur coat, which she wears like a queen's royal cape and trail.

Hobbies: Judging other cats. Condescending lectures "A cat is not a dog."

Enablers: The jellicle cats who bow and defer to her on their very lives

Turn offs: Macavity.
 Turn ons: Money. Sisterhood. Usher. Her fur coat.

Hobbies: Conning rich men out of their money. Spending it.

Enablers: Destiny, Mercedes, Annabelle, Dawn, and Mother. And gullible men.

Turn offs: The rigged system. Being held accountable for her crimes or rationalizations.
 

Finalists: "Nora Fanshaw" (Laura Dern) loves to hear herself talk in Marriage Story - but it's really the kicking off the high heels that sells it, "Gigi" (Billie Lourde) is everywhere you look, running on her own schedule, living in her own world, in Booksmart

Semi Finalists: "Judy Garland" (Renée Zellweger) in Judy; "Rudolph Nureyev" (Oleg Ivenko) in The White Crow; "Bo Peep" (Annie Potts and animators) in Toy Story 4; "Josephine Chesterfield" (Anne Hathaway) in The Hustle; and "Becky Something" (Elisabeth Moss) in Her Smell

 

 

Sexpot of the Year
"Cliff Booth"
Brad Pitt
ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD
"Diamantino"
Carloto Cotta
DIAMANTINO
"Julia de Fiore"
Julia Fox
UNCUT GEMS
"Ramona"
Jennifer Lopez
HUSTLERS
"Yoav"
Tom Mercier
SYNONYMS
To rework TLC's famous album title, This is chillsexycool. No wonder Pussycat propositions him.  Guileless sex appeal and adoringly dim goodness. Even his narcissism is childlike in its innocence. Unashamedly wielding her sex as primary tool of life. But she swears nothing happened with the Weeknd!  That pole dancing! Sex appeal as cover for financial hustling. Watch your wallets and bank accounts, plural.  Whether dancing, getting naked, eating, sexing, or trying to be French, he's utterly uninhibited, the body as the 'id' as he creates a new self.
 

Finalists: "Minnie" (Isla Fisher) turns the supportive wife trope on its head, or possibly its back with hedonism and polyamorous pragmatism; In Little Women via her options of "Friedrich/Laurie" (Louis Garrel / Timothée Chalamet), Saoirse Ronan continues to be the unchalleged screen queen of win/win situations in choice of romantic partners (see also Lady Bird / Brooklyn)

Semi Finalists: "Dibs" (Juliette Binoche) really gets into that fuck-box in High Life; "Eduardo" (Cesar Vicente) is 'the first desire' without even realizing it in Pain and Glory. "Constance" (Diane Lane) in Serenity... it's her (literal) role to be a booty call; "Jung Tae-seok" is the cop in The Gangster The Cop and the Devil and plays it with real BDE; and all those horny Cats but particularly Old Deuteronomy, Skimbleshanks, Macavity, and Bombalurina

 

Movie Poster of the Year
PAIN AND GLORY PORTRAIT OF A LADY ON FIRE THE REPORT TRANSIT
US
A larger than life shadow (aka legend) and that Almodovar red. It's a bold self-portrait snapshot.  A fiery kiss revealing globs of oil paint is the boldest of the film's multiple gorgeous posters. Incisively representing the movie's dry hard slog through reams of bureaucracy.   Haunting reflections. Even the protaongist isn't quite corporeal but lost in spacee, country-less  Instantly iconic. Plus a clever rethink of its doppelganger horror (no one actually wears masks)
Runners Up

Finalists: Those redacted eyes and oddly posed bodies for Parasite, super-imposed wordplay for Synonyms, and throwback illustrated posterwork for Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

 Semi Finalists: masculine and minimalist for Ford v Ferrari,  war paint cool for Alita Battle Angel,  paperback portraiture for Last Black Man in San Francisco, and Florence Pugh's anguish during MidSommar