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Hero of the Year
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| "Bravo Company" Jeremy Renner, Anthony Mackie & Brian Geraghty THE HURT LOCKER |
"Carl Frederickssen" Ed Asner & animators UP |
"Father" Viggo Mortensen THE ROAD |
"jakesully" Sam Worthington AVATAR |
"Wikus Van Der Merwe" Sharlto Copley DISTRICT 9 |
| Blessed with: Bravery (though 'everyone's a coward about something'), camarederie and day in/day out perserverance. Achilles Heel: Shoddy supplies, adrenalie addiction. Triumph: Saving lives. |
Blessed with: Stubborn determination, the love of a good woman, empathy, quick thinking and adventurous spirit. Achilles Heel: Grumpy. Has trouble letting go. Triumph: Let's go. That scene where he empties the house? *Sob* |
Blessed with: Immense paternal love, general human empathy, quick wits and survival instincts. Achilles Heel: Deep wells of sadness. That and the apocalyptic malnutrition. Triumph: His Boy lives on. |
Blessed with: Strength, agility, fearlessness. He's also a quick study. Achilles Heel: Those military apron strings. Selfish desire to get his legs back... "his real legs!" Triumph: Saves a world, gets the girl, tames the dragon. |
Blessed With: inner humanity, especially once the outer humanity fails him. Achilles Heel: Prejudice. Triumph: Helps an alien nation return to their world. Otherwise, things turn out pretty grim for him. |
| Gold: CARL FREDERICKSEEN Silver: FATHER Bronze: WIKUS Finalists: Coraline for CORALINE | Sam Worthington as "Marcus" in TERMINATOR SALVATION was there until Wikus and jakesully bested him in the find-your-humanity-by-losing-it sweepstakes | Ellen Page as "Bliss" from WHIP IT. Self actualization. In short and to borrow the tagline: she becomes her own hero. Semi-Finalists: Tony Leung as "Zhou You" in RED CLIFF | Morgan Freeman as "Nelson Mandela" in INVICTUS | There were a lot more heroices onscreen this year but did so many of them have to be so blank, so glum or two dimensional in their characterizations? |
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Villain of the Year |
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| "Colonel Hans Landa" Christoph Waltz INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS |
"The Fabrication Machine" animators 9 |
"Lamia" Art Kimbro (and KNB EFX Group) DRAG ME TO HELL |
"Mary Jones" Mo'Nique PRECIOUS |
"Other Mother" Teri Hatcher (and animators) CORALINE |
| Guilty of: Show off superiority, mass murder, cat-like love of torturing prey, intimidation and manipulations. Accomplices: the Nazis. Sentence: He never gets to take off that uniform now, does he? |
Guilty of: Genocide, unlimited arms race fever. Accomplices: Only those it creates and they are legion. Sentence: Implosive defeat. Though who knows what happened at the end of this movie. Do you? |
Guilty of: Pure evil, fear mongering, animal sacrifice and goat possession. Accomplices: Gypsy women with foul tempers and poor oral hygiene. Sentence: Unknown. Presumably still torturing the deamned in Hell. |
Guilty of: Child abuse (every variety thereof). Plus: Welfare-cheating, chain-smoking, slothful poisonous rage. Accomplices: Mostly herself. Skilled at self-absolving pity and rationalization. Sentence: Isolation. |
Guilty of: Lies, child abuse, deceitful illusions, kidnapping, macabre soul stealing and unlicensed attempts at ocular surgery. Accomplices: Other Father, rats. Sentence: Loss of the game... and her bony hand; trapped in a well. |
| Gold: OTHER MOTHER Silver: HANS LANDA Bronze: MARY JONES Finalists: Tae-Ju (Ok-Bin Kim) from THIRST. Havoc making vampiress but I sufficently awarded her for acting already | Iron Maven (Juliette Lewis) in WHIP IT. But more of a bad girl with heart than a true villain | Colonel Miles Quaritch (Stephen Lang) from AVATAR. A smidgeon too cartoonishly broad for me but I love that claw scar. Semi-Finalists: Boggis, Bunce & Bean from FANTASTIC MR. FOX had their own theme song | Gallaxher from MONSTERS VS. ALIENS had his moments. |
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Diva of the Year
Worship their fabulousity |
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| "Brüno" Sacha Baron Cohen BRUNO |
"Charley" Julianne Moore A SINGLE MAN |
"Claudia" Nicole Kidman NINE |
"Neytiri" Zöe Saldana AVATAR |
"Countess Sofya Tolstoy" Helen Mirren THE LAST STATION |
| Turn ons: Do you really want me to type all that up? Pass. Hobbies: Public scenes, public sex, seeking global fame. Enablers: Lutz, Paula Abdul, Ron Paul and assorted other dumbasses. Turn offs: Carbs. |
Turn ons: Gay men, dirty jokes, gin. Hobbies: Dressing up fabulousity, drinking, self-pity, living in the past. Enablers: George, Tanqueray. Turn offs: Reality (aging, grief, sexual orientation, divorce, etcetera) |
Turn ons: Beautiful costumes, finished scripts, Guido (albeit in the past tense) Hobbies: Acting, making fabulous entrances, loving Guido in her very unusual way. Enablers: Global fanbase. Turn offs: Winging it on set. |
Turn ons: "jakesully" and Eywa (but not in that order), clean kills, the Tree of Souls, men with huge... dragons. Hobbies: hunting, banshee flying, spreading the gospel of Eywa Enablers: Mom and Dad (i.e. the Na'Vi royals) Turn offs: Liars, humans. |
Turn ons: Leo Tolstoy, the massive family estate, mating calls Hobbies: Hissy fits, plate breaking, eavesdropping Enablers: She's losing them rapidly. Turn offs: Zealots, everyone who worships her husband (i.e. the competition) |
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Gold: COUNTESS SOFYA TOLSTOY Silver: BRUNO Bronze: CLAUDIA Semi-Finalists: "Chéri and Lea" (Rupert Friend and Michelle Pfeifffer) were once divas. But perhaps divas should never fall in love with other divas... the powers dissipate. There can be only one. | "Jenny" (Carey Mulligan) lack only AN EDUCATION in several ways. She's a diva-in-training. |
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Sexpot of the Year
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| "Alex Goran" Vera Farmiga UP IN THE AIR |
"Carlos" Jon Kortajarena A SINGLE MAN |
"Chéri & Lea" Rupert Friend & Michelle Pfeiffer CHERI |
"Lena" Penélope Cruz BROKEN EMBRACES |
"Ray Coval" Clive Owen DUPLICITY |
| Flirts like a champ, texts like a horndog, and kicks up her heels with great party girl spontaneity. Who wouldn't be snookered? |
George to Carlos "You have an incredibly face. Enjoy that. It's a gift." George then hands him a $20. This gift is totally underpriced. |
He's hot for teacher. She's obsessed with student. Their love is doomed but their shared cruel icy beauty is stunningly hot match. |
I'll never forget her emergence from those pristine white sheets. If Cruz gets any hotter movie theaters are going to burn down. This movie speaks true: Even blind men stroke her picture! |
Clive's always been dangerously sexy but now adds humor to the mix. Whether he's faking an accent to seduce easy prey or sparring with his equal (Roberts) he's a movie dream. |
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Gold: LENA Silver: ALEX GORAN Bronze: CARLOS Semi-Finalists: "Prince Albert" (Rupert Friend) in THE YOUNG VICTORIA -Christ, Vicki, just marry him already. He's perfect. | "Shawn" (Channing Tatum) is good at FIGHTING. And taking his shirt off | "Andrew" (Ryan Reynolds) how did THE PROPOSAL not involve a must-have-sex-with-me clause? Maybe Margaret Tate wasn't such a good businesswoman after all. |
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Best Tagline
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| (500) DAYS OF SUMMER |
CORALINE |
INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS |
UP IN THE AIR |
WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE |
| "This is not a love story. This is a story about love." |
"Be careful what you wish for." |
"Once upon a time in Nazi occupied France." |
"The story of a man ready to make a connection." |
"There's one in all of us." |
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Gold: WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE Silver: CORALINE Bronze: INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS Semi-Finalists: IN THE LOOP "Things are about to spin out of control." | IT'S COMPLICATED "Divorced... with benefits." |
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Best Poster Design
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| ANTICHRIST |
DISTRICT 9 |
MOON |
PRECIOUS | WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE |
| The first image released, a couple rutting in a tree of dead souls, was arresting enough. The sick scissor poster once the word was out? Genius. |
The scifi allegory made great use of signage and logos for its campaign, memorable marking the tense alien/human divide and likely violence to come. |
The circular motif is an obvious one for the title but the optical illusion surface and the offcenter framing is perfect for this disoriented spaceman. |
The abuse centric teaser featured a body cracked by a malevolent hand. The second was softer but stunning. Precious is a work in progress. You can see the brush strokes. |
Posters should reflect a film's mood and texture (as well as selling it) and this works on both counts. All that mnemonic fur. Instant childhoold recall. |
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Gold: ANTICHRIST Silver: PRECIOUS Bronze: WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE Semi-Finalists: TERMINATOR: SALVATION (the one with the fiery-eyed skull) | AN EDUCATION (upside down couple) romantic and glossy. |
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