Oscar Night is Here. Live-Tweeting

Each year we stress ourselves out with live blogging of all the big events but for Oscar... Since it's my favorite holiday I usually throw a party and recap later right here. Tonight I'm taking a cue from the fatigue I see all over the red carpet. As I turned on the TV Berenice Bejo had the microphone in her face. Why are the Oscars so special?

Because it's the last one."

While that's a genuine truth, "the last one" came out with something like a squinting faraway desperation for a week in bed. The cast and crew of The Artist have been working it for months you have to admit.

They're so committed I wouldn't be surprised to have seen them helping to roll out the red carpet. Bejo's high heel imprints are still faintly visible on red carpets all over the state.

I am party-less so I'll be live tweeting. Something more low key. I miss so much when I'm typing and photoshopping and polling and everything all at once. And I don't wanna miss the Oscars. I'll update this post a few times during the night with my tweets as guide so refresh your screen.

Red Carpet

• I was hoping that Michelle would come as Marilyn but she's very Michelle.

• Tate Taylor (The Help) so handsome. And I just noticed for the 1st time this morning that he's one of Steenburgen's sycophants in The Help.

• E! Claims "Total Departure!" for Rooney Mara because she's in white not black. Get back to me when she's in a pink ball gown

It's a little chilly"
-Rooney Mara

... weather and personality.

• Best Actress Fashion Watch. Thus far Davis > Close > Williams > Mara. Not exactly the order I expected. Where's Streep?

• Tate Taylor (The Help) so handsome. And I just noticed for the 1st time this morning that he's one of Steenburgen's sycophants in THE HELP

• "the man who loved best actresses too much" that'll be the title of my self-help book if i ever get help.

• Jessica Chastain looks amazing but better than the dress is that unexpectedly girlie bouncy personality . she brought her Nana!

"I love the energy, the light, the american faces and the cinammon rolls"

-Jean Dujardin

• It'll be hard to top Jean Dujardin's red carpet quote about his awards season experience.

MORE AFTER THE JUMP

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It's Oscar Day. Are You Prepared For Guests?

The day has finally arrived! Have you finished all your last minute preparations? Made your final predictions? Bought all your party gifts and decor?

Baked all your chocolate pies and other Best Picture themed foods?

If Anxiety, Excitement, Prediction Jitters, Star Lust, and Indifference were all competing in the same category for "Best Usurping Of Your Mood," which would win?

Randomness: Oscars, Silents, Women Helmers, Loser Gifs

Salon on the reinvention of Brad Pitt. Good history piece / career overview
Vulture Best Pictures as infographics
Pajiba "interviews" Amanda Seyfried about her latest hacktress movie Gone.
NPR Monkey See smart provocative piece on the politics of Warrior (2011)
New York 100 pictures of Meryl Streep through the years. She ages backwards in this gallery
IMDb a gallery of your acting nominees in and out of character

My New Plaid Pants has my favorite "which is hotter?" of all time featuring (American Psycho)
Low Resolution's top ten films of 2011. Not your average top 10 list.
Some Came Running objects to the frequent comparisons of Singin' in the Rain and The Artist
Sunset Gun, now married to Guy Maddin -- is this the first time a film critic has married a director? trivia experts? -- explains his latest project, seances if you will to remake lost silent films.
Booby Finger How To Watch The Oscars a very snarky guide if you're into that sorta thing

Film Festivals Are Infinite
With Skyfall just around the corner I find myself thinking of 007 James Bond quite often and then Pierce Brosnan popped up in my inbox. Have you ever heard of Cinemagic? It's a film festival / workshop type thing for young people interested in filmmaking. (I'm reasonably confident that someone starts a new film festival every day of each year in the 21st century; they are infinite). It's Irish born but it's been expanding and Pierce Brosnan is a celebrity supporter.

Should I revisit all the Bond films this year. I'm torn on how to honor the 50th anniversary.

Our Apologies To 50% of the World's Population
Between the still pervasive global problems of sexist, patriarchal and theocratic governments and cultures and religions that love to treat women like shit, and the latest hypocrisies of the ever sick-making US Republican party ("we believe in small government except when it comes to war-making and your personal morality so hold still while we insert this probe into your vagina without your consent!") women just can't catch a break lately. So why not share this video from IndieWire's Women in Hollywood blog about the female directed movies Oscar didn't love.

It's interesting how many quality female-helmed films there were this past year and I absolutely support the notion that we need more female directors. But I also think it's worth being realistic and saying that none of these films would have won Oscar attention even if their directors had penises. Not that kind of movie(s).

Sally Kirkland when Cher wins. Love ya, SallyWhat you still need more Oscarable links? Jesus!
24 Frames interesting bit about Alfre Woodard's activism within AMPAS
Vulture Best Pictures as infographics
In Contention Guy defends The Artist ... and has money on it.
Gawker on Netflix user reviews of Best Pictures
Slate Acceptance Speeches! Yes, I linked / wrote it but wheeee interactive

Finally... fourfour has a "how they lost" an animated gif wall of Oscar name-reading and the instant smiling that follows. I don't know what caused it but I kind of think nominees are better at hiding their feelings in today's Oscar world which makes it less fun.

Naturally I love this gif wall though my favorite isn't listed. So here it is again for you because it's my preferred method of self-flagellation.

I love you Kathleen!

I'm aware that this post is extremely scattered but it's the day before the Oscars. I'm all over the place with anxiety!

Final Oscar Predictions: Oui, It's "The Artist"

We'll talk more this weekend but I want to get this posted. I'll be applauding loudly when The Artist wins. Everyone always complains that Oscar doesn't appreciate comedies and then when they do, everyone always screams "trifle!" with holier than thou disgust; the Academy can't win! But this (presumed) winner is a beauty. All twinkly-eyed, big hearted and (mostly) light on its feet. The only real question seems to be how many Oscars will it win. I'm guessing seven... though three of those guesses are easy to see flopping (Actor, Costumes, Cinematography). I don't see it any scenario where it wins Art Direction, Supporting Actress or Screenplay so I'm guessing seven is the maximum. Since you can make such a viable argument for literally any of the five nominees to win Costume Design, I'm guessing the showiness / baitiness of all of them will tip things ever so slightly into the Artist column, which is also I think what's going in Cinematography. I just can't quite believe that "El Chivo" will finally win the gold he's deserved for so long (the latest chance being with The Tree of Life). I've highlighted the true nailbiter categories in red; if you get them right you win the Office Pool.

Best Picture
Will Win: The Artist
Spoiler: The Descendants and The Help are the only films with spoiler heat but even if you try and talk yourself into them, you think you're lying right?
Should Win: Haters gon' hate but The Artist is a beautiful funny rare gift. 

Best Director
Will Win: Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist
Spoiler: Martin Scorsese started precursor season strong with Hugo but the movie has been cooling so I have to wonder if it isn't Alexander Payne in second position for The Descendants
Should Win: I'll clap loudly for Hazanavicius but if they decide not to give the Artist everything, a surprise career win for Terrence Malick would be delicious

all categories after the jump...

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Complete the (Shocker) Sentence...

"Everyone will be surprised when ____________ wins the ________ Oscar on Sunday except for me. He/she/they'll win because ____________________________."

Pssst
Final Oscar Predictions are coming tonight. I apologize for the delay. I didn't want to leave it till the weekend but it's been a long week. Do you read the site on the weekend or are you more of a weekday at work type? Wait, maybe you shouldn't admit that if your boss also reads.