A Pizza Ranks the Celebrities Who Ate Him at the Oscars

I am no more.

But the glorious finale of my life, too brief though watched by millions, was sensual mastication in the mouths of the world's greatest beauties. My only regret, days later whether unnaturally purged or properly digested, is that I never reached the pillowy lips of the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award Winner.

To Angelina... my unrequited love!

10 Ellen DeGeneres for ordering me

09 [tie] Harrison Ford & Calista Flockhart for pizza is love

07 Jennifer Lawrence

06 Jared Leto who had for too long forsaken my brothers and sisters.

05 Julia Roberts you have worshipped her megawatt smile but I have known it intimately.

04 Chiwetel Ejiofor who I voted for for Best Actor; and none for you Matthew McConaughey

03 Brad Pitt who so lovingly passed out the paper plates which did cradle me in those final moments and who held me so gently as his perfect teeth pulled desperately at my cheesy surfaces. I didn't mean to resist; I just wanted the moment to last forever.

02 Kerry Washington to provide sustenance to your unborn!

01 Meryl Streep who is the best at everything. Including devouring me. 

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Curio: Sunday's Special Oscar Foods

Alexa here. My annual Oscar tradition of theme food took a detour this year, primarily because the most anticipated part of the show for the members of my household under 5 was hearing Idina Menzel sing the song that launched a million YouYube viewings.  

So, instead of a meal made of clever puns I made a "Let It Go" cake, complete with swirly snow icing.

Appropriately enough, our meal beforehand was some rather uninspired pizza, which we enjoyed sharing with Brad and Meryl. [More from the menu after the jump...]

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Interview: Lupita Nyong'o on 12 Years, Non-Stop and Her Future

On Lupita Nyong'o's Instagram account she captioned this one:

Yes, a chocolate BAFTA will do quite nicely, thank you!

A golden BAFTA woulda been better but what can you do?

Recently it came to me in a flash: Lupita Nyong'o is the new Jessica Chastain!  Think about it: classically trained movie actress in her early 30s goes from complete unknown to everyone's favorite in the blink of an eye in a critically acclaimed movie (movies plural in Chastain's case) and proves herself a complete and utter natural at celebrity, red carpets, fashion, and social media. 

Of course I didn't know all this when I first sat down with Lupita in the fall in the first rush of acclaim for Twelve Years a Slave, a meeting I shamefully neglected to tell you about until now. Looking over the transcript it occurs to me that the past few months have been so eventful that pieces of our conversation barely make sense. We're conversing as if she isn't a huge celebrity. But the right role at the right time can permanently change things for an actor. [More...]

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Curio: Legos Legos Everywhere

Alexa here. Our local multiplex conveniently exits right next to a Lego store. So, our weekend plans were pretty much set: see the movie my daughter has been begging for since seeing the trailer months ago, then buy the related merchandise.  I will admit that I was all too happy to help her build her Cloud Cuckoo Land palace after soaking in the glorious amalgam that was the movie. But, in search of some alternative merchandise, I've picked these possibly trademark-infringing goodies for sale that celebrate the film as well. They are, as is everything, awesome! (Mark Mothersbaugh ate my brain.)

Cake, clothes and more after the jump...

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Nominee Luncheon: The Menu. The Leo.

This is what your favorite movie stars are nibbling on, during the speeches and the schmoozing...

You're serving Julia Roberts and Meryl Streep fish again?!? Who do you suppose is eating what?

I imagine a lot of them are on special diets and not eating at all and between Michael Fassbender, Barkhad Abdi, Sally Hawkins, and McConaughey & Leto are these the skinniest acting shortlists of all time? So many beanpoles. Who has the biggest appetite: June Squibb? David O. Russell? Barkhad Abdi (I just like typing his name)?

I know I'm not supposed to make fun of typos given that this blog is often typed as fast and as recklessly as my fingers will allow but I am desperate to try anything "Stir fired" because it sounds amazing.

Leo says 'hi'