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Thursday
Jan132011

Natalie Portman and Rooney Mara TOPLESS !

What? I was feeling jealous of everyone else's sensationalist headlines. It's weblag from that NYFCC brouhaha and that 'lazy journalism' Jacki Weaver was talking about in our interview. So, 'bout that headline. Define Topless. We're most concerned with definition #3...


...although we suspect most actresses would like us to use the obsolete definition, #5.

Ubiquitous NATALIE PORTMAN found that she just wasn't making enough bank this year from Black Swan or her four, yes four, 2011 features. Also, the covers of every magazine weren't enough now and won't be enough when she wins the Oscar and still won't be enough this summer when she gives birth either. So now you can find her photos inbetween the reams and reams of magazine articles about her as as she hawks Christian Dior's cosmetics and perfumes. Here she is posing for Miss Dior. 

 

Her children's children's children will have their trust funds all insured by the end of 2011. Also: many trees will die in her honor.

For what it's worth she's more naked in Wes Anderson's Hotel Chevalier (2007) than she'll ever be in a magazine and it's a damn good miniature performance, too.

Meanwhile...

W Magazine has a whole slide show featuring ROONEY MARA as Lisbeth Salander for David Fincher's The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (2011).

Rooney Mara as Lisbeth Salander

The photos are pretty amazing though we're still not crazy about that Millenium Trilogy in concept and apart from the money and that unbreakable serial killer obsessions of David Fincher's, we're still not sure why he's doing it. Especially since you know he's not going to actually make the sequels.

Rooney... remember how much she did with just three scenes in The Social Network? Imagine what she might do over the course of two hours!

 

 

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Reader Comments (9)

The Social Network did not prepare me for Rooney Mara as a Suicide Girl.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWalter

Is it just me, or does her head look absolutely ENORMOUS in that Miss Dior ad? And couldn't they have run a comb through her hair before the shoot?

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBilly D

Tired of her already. Waaaaaay to over exposed.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Tired of her already. Waaaay too overexposed.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Don't worry, she'll go back to hibernation after that little cygnet is born.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBM

how airbrushed is she though? It's like she's 19 again!

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNathaniel R

"Little cygnet" is genius.

I couldn't handle the last half of the Dragon Tattoo novel or the entirety of the film. I love Jeannette Catsoulis's deadpan one-liner dismissal of the movie: "Anal rape suddenly lost its appeal." But I trust Fincher and Mara to improve things considerably, especially since this slideshow informs us that the whole finale has been entirely re-written. I hope that by "finale" they mean the last 250pp., but I'll take what I can get. Bring it, Rooney!

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNick Davis

"little cygnet"? OMG. Genius, indeed.

I haven't seen Hotel Chevalier, Nat but she was topless (actually, full frontal nude, so that probably doesn't count, does it?) in Anderson's The Darjeeling Express (or rather, that prologue) and gave a damn fine performance in it. Tightly controlled, understated. I prefer that sort of perf to "chewing up the scenery wacka-tude".

What I wonder is - since actresses have replaced the supermodels in getting all the perfume/makeup/fashion gigs (Portman, Kidman, Berry, Barrymore, Hayek, Blanchett - the list goes on and on), what the heck do the former supermodels do for work? I actually find myself feeling a little sympathy for the ladies who simply want to model when the actresses are hogging all the jobs, paychecks and attention. (*Tongue tucked only slightly in cheek*)

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJanice

THIS IS NOT TOPLESS!!!!!!!!!!. Her arms are a like a brassierre, they cover even more!!!! Do we call girls with bras topless? NOOOOOOOO we don't, we call them girls with bras on.

Please stop this hypocritical Mid-Western, Teabagging moralizing of non-nude people. Reeks of anti-semitism as well

And stop this hypocritical criticism of capitalism. This is the system you say y'all WANT, so learn to love it! Oh you want it, except apparently when tall black men throwing balls and petite East coast girls losing too much weight, make millions out of it .....

Puh Leeez, get a life.

If you don't want Natalie Portman or people like her to make loads of cash, go communist.

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCRASHTESTSMARTY
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