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« Live Blog Golden Globes | Main | Susannah York (RIP) »
Sunday
Jan162011

Live Blog Golden Globe Arrivals

6:09 Hi everyone! Another day in January, another punishing celebratory live blog. So far we've seen three dresses and I've already forgotten the names of the women who wore them. But for Olivia Wilde in a frankly enormous sparkly princess ball gown. E! Used their 360˚ Glam Cam on her and I swear she almost started singing a Disney "I Want" song as the camera spun round. Ryan Seacrest, whilst asking about the dresses, already felt the need to remind us that he was a man. If you need to remind us...

6:13 I hate the term "Baby Bump." It's not like these women are snorting teeny lines of cocaine or need their roads repaved.

6:16 They're showing Natalie Portman commercials mere minutes after showing flashbacks of her on other red carpets and after saying her name 31 times. This program is sponsored by Natalie Portman. (Aside: Um, there's an UP joke in No Strings Attached?!? Weird)

6:20 Inauspicious beginnings. Jennifer Love Hewitt as the first major interview?  Ryan Seacrest is talking about stepping on someones dress "Get Off My Dress" he says replaying the scene. I'm glad he didn't slip and say "Get Out Of My Dress."

6:36 Elisabeth Moss (Mad Men) is doing The Children's Hour with Kiera Knightley!? How is this the first I'm hearing of this? Which one plays the lesbian?

6:40 Seacrest just talked to Diana Agron which IMMEDIATELY made me flash back to Glenn's highlarious review of Burlesque in which he writes

Kristen Bell pops up occasionally, too, whenever the plot demands someone to scoff and scowl. And then Diana Agron of Glee appears momentary in a role so brief I can’t believe Andre Braugher wasn’t cast.

LOL. I'm still giggling about that one days later.

6:43 I wrote a drinking game for Towleroad Friday and if you are already playing it, God help you, but also: you've had to drink thrice (Three closeted gays already!)

6:44 "From this vantage point Natalie Portman looks stunning" That may be the most redundant sentence of all time.

6:49 Wait FOUR closet-cases already tonight? They're out in force.

6:53 Behold HELENA BONHAM-CARTER's shoes.

Helena Bonham-Carter's shoes

To quote PopWrap

Helena Bonham Carter's dress is 100% Helena Bonham Carter... #IGotYourCrazy

6:57 They are showing Lea Michele what she wore last year. Wouldn't you be horrified if someone showed you what you were wearing last year? I'm pretty sure I was clothed... at least. But I don't want a flashback.

7:02 I got lost in a PortmanHole.

Where am I. It's like all I can hear is her name. Her name is becoming ambient noise. Or like a droning suggestive trance. I love Natalie but if she suddenly starts talking about being a girl from a trailer park with a dream it'll be me having a psychotic break

7:11 I got so trapped in the Portmania that I forgot to mention that Ryan Seacrest just couldn't stop talking about asking Jake Gyllenhaal about  nudity in Love and Other Drugs. Naked Jake is to Love and Other Drugs was  Natalie Portman is to awards season. It's all anyone can talk about.

7:12 NICOLE KIDMAN on Rabbit Hole and reminding us that we're glad she married Keith Urban.

Nicole: He was the one that nudged me out of the nest.
Keith: It's important for Nicole to tell certain stories.

That it is.

7:13 I am so horrified that every MOVIE awards show is obsessed with teenage MUSIC stars that have nothing to do with movies.

 

7:18 Oh, I feel terrible for good filmmakers (Hi, Derek Cianfrance of Blue Valentine) when they try to discuss the fine points of their film on the red carpet. It just never works. Ryan Seacrest is not Charlie Rose.

<--- Speaking of roses... Natalie's

THE HORROR THE HORROR

That's going to give me appliqué nightmares. It's a special subsection of nightmares that one sometimes has, doesn't one?

7:26 This is moving so quickly that I have already missed talking about the two Janes. And Catherine Zeta Jones and the Movie Star She Sleeps With.

7:28 Angelina Jolie arrives in GREEN and suddenly every other star wearing green (and there are a lot of them) is probably mortified because, really, who can compete with Angelina. I mean besides Margaret Hamilton and her beautiful wickedness. I didn't get a photo, damnit.

7:33 Sandra Bullock's bangs.

Remember that scene in Edward Scissorhands where Edward sits with the dogs and performs one little snip for the sake of the dog's vision? ...That.

7:42 Halle Berry is wearing something that I think Demi Moore may have designed for her. (Sorry 80s joke. You are all too young for that joke).

And Michelle Williams was running late so she just wrapped her shower curtain around herself. Short hair is so easy. You can just shower and go!

7:45 Anne Hathaway's copper sequins -- she just called them CDs are as large as her vavavoom.

7:47 Megan Fox. Please do not wear a center slit while wearing pink. It's just... I just...it's...

Now might be the time to tell you that I hate when they ask people "WHO ARE YOU WEARING" Because it always makes me think of Buffalo Bill.

Q: Who are you wearing Jamie?

Silence of the Lamb's Jamie Gumm

A: "Uh.... a great big fat person."

 

I don't know how to follow that up. I am so sorry.

7:55 January Jones. Ryan Seacrest calls Matthew Weiner January's "creator" ... that didn't come out right. Maybe January does.not.exist.

7: 57 Olivia Wilde has now been on the red carpet for 2 HOURS. That's some dedication to your own camera whoredom!

7:58 Okay the show is about to start. We need to start a new post. This is so long but how cute that Tilda Swinton and Helen Mirren were hugging.


GROUP HUG!!!

okay, we're going to start a new post for the show itself.

 

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Reader Comments (39)

Hold on, I'm losing track of the gays! Seacrest, Baldwin, Bomer and Jakey?

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpiper

I said it first: "Nathalie Portman's fatigue"!

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterstjeans

stjeans -- yeah. EVERYONE is talking about her. even people totally unrelated.

January 16, 2011 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

and also piper it's a certain 5-0 person. i shan't say more.

January 16, 2011 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

Wow, Natalie's gown is so tacky. I know she's preggers and all, but she could've done way better.

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBK

wtf Scarlett?!!

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMike

NICOLE KIDMAN for the win.
My gosh, she should have won several times already. Hello, has anyone seen Bewitched, The Golden Compass, The Stepford Wives, The Interpreter, Australia, among others, to confirm that Kidman is the greatest actress of all time??? I will be totally pissed if she loses. Natalie Portman and Jennifer Lawrence do not even hold a candle to Miss Kidman because she is the queen.
I am sure you agree with Nat. Thank you in advance.

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpaopao1

The two Jane's! Who can ask for anything more?

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCengiz

Are you sure that Justin Bieber is not a 30 year old lesbian? Ohh Angelina in Green!!!

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMagicub

Ryan Gosling best dressed male (guh)

- sorry to my Jakey but that beard is just not working for me

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRyan

CENGIZ -- yes. i couldn't keep up. Love them. Both of them (though i want Krakowski to have an emmy and Jane Lynch si totally cockblocking her.

paopao -- is this an elaborate conceptual prank about her flops? She is the best, yes!

January 16, 2011 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

Nathaniel, Elisabeth is playing the Lesbian in Children's Hour. I think she'll be fabulous in that part...

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKim

p.s. yeah, those roses are just NOT doing it... maybe Natalie will end up like Reese fashion wise; blow it at the globes and sag then kill at the oscars

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRyan

If Nicole fails to win at the GG or Oscars, at least she is the winner in your soon to be released awards "ceremony". That is enough for us. At least we know that an unbiased, objective film critic like you knows who the real Best Actress is. Please release your awards soon, so we can gloat for Nicole. Please.

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercatsanddogs

I love how Sofia Vergara says Vera Wang.

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCengiz

Ryan -- well that's where you have to kill it!

January 16, 2011 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

I love how all these hot actors are avoiding the question if they have a girlfriend or looking for one.

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCengiz

what about scarlett and her green curtains dress?

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTerence

Natalie Portman looked gorgeous till I got to that stem. Wha...?

Nat -- If a chorus of Natalie!'s is bothering you now, I can only imagine what will become of you in a couple of hours. Relax!

Unless you've started seeing her face in the mirror... then shit just got real.

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbadmofo

Brad Pitt (beard looks in check, slick hair)
Christian Bale (long hair, yuck)
Scott Cann (usually so yummy but that beard and blonde streak, ick)
Helena Bonham Carter (LOVR HER)
Ryan Gosling (double yum)
Jake Gyllenhaal (yum)
Sofia Vergara (yowza
Julianne Moore (not sure red-heads should wear red too?)
Anne Hathaway (worst dressed)
Michelle Williams (bad dress and I’ve never liked her with short hair)
Mila Kunis (wearing same color as Jolie, uh oh ;)

- where's jon hamm and thomas jane?!?

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRyan

Natalie should take a look at Jane Krakowski for how to dress while pregnant.

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBK

@paopao1 I always thought Kidman was a bit wooden in Australia, but that's the only bad thing I can think of right now for her :) Agree she is brilliant.

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRuth

I'm calling it now. Johnny Depp will be nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Comedy for Rango.

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCengiz

cengiz -- hah!

January 16, 2011 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

Okay, I'm going to start the drinking game now, but with wine, so I'll take it easy.

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterfbh

okay, why does christian bale look like jesus?

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRyan

From now on, when introducing Jeremy Renner, they need to say "Jeremy Renner: The hottest 40 Year Old in the room."

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCengiz

does anyone know what christian bale said about robert de niro while onstage?

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterstella

Ricky Gervais gave one of the funniest monologues I've ever seen even if it was probably too inappropriate for a show that's supposed to be congratulatory. Oh well screw The Tourist.

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDean

la michelle pfeiffer and ALICE IN WONDERLAND?!? poor, nathaniel

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRyan

i never thought i'd say this but... F*CK Laura Linney! that was Falco's prize!

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRyan

I can't get over the fact that Sandra Bullock must be wearing a bad Cher wig.

January 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlex

7:28 Angelina Jolie arrives in GREEN and suddenly every other star wearing green (and there are a lot of them) is probably mortified because, really, who can compete with Angelina.

Well, tonight, Catherine Zeta Jones. ;-)

January 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPaul Outlaw

Natalie Portman - Worst Dressed

January 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoseph

i totally get the demi moore reference. definitely in the top 5 all time worst oscar outfits. two words: BIKER SHORTS.

January 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterrichard

Nathaniel I am going to see Children's Hour next week, Ellen Burstyn is in it too, beyond excited!

January 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRami

RAMI -- You must report back.

January 17, 2011 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

Bullock looked like CHER ... fer chr... sake! new career, new face!!!!!

January 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRick

I'm just back from watching youtube clips. A couple of superficial things got my attention. First, what the hell has Eisenberg done to his hair? glued it to his head?
And second, isn't Portman overselling the pregnancy? I mean I had only seen pictures, it's the first time I see her in movement, but it seems to me she wears dresses way too big for the state of her pregnancy which doesn't seem to me that ... advanced. I really like her, so I worry that if she gets the nomination and the win, five years from now people will be oversimplifying her nom/win with the "oh, she was a sweet pregnant woman playing a psycho" kind of thing, as most people tend to simplify in retrospect almost every past actress winner.

Other than that, where else can you see DeNiro trying (and failing) to do a stand up comedy routine when getting an honorary award?

January 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteriggy
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