Posterized: Michael Bay
Thursday, April 25, 2013 at 8:24PM 
I can't believe I'm doing this. It feels so perverse. But with the Notorious B.A.Y.'s 10th movie dropping this weekend, why not? Pain and Gain is winning generally favorable pre-release buzz for its dumb brute yuks and for Michael Bay's understanding of his own "gifts". And people are even asking if he's an "auteur"... which, well I called him that really early on because he is. Auteur means "author" so anyone with a clear ownership of their filmography -- where you can see their fingerprints all over their work -- qualifies. It doesn't mean "Great Filmmaker" though that tends to be how people use it.
Besides, I'm genuinely curious if you Film Experiencers have seen his movies. I've often bristled at the notion that movie buffs and cinephiles are elitist snobs. From my personal experience its the multiplex masses who are the true elitists, since they're so unlikely to seek out movies that are outside the mainstream comfort zones. Most "film snobs" I know will see just about anything and can find worth in just about any genre. Have any Michael Bay fans seen a film by Michael Haneke, Jane Campion or Lars von Trier?
Anyway...
How many of Michael Bay's nine GIANT movies have you seen?
Bad Boys (1995), The Rock (1995), Armageddon (1997)
Remember when you couldn't escape these blockbusters? Actually I escaped them. I only saw Armageddon in theaters from Bay's Noisy Nineties Breakthrough period. Because his films were always on cable at one point I think I have seen sizeable portions of the others.
Pearl Harbor (2001), Bad Boys II (2003), The Island (2005)
Remember when Pearl Harbor had Oscar buzz. Hee!
Remember how profoundly uncool it was of Michael Bay to blame Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson for The Island's box office failure? As if they were to blame for him getting his arguably worst reviews.
Transformers (2007), Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009), Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)
Michael Bay has been directing giant fucking robots (or the green screens where they will eventually be super-imposed) for the past half decade. Now he's got actors again, though he very wisely chose cartoonish ones.
How many of these blockbusters have you seen? I'm surprised to realize that I've seen only 3 in theaters though it feels like I've seen them all from their ubiquity. I do plan to see Pain & Gain. You?
Reader Comments (35)
Is that it? He only directed 9 movies? I thought I kept seeing his name on many movies, but now I think of it maybe he was just a producer. Nevertheless they always highlighted his name maybe even bigger than the director that's why I remember it.
I missed Bad Boys I & II (I have always wanted to watch this one as they said the first one was what made Will Smith a star, but I kept missing it) and The Rock. Weird that I like The Island the most out of the nine, but perhaps that's just because I adore Ewan McGregor so much I like him in everything (yes, even Angels and Demons and Star Wars LOL).
Yeah, that tends to be how auteur's used because with most of the worst ones, you go "anyone could have made that." Michael Bay is, at the very least, unique.
Oh my, I've seen them all, though only four in theares. Combined, probably liked maybe even a whole films worth.
Also, totally agree he's an auteur. Despite working with a multitude of writers, each of his movies have that Bay feel of arrogance, homophobia and view of women as sluts or sluts that might be able to briefly help/cry for the hero.
I've only seen two - The Rock and Armageddon. I was a teenager when they come out and I absolutely loved them! Lol. I also watched the first 10ish minutes of Transformers out of curiosity.
I have seen two thirds of his directorial output: "Bad Boys," "The Rock," "Armageddon," "Pearl Harbor," "Bad Boys 2," and "Transformers." Interestingly enough, I find the first "BB" to be his most fun, while the second for me is his absolute worst in almost every way.
I've always thought of Bay as an auteur because he really does fit the description in the most elementary definition of the term.
I've saw Transformers 2 in theaters (big mistake) and six overall: Bad Boys I & II, Armageddon, Transformers I & II, The Island.
The first Transformers and Bad Boys are still a lot of fun (to me anyway) and I think The Island is underrated.
Unfortunately, I have seen all his films, my God.
i am proud to say - zero.
i am ashamed to say that nothing will stop me from seeing a pumped up marky mark and the rock
I've seen 3 in theatres, The Rock, Armegeddon, Pearl Harbour. I actually liked The Rock. I saw the Island on TV recently. I won't be going to see Pain and Gain. I've seen that trailer 3or 4 times in the theatre, and that's enough.
I'm surprised as well that he doesn't have a output of 2 dozen movies or more.
I've seen all of them except The Rock (honestly never heard of it), The Island and the Transformers movies. I do think Pain & Gain looks really good though.
I just realized you actually have a "Giant Fucking Robots" tagging label. How cool is that? Guess next tagging will happen when Pacific Rim arrives.
I must be the only person who actually liked 'The Island'.
Of this filmography, I've only seen 'Armageddon', 'Transformers', 'Pearl Harbor' and the beforementioned 'The Island'.
From my personal experience its the multiplex masses who are the true elitists, since they're so unlikely to seek out movies that are outside the mainstream comfort zones.
You're fully aware the public sees movies as escapist entertainment and not art to enrich their lives.
I've seen them all (sigh) except for Bad Boys I and II. Though technically I didn't really "see" The Island since I was pretty pissed drunk at that time. Oh college, I miss you sometimes.
I've seen them all but BB 2 and one of the Transformer sequels (the one that did not blow up Chicago). Pearl Harbor was an obvious attempt to cash in on Titanic and turn Bay and Jerry Bruckheimer into (gulp) Oscar winners. Alas, it did not work. At best, they're testosterone music videos that are "entertaining" on a basic level.
I miss college, too!
3. And one of them only because it had Ewan McGregor in it.
I do wonder though who's the person responsible for choosing titles, which name in that endless list of names that is the final credits has specifically the task of picking up/making up a title. I would've never titled a Michael Bay movie Pain and ... Not unless you want to do it for laughs. The jokes just write themselves: Pain, sure, but gain?
I think I saw Armageddon and Bad Boys in theaters, both I enjoyed at the time. I don't mind these big blockbuster movies from time to time, and you know what you're getting with Bay which I appreciate. I didn't watch Transformers because even as a kid I never understood the appeal of the toys
I hate to be that person who says things like "I have a friend who ..." but ... I have a friend who works at Criterion. And he said that MIchael Bay is one of the principal investors/donors to Criterion (ergo, there is a Criterion version of The Rock ... look it up, peeps!). Ever since I heard that, it made me see Michael Bay in a little different light. His oeuvre is, by and large, terrible (although Bad Boys wasn't bad). I got it. But if he's writing fat checks to Criterion to restore & release awesome old films, I can't say too many bad things.
I've seen Bad Boys, The Rock and Pearl Harbour (Josh, where are you?). None in theatres.
I'm done with Mr. Bay.
It's so hard for me to completely rip him apart, because I have been entertained by some of his movies. The Bad Boys films were fun, I enjoyed Transformers 1 & 3, and I haven't seen it in a long time, but I remember liking The Rock. Pain & Gain seems like a Bad Boys throwback. I'm with those who could have sworn he's directed more, but I guess he has protoges. Movies like Con-Air (worst movie ever) and Gone in 60 Seconds have his stamp all over them.
I haven't seen Armageddon, but my spinning instructor keeps using "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" to smooth our pulses. Does it count?
I've only seen three (The Rock, Armageddon, and The Island), and none of them in theaters. I liked The Island the best, but that was mostly because of Ewan and Scarlett. Pain and Gain will likely be the first film of his I've seen in theaters (I really don't want to, but I'm only human, and Marky Mark and The Rock are two of my biggest male action star crushes. Had Vin Diesel been in it, I would be there at midnight opening day). When it comes to dumb, bombastic blockbusters, I guess I'm more of a Roland Emmerich/Dean Devlin kind of guy.
I think I've seen...two...all the way through. Transformers 1 (decent, if a bit bloated) and Transformers 2. The only other ones I want to see are: The Rock, The Island and this.
The Rock is the only one I didn't see in theaters. And The Island is one of my favorites. Bad Boys II and Transformers II are on my large "when will this ever fucking end"-list of theatrical experiences, that only yesterday was 'enriched' with The Last Exorcism Part II (Which is more than an hour shorter than those Bay-films).
"Have any Michael Bay fans seen a film by Michael Haneke, Jane Campion or Lars von Trier?"
Ahh yes, I am proudly Michael Bay big fan and certainly I've seen and loved their films.
And I've seen classics from "German expressionism", "Soviet montage", Keaton & Chaplin comedy in 20s to realism films like Dardenne bros in nowadays, from French auteurs to taiwan-chinese filmmakers's works. Is that REALLY weird?
cinematic ignorance of Bay fans? Ahh it might be bullshit :)
I've only seen The Rock, which was at the theater, and at the time I thought it was great popcorn entertainment with a great old-style movie star turn by Mr. Connery. But these other titles really don't interest me. But I've heard good things about Bad Boys.
I liked BAD BOYS at the time, but distinctly remember hating ARMAGEDDON, which as a 13-year-old was probably a good sign of things to come. THE ROCK is good for what it is, I guess and I do admit to liking THE ISLAND most of all (fittingly his biggest flop).
I've been saying that Bay is a auteur for years, even when I hate his movies, and also, he knows how to direct the technical stuff, obviously he lacks in narrative, sensibility and taste for find good scripts, but this doesn't stop him from doing his thing, he has trademarks as identifying as those of Tarantino or Malick.
I've seen all of them except "The Rock" and I've seen all of them in theaters except "The Rock" and "Bad Boys". Bad Boys and Armageddon I enjoyed the most, Pearl Harbor was okay and Bad Boys II was a decent hour and a half film stretched out to a tedious two and a half hour film. After those films, I've despised the rest of his work (with The Island and Transformers 2 or 3 being his worst films). Overall, he has a certain pull that keeps getting me back into theaters but I don't consider Bay a good filmmaker.
To my credit, I also haven't paid to see a Michael Bay film since Bad Boys 2 and I have no intentions of breaking that streak with Pain and Gain.
I started "Pearl Harbor" but couldn't finish it.
I saw "Transformers" but it wavered between laughably bad and just plain hard to watch. I remember telling all of my coworkers why I disliked it so much. They laughed and agreed with me, but then they all went and saw the sequel on the opening night anyway. I don't know -- maybe people just enjoy how bad it is???
I actually enjoyed The Island, and was surprised it was/is seen as such a terrible movie. Besides that, I have only seen the first two Transformers. The first was enjoyable though not great, but the second was one of the worst movies I've ever seen. So I have no intention of seeing Pain and Gain.
Both Bad Boys, the first Transformers, and The Rock, which was by far the best out of those titles. But overall his movies don't do anything for me. I remember being dragged to watch Transformers and being bored out of my mind; must a whole lotta metal clanging together for two hours.
And I'm surprised no one has posted these yet:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeSUuj98Rx0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7ssUivM-eM
Four ("The Rock", "Armageddon", and the first two "Transformer" films). I suspect his films simply work better on the big screen - I saw "Transformers 3" on DVD and was massively underwhelmed by the eye candy, which is almost the only reason to go see a Bay film.
Given the casting, was there no interest in calling his new one "The Rock 2" ?
I've only seen The Rock and Armageddon.