There are Seven Shots of Julianne Moore in the Seventh Son Trailer. Just Saying.
Saturday, July 13, 2013 at 11:00AM I don't have the heart to do a "yes no maybe so" on the trailer for The Seventh Son, the latest fantasy epic would be franchise (there are more of them each month) because the movie has been moved to January. But it does co-star Julianne Moore as the sorceress Mother Malkin and the trailer does use her voiceover in a very Queen-Ravenna-in-Snow-White-and-Huntsman-trailer kind of way. So there's that.
Coincidentally (?) there are seven shots of our goddess in the trailer.
THE SEVEN SHOTS
1. "Did you miss me?".... Mother Malkin materialize from the air and slinks towards Jeff Bridges Vocal Affectation. Oh Juli, in theory we always miss you but since you are one of the hardest working women in showbiz we seldom have to.
2. Woman in chains. But there's no holding magic bitches down.
3. Speaking of Magic Bitches... This shot was so reminiscent of Charlize Theron's Queen Ravenna -- who also loved feathered collars, seductive doomsday voiceovers, and shattering CGI objects in slow motion -- that I instantly felt bad for Juli because competing with that won't be easy. On the subject of actresses aging into demonic sorceress roles (see also: Pfeiffer, Weaver, Huston, Theron, etcetera) I should probably damn Hollywood for both ageism and sexism -- what do they have against the foxiest bitches in the world that they gotta turn them into demonic succubi and suggest that it's only BLACK MAGIC that's still giving you a boner all these years later.
4. Come to me. Yes, mamma!
5. Lip Acting!
6. 80s Homage. This is my single favorite shot in the trailer. Julianne Moore doing her best Daryl Hannah in Blade Runner and/or Annie Lennox Homage...
7. Maleficent Wannabe. Mother Malkin is the dragon, too, right? In the closing money shot of the trailer she roars at Jeff Bridges Vocal Affectations. Okay, I cheated a little to get to seven. I haven't read the books but the trailer keeps visually suggesting that Mother Malkin shapeshifts into the dragon on multiple occasions. In which case this shot is also of Julianne.
Oh and here is the trailer if you haven't yet seen it and need to see Julianne Moore and Jeff Bridges Vocal Affectaions in motion. Warning: This trailer may also induce sympathy for handsome blank Ben Barnes who will probably not register at all with those two movie stars camping it up while sharing his frames.
Reader Comments (8)
This does'nt look so awful as many on the web are saying.
In Italy will be released on October 24 and I will see it, of course, just for one reason.
Guess what.
The best defense of "he's too saintly accusation"
"The film does not portray Oscar as some kind of saint. That’s just patently false. There’s an uncomfortable feeling I get when I read reviews that criticize the movie in this way. Its almost as if they’re saying that Oscar Grant shouldn’t be portrayed in a positive light. What does he have to do, stab somebody, beat up a hooker and curse at his daughter so these writers could feel better about him dying at the end? So they could say he had it coming? The only other reason I could think of for their criticisms is that because Oscar’s case is politically and racially charged, the film can easily be accused of taking a side on a complicated issue. Instead, it should be concerned with being even handed and presenting things in a neutral fashion. The problem with that is that Fruitvale Station is NOT, I repeat, NOT a political film. We’re not watching this film to work through the complicated questions about race relations and the relationship between the police and minorities. The goal of the movie is to remind us that this was a person with feelings, dreams and goals. A young man who had people who cared about him and who felt devastated when he was taken from them. The political machine and the media cycle takes the victims of tragedies like this, chews them up and spits them out until they resemble a tool that public officials and “news” men can use to fashion an argument. Its dehumanizing and sickening. Movies like this allow the humanity back in, taking the tragedy away from politics and the media and handing it back to the people who were victimized.
As far as portraying him in an overly positive light, I just don’t accept that argument. We’re talking about a person, and I don’t know about you, but in my book people are positive until proven negative. Human beings, like all other creatures, are beautiful. Complex, to be sure, but beautiful. The Oscar Grant I saw in this movie was complex, flawed even. But he was a beautiful creature, just as he should be."-Chris
Between your shots #2 and #3, there's actually another shot that you missed of Juli raising her claws in a dominatrix-leather crucifixion pose. So you didn't need to cheat to get to seven ;)
I guess Moore has got bills to pay.....
I wish she made better selections of her movies ... she is so good and she takes anything that seems to come along... have watched a couple on ON DEMAND ... they come out as they hit theaters or sometimes before... these movies were so forgettable, I cannot even remember their names.
Sigh.
In addition to how bad the movie looks, there's how bad that preview is. Could they POSSIBLY cut any more hyperkinetically?
Oh, gosh, exactly two women; a seductive sorceress and a seductive innocent, both existing to give the men something to do. How novel.
Doesn't look any worse that most of the crap out there and it does have Mr. Bridges. I don't know, I would watch it on DVD.