Golden Globe Predix? This Post Will Disintegrate In Five Hours

Wanna know something funny? I had totally forgotten who won the Golden Globes last year. I mean, I thought "I'll illustrate this prediction post with a win from last year!" and then I thought. But who? Now I know mainstream media likes to joke that people forget who won the Oscar in which year almost instantaneously but I don't find this to be true of Oscar geeks. I never forget ... though an occassional nomination will surprise me by vanishing from my memory banks only to serve as humble pie later when a quiz or trivia situation crops up (Nick Nolte in Warrior? I curse you!)

So here is a photographic reminder of last year's winners in case you also forgot...

Last Year's Champs most of whom went on to Oscar & Emmy wins

Now back to the present tense.

Disclaimer: I am completely terrible at predicting the Golden Globes -- if you challenge me you will undoubtedly trounce me! -- but I absolutely love The Hollywood Foreign Press Association for this willful refusal to tow the line. Oh sure they sometimes will gladly use their televised moments to predict the Oscars or influence the Emmys but you never know when they might just go their own way for the helluva it ... which is why they're better than many of the more "serious" voting bodies (i.e., and quite sadly, most critics groups who seem hellbent on predicting Oscar 100% of the time though their mission statements should tell you'd they do otherwise)

100% accurate predictions after the jump...

last year's best meme

I PREDICT THAT...

• ...I will get drunk
• ... I will be upset that I wasn't there; just bought my first tux! (Yes, I'm going to the CCMAs)
• ...you will follow me on twitter.
• ... that it will be great fun discovering which celebrity will inspire the best memes on twitter. I mean who knew it was going to be grumpy Tommy Lee Jones last year, you know? 
• ... that Jose will freak out about whatever Cate Blanchett is wearing
• ...that the internet will freak about whatever Jennifer Lawrence is anything
• ...the best actress musical or comedy presentation will not be as funny as last year's "get out of heeeere" madness
• ...but that Tina Fey and Amy Poehler will more than make up for it with another night of hilarity
• ...we will not see anything as singularly crazy as Jodie Foster's Cecil B DeMille speech
• ...but we will spend the whole night hoping for it anyway

Less accurate predictions now...

THE WINNERS WILL BE... 

I predict American Hustle leads the Globes tonight with 4 wins

• Best Picture Drama 12 Years a Slave (spoiler: Gravity)
• Best Picture Comedy or Musical American Hustle (spoiler: Burlesque... oh, wait. Nope, it's gonna be American Hustle. Easiest pick of the night) 
• Best Director Alfonso Cuaron, Gravity (spoiler: McQueen 12 Years)
• Best Actress Drama Cate Blanchett (spoiler: Emma Thompson)
• Best Actor Drama Matthew McConaughey (spoiler: i can't see it)
• Best Actress Comedy or Musical Amy Adams, American Hustle (spoiler: i can't see it)
• Best Actor Comedy or Musical Leonardo DiCaprio, Wolf of Wall Street (spoiler: The safe bet is Bruce Dern for Nebraska but I'm guessing Leo just because there's usually one big surprise at the Globes)
• Best Supporting Actress Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle
• Best Supporting Actor Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club (spoiler: i can't see it)
• Best Foreign Film Blue is the Warmest Color 
• Best Animated Feature Frozen
• Best Screenplay American Hustle (spoiler: 12 Years a Slave or Nebraska)
• Best Original Score Gravity (spoiler: 12 Years a Slave)
• Best Original Song Frozen (spoiler: Inside Llewyn Davis)
• TV Drama Breaking Bad (spoiler: The Good Wife)
• TV Comedy Girls (spoiler: Modern Family)
• Best Actress Drama TV Kerry Washington... for whatever reason this is the TV prediction I'm most confident about but if not let's say Tatiana Maslany because they like fresh blood
• Best Actor Drama TV Bryan Cranston (spoiler: Kevin Spacey)
• Best Actress Comedy TV Julia Louis Dreyfus (spoiler: Amy Poehler)
• Best Actor Comedy TV Jim Parsons (spoiler: anyone)
• Best Miniseries or Movie Behind the Candelabra (spoiler: Top of the Lake)
• Best Actress in a Miniseries/Movie TV Jessica Lange (spoiler: Helena Bonham Carter)
• Best Actor in Miniseries/Movie TV Michael Douglas (spoiler: Idris Elba)
• Best Supporting Actress, TV Sofia Vergara (spoiler: Hayden Panettiere)
• Best Supporting Actor, TV Aaron Paul (spoiler: Josh Charles)

Any predictions? Which possible "surprise" do you think is most likely tonight?  

Comments

[Philip H.]

I'm really hoping Lupita takes it and not JLaw.

[RobMiles]

Don't really care about the Film wins, but I want Michael Douglas and Helena Bonham Carter to win.

[Ryan T.]

I honestly have no idea who will will Best TV Actress Drama. Any of them can win it and I wouldn't be surprised. The TV Supporting categories are also perplexing to me to predict.

[alperb]

Drama
Cate Blanchett (goddess)
Chiwetel Ejifor

Comedy
Amy Adams
Bruce Dern

Supporting
Jared Leto
Lupito Nyong'o or Jennifer Lawrence.

[3rtful]

You have no faith in Ejiofor. His chances increased when the BAFTA/British voting bloc shunned Dallas Buyers Club outright. Also, if 12 Years is to lose Picture and Director--Ejiofor becomes Frances McDormand in Fargo--the highest honor for the film is a win in the lead acting category.

[paco.]

Ay, I really hope Lupita gets it, I like JLaw but I just want Lupita to win everything because she deserves it.

[forever1267]

We might actually see an Amy Adams Acceptance Speech. I wonder if she gets in for Oscar opposite 4 previous winners that that will add some drama to the category.

Rooring desperately without much hope for DiCaprio and Delpy, and that Douglas and Damon can split Best TV Miniseries Actor.

[Jamie]

I saw August: OC this weekend. Cannot see how Adams even compared to the ground breaking performance by Streep...

[Yavor]

You think Matthew McConaughey is more of a lock than Blanchett? Interesting.

[Nathanael]

Totally agreed.

[Whodunnit]

Should Win:
12 Years a Slave and American Hustle
Cate Blanchett and Matthew McConaughey
Amy Adams and Leonardo di Caprio
Daniel Brühl and Lupito Nyong'o
TV: As long as The Good Wife is honored for an exceptional fifth season

Will win:
Gravity and American Hustle
Cate Blanchett and Chiwetel Ejifor
Meryl Streep and Leonardo di Caprio
Jared Leto and Jennifer Lawrence

[CMG]

Best Picture Drama 12 Years a Slave (spoiler: Gravity)

Best Picture Comedy or Musical American Hustle (spoiler: Nebraska)

Best Director Alfonso Cuaron, Gravity (spoiler: McQueen, 12 Years a Slave)

Best Actress Drama Cate Blanchett (spoiler: Sandra Bullock)

Best Actor Drama Chiwitel Ejiofor (spoiler: Matthew McConaughey)

Best Actress Comedy or Musical Amy Adams, American Hustle (spoiler: i can't see it)

Best Actor Comedy or Musical Leonardo DiCaprio, Wolf of Wall Street (spoiler: Bruce Dern and only because Laura was asked to present)

Best Supporting Actress Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle (spoiler: Sally Hawkins, I mean they let her win before)

Best Supporting Actor Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club (spoiler: Bradley Cooper)

Best Foreign Film The Past (spoiler: Blue is the Warmest Color or The Great Beauty)

Best Animated Feature Frozen (spoiler: Despicable Me 2)

Best Screenplay American Hustle (spoiler: 12 Years a Slave)

Best Original Score Gravity (spoiler: 12 Years a Slave)

Best Original Song Frozen (spoiler: Inside Llewyn Davis)

TV Drama Breaking Bad (spoiler: House of Cards)

TV Comedy Girls (spoiler: Modern Family)

Best Actress Drama TV Kerry Washington (spoiler: Robin Wright)

Best Actor Drama TV Bryan Cranston (spoiler: Kevin Spacey or James Spader)

Best Actress Comedy TV Julia Louis Dreyfus (spoiler: Amy Poehler)

Best Actor Comedy TV Michael J. Fox (spoiler: Jim Parsons)

Best Miniseries or Movie Behind the Candelabra (spoiler: Top of the Lake)

Best Actress in a Miniseries/Movie TV Jessica Lange (spoiler: Helena Bonham Carter)

Best Actor in Miniseries/Movie TV Michael Douglas (spoiler: Matt Damon)

Best Supporting Actress, TV Sofia Vergara (spoiler: Monica Potter... but seriously WTF this nomination list, you had the whole OITNB ensemble AND Anna Gunn to choose)

Best Supporting Actor, TV Aaron Paul (spoiler: Rob Lowe)

[marcelo]

having just seen "enough said", can't please JLD win best actress in a comedy movie? (I mean, how boring will amy adams' speech be)

[Paul Outlaw]

The surprise will be in supporting actor and I still can't bring myself to type the name, I'm just too superstitious.

[Peggy Sue]

I also bet on Chiwetel.

All I really want tonight is:
a) Nick Davis live-blogging the whole thing.
b) Allison Janney getting a last minute nomination (and win) for Masters of Sex.

[Sean C.]

Picture (Drama): Gravity
Picture (Comedy/Musical): American Hustle
Best Director: Alfonso Cuaron
Actor (Drama): Chiwetel Ejiofor
Actor (Comedy/Musical): Leonardo DiCaprio
Actress (Drama): Cate Blanchett
Actress (Comedy/Musical): Amy Adams
Supporting Actor: Jared Leto
Supporting Actress: Jennifer Lawrence
Screenplay: American Hustle
Animated Feature: Frozen
Foreign Feature: Blue is the Warmest Colour
Original Song: Frozen
Original Score: Gravity

[D]

No one should win over Meryl Streep for August: Osage County! That performance was simply amazing!

[Mike]

MERYL STREEP!!! don't know why or how Amy Adams could even get close to this her performance in August: Osage County! Can everyone please get off the American Hustle train?? Meryl Streep and Julia Roberts' performance was eons better than Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence!!!