Acceptance Speech Nerdgasm & Oscar Party Tiebreakers
Thursday, February 20, 2014 at 12:00PM 
who will be in a group photo THIS year? And will they look as much like the top of a wedding cake as this quartet did?What will Matthew McConaughey say first after he wins the Oscar? I mean after "all right all right all right". Statistics suggest that he'll either thank the Academy or launch right into the Leto or Vallée appreciation. (Or maybe DiCaprio or Dern will win in a shocking upset)
Jennifer Lawrence started her speech at the last Oscars with "This is nuts" and if she wins again over Lupita 'this is nuts' won't even begin to describe it. If you want a fun tiebreaker for your Oscar party prediction pool, go with the speeches!
Four Tie-Breaker Questions:
1 "Who will forget a totally key person?"
(JLaw forgot her director last year!)
2 "Which of the acting winners will thank the most people by name?"
(Hathaway rattled off 23 names last year)
3 "Will anyone thank God?" Other than their God
(i.e. the director)
4 "How many of the four acting winners will get a standing ovation?"
(this is actually harder to predict than you'd think because sometimes who gets one and who doesn't is confusing when you're in the living room and not in the Kodak)
Over at Slate I've updated my massive acceptance speech analysis project. Even if you've seen it before, look again because I die for those interactive graphics they include. They are so fun to play with and I'm super proud of this now annual tradition.
Reader Comments (9)
1. I think Jared Leto will probably forget a key person. I chalk a lot of his semi tone deaf speech at the Globes to the fact that he doesn't act very often, so he's not used to talking about his work, let alone accepting trophies for it. Maybe that's generous. I've detected more nervousness at these award shows from Leto than he's letting on.
2. Matthew McConaughey will thank the most people off by names, I suspect. I think he's going to be like Penelope Cruz since his career started off in such a different place than it is now. I expect one of those career retrospective, reflective speeches. And I want that. I want Jodie name dropped. I want Sandra name dropped. Take it all the way back to Zellweger, even though they like to pretend that movie didn't happen.
3. I don't see any of these winners thanking God. But if anyone would...maybe Jared?
4. I think Lupita will get a standing ovation. Whether or not she goes on to have the career that she deserves and whether or not there are gross privilege guilt reasons tied into said standing ovation, I think you can't ignore what it means for a black actress--a non-American black actress who's not light-skinned with processed hair--to get this kind of affirmation, in this culture, with these beauty standards that we attach to women, for this performance in this film...all roads lead to standing ovation in my mind.
*I'll also add, with an asterisk, that if Leo wins (I think he stands a chance) he'll probably get a standing ovation as well.
Only African-American winners thank God. So no one will be thanking him this year because there are no African-Americans in the running.
If anyone DESERVES a standing ovation it's without a doubt Cate Blanchett...but Nathaniel right the criteria for a standing ovation is so arbitrary and hard to predict...Octavia Spencer gets one yet Helen Mirren doesn't?
I really hope J Law doesn't win this year. And I think it's obvious she doesn't either. From her embarrassed Golden Globe speech, to little campaigning, to being a no show at BAFTA, she's basically done everything except set fire to the Dolby.
4. Surprising (and surprised) winner Sally Hawkins will get the standing ovation.
Jennifer Lawrence didn't seem embarrassed at the GG's...nervous maybe, but not embarrassed. As for Lawrence not attending the Academy luncheon or BAFTA's, she has been filming Mockingjay as well as having done reshoots for X-Men DOFP (she left Montreal on Monday, apparently).
Jennifer Lawrence was terrific in American Hustle but perhaps after last years grinde for Best Actress she doesn't need this award.
It's just a curiosity. How does the standing ovation work? Is it like one person in the front or second row (usually big stars or nominees) decides to stand up and then the two sitting beside him/her follow and then it spreads like fire and before you knew it everyone is standing up because everyone else is? Sometimes I feel like some of the people in the crowd were not really enthusiastic when they stand up and looks like they just did so because everyone else is and it would be obvious for a front row big star not to. I swear I'm not talking about Angelina Jolie (OK, fine, I am talking about her, LOL). What if you are the first to stand up because you really respect the winner but nobody follows?
PJ -- that's kind of how standing ovations always work really. it takes someone to start it. here in NYC on broadway i think people in front of you stand up you still want to be able to see the stars ;)
Speaking of standing ovations, I think Cher got one of the warmest ever although my favorite is definitely Susan Sarandon.
cate might possibly 'forget' to thank her director.
2 performances unseen (lawrence and squibb), I'm really tired of "lupita is the only possible winner!". she's far from it.