The Likeliest Culprits in The Pearl Dress Thievery
Friday, February 27, 2015 at 8:30AM 
Previously in Oscar Fashion Discussions
- Reader Poll Supporting plus Viola, Jessica, Scarlett
- Reader Poll Actress plus Kidman, Blanchett, Robbie
...and just when y'all thought we were done talking Oscar night fashions.
As you may have heard that amazing pearl dress worn by Lupita Nyong'o was stolen from her hotel room. My first thought was "but where could you even wear that? Everyone will know and you're not going to look as good as Lupita anyway!" but then a more basic bitch realization: oh right, THOUSANDS of pearls. Supposedly 6,000 of them in all and unmarked and the dress is worth something like $150,000. Or, probably more than Lupita was paid for co-starring in 12 Years a Slave back before she was a household name, Oscar winner and instant fashion icon.
Theories abound but here are TFE's three best guesses as to the culprit.
01. THAT CREEPER who was lurking around the actresses all night. Suspicious!*
02 THOROUGHLY MODERN MILLIE. Consider the facts: She WAS at the Dolby that night. She IS cultivating a "Modern" bad girl image. She DOES have a thing for pearls.
03 URSULA. Her rep declares the allegations unfounded and insulting. "On the whole she's been a saint."
*Scarlett Johansson is now a character witness so it looks like he's off the hook.
Reader Comments (13)
Brian de Palma's Femme Fatale 2
Lindsay Lohan is frantically searching for an alibi as we speak.
Maybe Millie got tired of Trevor Grayden's empty promises of jewelry.
My money would be on Drop Dead Gorgeous' Rebecca Ann Leeman, who has a history of stealing rivals' dresses, if, you know, the swan hadn't ate that baby, poor thing.
Eddie Redmayne needed a special dress for the third act of THE DANISH GIRL.
I like to think it's some elaborate fraud and Lupita has quietly stashed the dress away. She'll put it on once a year in the lower recesses of her home and just marvel at herself in the mirror while gleefully laughing at how she pulled off the heist.
I try to suppress my basic bitch qualities but if I wore a $150,000 dress made of pearls, you COULD NOT talk to me. You would have to get on my level.
Perhaps Calvin owed a debt to someone.............
Brevity -- PLAUSIBLE!
derreck -- hee. "the lower recesses of her home"
It's clearly June Squibb plotting her Oscar revenge.
Return of the Bling Ring!
jared leto
So.............dress has been found. Thieves popped a couple of pearls, tried to sell them and were told they were fake. LOL
The thief has been identified......Oyster de la Renta.