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Monday
Jan182016

Beauty vs Beast: Stabbin' in the Woods

Jason from MNPP here with this week's round of piping hot "Beauty vs Beast" action -- I find myself in a strange position this awards season. Alejandro González Iñárritu, a director whose films have time and time again made my skin crawl thanks to their blowsy self-regard, has gone and made a movie that I don't entirely loathe? I don't know that I can be much more open-hearted towards The Revenant than that, but there are big, short, spot-lit movies gunning for Best Picture that I find oodles more offensive than this silly thing. Heck if the bad taste of Birdman hadn't poisoned the well last year I might, dare I say, be even slightly less ambivilent. (But it did, it did, it did poison the well. Damn you, Birdman.) But which uglied up tough guy carved out a horse carcass in your heart?

PREVIOUSLY Well I guess it's for the best that we did Todd Haynes' Carol last week before the Oscar nominations, because now that it's been snubbed for Best Picture and Director it will never be heard from again. (Kidding, people, put down the pitchforks.) While some of you admitted to slightly less-than-lesbian longings for those sturdy Harge (Kyle Chandler) shoulders, it was Sarah Paulson's performance as Carol's salty best friend Abby that you ultimately locked arms with. Said Paul Outlaw:

"Sorry, Harge. I can't help you with this."

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Reader Comments (9)

I decline to vote, I find both characters guilty of stupidity and hammy acting.

January 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLadyEdith

I love Tom Hardy in general.

I hate Tom Hardy in The Revenant and don't know how he got an Oscar nomination apart from di Caprio's ability to bring supporting men to Oscar nomination glory. Use your powers more for Michael Shannon type performances, Leo!

January 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterFlickah

i'm voting for Hardy because at least he isn't taking the movie too seriously (and good god someone needed to puncture its self-important grandiosity a little)

but yeah it's a moustache-twirling ham job... well... except that he doesn't have a moustache so much as weirdly self groomed clumps of hair all over the place.

January 18, 2016 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

Heh heh, thanks for the quote, Jason.

I just saw The Revenant this morning. Random thoughts: Naomi Watts in The Impossible + Tom Hanks in Cast Away + Liam Neeson in The Grey = Leo's Hugh Glass...this is Dances With Wolves 2016...damn, this is well shot...I need side-by-side gifs of wounded Leo crawling out of the grave and drugged Leo "walking" to his car in The Wolf of Wall Street...survival porn...Hardy is like a Brando/Streep/Oldman hybrid...steel yourself, this is going to win Best Picture and Best Actor...D. Gleeson > A. Vikander...I'm actually not minding the fact that Leo will win for this performance (and his stans will finally stfu)...

I voted Team Glass. Fitzgerald is such a dick.

January 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterPaul Outlaw

Paul -- as people have begun pointing out to me online the Leo stans will not shut up once he wins. They'll just be on to that career has definitely earned 2 OSCARS. you know?

January 18, 2016 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

I'm voting Fitzgerald because yes it's Big but Christ at least Hardy offers us a performance that's interesting because of the performance itself instead of how much he's Suffering, and once Glass is on his own Hardy was only thing that got me through the ordeal of The Revenant.

January 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNick T

Nat: yeah, but I can dream, can't I?

January 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterPaul Outlaw

Am I the only one who thinks Tom Hardy:The Revenant = Renee Zellweger:Cold Mountain?

But Team Glass for showing that nothing makes you cling to life more than pure HATRED.

January 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDerreck.

Derreck: He'd have to have been nominated for Locke for that, if you know what I mean.

January 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterPaul Outlaw
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