YNMS: Ben-Hur's Wild Apocalypse for the King
Monday, March 21, 2016 at 2:44PM 
So many trailers have recently emerged that we can't give them all full Yes No Maybe So treatment ... so let's collect them all in one place after the jump with a single decision on each.
We'll start with what is sure to be a misbegotten thickheaded testosterone fueled retelling of an Oscar winning classic. Even Morgan Freeman in dreadlocks can't make it look bearable...
BEN-HUR
Sweet Baby Jesus, No! They say you can always tell what time period any period piece is filmed in because it always gives the now away. This could not be any more obnoxiously early 21st century if it tried. It looks more like a rip off of 300 than a remake of a religious epic.
Yes. I will get far more enjoyment staring at photos of Stephen Boyd and his homo subtext and miraculously deep cleft chin as Messala for the entire running time of the 2016 movie. I ♥️ Stephen Boyd in Ben-Hur (1959) SO. MUCH.
THE WILD LIFE
No. If you want to die while watching a trailer it's not a good sign for surviving a full 90 minutes.
HIGH-RISE
Yes. On account of Tom Hiddleston. But I did not actually watch this trailer. Never watch trailers to thrillers if you're spoiler averse because they can't help themselves with giving too much a way.
X-MEN APOCALYPSE (TRAILER #2)
Yes. I will be there but I can't promise I'll enjoy it. X-Completist here. I blame my childhood. Still, what I wouldn't give to see the X-Men done as well as they've done The Avengers. (sigh) Yes X2 was a great superhero movie but it was still not really The Uncanny X-Men. The series has never felt much like the comics in the way the Marvel Studio movies always feel like the genuine article in a big screen adventure.
A HOLOGRAM FOR THE KING
Maybe so Leaning Yes. Tom Hanks has been outdoing himself lately but this looks potentially like a complete tonal mess -- why is he shouting Talking Heads lyrics at the beginning? But it features the wonderful Sarita Choudhury and we always like to look at her so that helps with the yes lean. Has anyone read the Dave Eggers novel this is based on?
THE LEGEND OF TARZAN (TRAILER #2)
Yes. But only due to a general weakness (in the knees) for Tarzan movies. BUT I repeat ∞ "why is Tarzan wearing pants?" This is unnatural, nay, deviant behavior for a Lord of the Apes.
Other New Trailers Recently Discussed: Nice Guys, Captain America Civil War, Florence Foster Jenkins, Ghostbusters, and Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children.
Reader Comments (11)
Why is he shouting Talking Heads lyrics at the beginning? 80s Song fantasy sequences that ALSO look to be staged like advertisements (seriously, I half expected him to suddenly go "You got here because of Teamocil" based on how that was staged) would be my guess.
Not that it warrants another remake, but we should at least remember that the most famous and Oscar-anointed "Ben-Hur" was itself a remake.
@ Jonathan
Yes, that and the Tarzan pants have been addressed in previous comments sections. ;-)
I'm not liking the "300" tones for this latest Ben Hur remake. Morgan Freeman's dreadlocks are throwing me a bit as well.
"A Hologram for a King" has piqued my curiousity, and Tom Hanks has been delivering some great work recently - so I'm a yes.
"Tonal mess" were the exact words I thought before I read your identical take. I am always warmly inclined towards Hanks but this just looks like a trainwreck.
Tarzan no. Wild Thingy no. Ben Hur, DEAR GOD NO.
X-Men I'm forced to say yes because it's X-Men. I have no choice.
High Rise yes.
The "Ben Hur"remake seems aimed at the "300" action crowd.
I'm confused why Tom Hiddleston is an automatic "Yes" for anyone. The only time I've liked him is in Joanna Hogg's films. He's fine, I guess, in the first Thor. Otherwise, I kind of count on him to completely tank much-anticipated arthouse films (as in Only Lovers Left Alive and The Deep Blue Sea-awful in both).
Alas, High-Rise is a bit of a mess. Great production and costume design, though.
I didn't bother to watch The Wild Life or Hologram trailers, so I have no comment on those. As for the rest...
Ben-Hur: NO. Doesn't look compelling in any particular way.
X-Men: Apocalypse: Absolutely YES. None of the trailers have been home runs so far but I've really enjoyed all of Singer's X-Men films and First Class grew on me quite a bit, so I have faith that this will be in step with those.
High-Rise: MAYBE. It kind of looks interesting but it also looks like something I'd be perfectly happy watching on HBO in a year and a half.
The Legend Of Tarzan: MAYBE to YES. I've never given much of a shit about Tarzan and Waltz's bad guy act is played out now. In saying that, the trailer wasn't too bad and it has Margot Robbie in it. I'm torn.
Messala's "homo subtext" in Ben-Hur was William Wyler's idea. He discussed it with Stephen Boyd so that he'd play Messala as being in love with Ben-Hur, but he urged him not to tell a word to Charlton Heston, who would've been decidedly opposed to the idea!
New Apocalypse trailer was pretty aces, so YES. High-Rise is a maybe, reviews were mixed. Tarzan, eh...