Beauty vs Beast: Ice & Ivy
Monday, August 29, 2016 at 3:30PM Jason from MNPP here on the occasion of Joel Schumacher's 77th birthday wondering if I'm the only one who feels like his 1997 superhero flop Batman & Robin ought to be a camp classic as revered as Showgirls... or at least Valley of the Dolls. I think the fact that the movie is actively trying to be camp, but failing, throws people off... but it only makes me love it more. It's so... queer. In all the senses. Maybe it's just that Zack Snyder's endless reign of self-seriousness has made this goofy trainwreck seem more endearing, but I manage to quote this movie far more than might be sane, and if it's ever on TV I get sucked into its dopey dreadfulness every time. The same will never be true of Batman v Superman, I'm afraid. (Unless it's Holly Hunter's scenes we're talking about, of course.)
PREVIOUSLY True Story: I was at a wedding this past weekend and they gave out Jordan Almonds! Anyway last week we forced you to take sides in the Bridesmaids battle of the Century, and I am so so proud of y'all that you went with Kristen Wiig's Annie (who'd never let a Jordan Almond get her down) to the tune of 54% -- that's meant as no knock on the brilliantly funny Rose Byrne but, well, I'll let Suzanne explain:
"I know people love Rose Byrne, but Annie is such a great character. It felt like a revolutionary political act in 2011 to make a film that focused on a female protagonist who was depressed because her business failed and she was broke."
Reader Comments (21)
This choice was a no brainer for me because...
https://www.instagram.com/p/rsBj6PiogR/?taken-by=nathaniel_tfe
Love that outfit, Nathaniel. You look amazing.
Showgirls is a masterpiece. This thing is just bad.
Gene Wilder has died at 83,The 1 and only Willy Wonka
As a queer little Earth child mixing potions in the garden, Poison Ivy really spoke to me. Years later, discovering Uma was a fellow Taurus, child of Venus, made worlds of sense to me. I was in green and cherry-red love.
Honestly, Batman & Robin is just one of the worst films ever that should be a reminder of how not to do a Batman movie.
Uma is the only one to understand what kind of movie she is in. Arnold tries too hard and Alicia and George don't try at all but she is just right.
Yeah, Arnold helped sink this movie more than anything - his specific range and star image really create an imbalance.
This movie is really bad, but i think only Mr Freeze is absurdly bad, whereas everything else is just boring bad. So he's my choice.
Ugh. Neither.
These two are the OG Blue Ivy. Full disclosure: I was unironically obsessed with BATMAN AND ROBIN and had every action figure they made. Fake Uma looked nothing like real Uma.
Nathaniel - YASBITCHYAS
This film is bad in nearly every way a movie can be bad, but Uma's camp would've been fun as hell even if the movie around her wasn't a total mess. This film is a horrible calling card for her, but I wish her career was more substantive nowadays.
Paul Outlaw: Agreed. If you were to cast, based on persona, the Batman villains (even ones who didn't exist in the 40s) as 40s actors? These are my picks for the 40s versions of the best modern takes on Batman villains, for a non-serial studio production in that time frame.
Joker: Danny Kaye
Penguin: Penguin has only ONCE been done really "right" (thank you Paul Dini), with most adaptations doing some version of the "he has the dress sense, but couldn't really interact with high society" angle (including Burgess Meredith's), in spite of "He can, but they don't want him to" having a little more nuance and texture to it. So...Cary Grant in a fat suit.
Catwoman: Maureen O'Hara.
Riddler: Burt Lancaster.
Two-Face: James Stewart.
Poison Ivy: Is there any question? Barbara Stanwyck would have KILLED IT.
Mister Freeze: Orson Welles.
And as Batman himself? Tyrone Power. (This, basically impossible, film series runs for 5 films from 1948-1956. Joker and Penguin is one, Catwoman is two (1950), Riddler and Two-Face is three (1952), and Ivy and Freeze are back to back in 55 and 56.)
@ Volvagia
Series runs in the '40s (1942-?).
BATMAN/WAYNE: Franchot Tone
ROBIN/GRAYSON: Roddy McDowall
ALFRED: Reginald Denny
GORDON: Spencer Tracy
DENT/TWO-FACE: Henry Fonda
JOKER: James Stewart
RIDDLER: Mickey Rooney
PENGUIN: Sydney Greenstreet
CATWOMAN: Barbara Stanwyck
The right answer is always Uma. Those hair horns are everything. Only Scary Spice wore them better.
choog. what about me? I wore them pretty well too (they were a bitch to make, though)
My favorite Batman movie, precisely for the reasons you've expressed so beautifully. Wonderfully queer. Terribly fun...in a very literal sense.
And also the first (only?) Batman movie to really understand the importance of Alfred!
I actually LOVE Poison Ivy in the comics and esp. in the animated series. She was aces there.
But in *that* movie? No, just no.
I was obsessed with this movie because I was the appropriate gay age in 1997. My mom worked nights so my dad took us to Taco Bell almost EVERY night because they had the collectors cups and you had to collect all of the characters to win, and therefore I knew who all of the minor characters were (Julie Madison! Nora Fries! Dr. Jason ...whatever!) before even seeing the movie.
I also found Batman & Robin Monopoly in my mom's closet that year while snooping for Christmas presents. She wouldn't tell me if it was for me and my cousin. I screamed and swore. Imagine how hideous about myself I felt when I opened it on Christmas morning.
This film needs to be erased from history.
if you think of it as a batman film then yes, it's awful. but if you think of it was a spoof or throwback to the 60's, Adam West Batman, it's actually not a terrible movie. frankly it held my attention better than batman forever. I mean, think about it. Batman and Robin is a silly movie- but it's great at being silly.