Beauty vs Beast: The Bigger Boys
Monday, November 20, 2017 at 3:00PM 
Jason from MNPP here, ready to pop some peach champagne for the release of Luca Guadagnino's Call Me By Your Name, which finally hits theaters in New York and LA on Friday. The thing is, although I personally have already seen the film six times (if you've been to MNPP at any point in the past three months you're more than aware of my obsession but if you missed my first take on the movie out of NYFF it's one of the most meaningful pieces of writing I've ever done, says me), it seems that some of you have not seen the film six times yet. Since it's not in theaters yet, and all. So I probably can't devote this week's "Beauty vs Beast" to it then!
So we'll do the next best and look back at Luca's last movie, A Bigger Splash. When ABS came out we polled you about the film it's based on, La Piscine, but I figure enough of you have seen Luca's version by now. I'm pretty certain where you guys will fall when forced into Tilda Swinton's glamourous shoes to choose between the two men in her life, solid wall of Paul (Matthias Schoenaerts) and bearded blast of noise Harry (Ralph Fiennes), but I'm asking anyway...
PREVIOUSLY Oscar season is here but we devoted one last moment of silliness to Superhero Season by tackling Thor: Ragnarok's two actresses last week - Tessa Thomspon put up a valiant fight but... well, she was going against Cate Blanchett. Cate took 58% of your vote as bigger-than-Asgard-itself Hela; said chasm301:
"Do you really think that Cate Blanchett would lose a competition on this website? Her most gif-able performance outside of Carol (2015)"
Reader Comments (11)
Sorry but I have to go with Harry. Anyone who can get down to the Stones' "Emotional Rescue" like that is a dude I would want to fucking hang out with.
Tough one! But the game "shag, marry, or kill" seems especially apropos here.
Shag or kill (or rather, shag, then accidentally kill) Harry.
Marry Paul.
No poll exists where I would vote against the Schoenaerts.
my favorite actor of all time (fiennes) against one of my favorites husbands of all time (Schoenaerts).
I voted for Schoenaerts. 'Cause I need see his naked body every single day of my life, specially now in this terrible times.
I can't believe people are voting for bland Schoenaerts over brilliant, sexy Fiennes. Oh well, more for me.
Yo, Schoenaerts, I'm really happy for you, I'ma let you finish, but Fiennes had one of the best performances of 2015!!
Yes, Harry is more fun and more interesting than Paul (and Fiennes gives by far the better performance), but he's also INFINITELY more exhausting. I don't think I could stand to be around him more than a few hours. So I'm gonna have to vote for Paul, and the less clothes he wears, the better.
Harry. He always just lets it all hang out.
Ugh, Harry/Fiennes was one of my most loathed characters and performances of that year.
If Schoenharts is bland, humanity might as well end. Voted for him, but I also hated Guagadino's last two films.
I've known a few over the top "on" personalities like Fiennes' character in my life. And by the end of the movie, I wanted to kill him, too!