Thursday
Jul062017
Thoughts I Had... The "Geostorm" Trailer
Thursday, July 6, 2017 at 8:00PM Chris here. It's been a long time since we got a good old fashioned disaster flick, right? Luckily Geostorm is here to fill the silly void this fall.
The film stars Gerard Butler (as if you had to ask) in a world where satellites help ward off the perils of global warming. When the system gets hacked (or something, science is hard), Butler and crew is sent into space to investigate while Jim Sturgess is our hero on the ground. From the looks of the first trailer, there is a whole lot going on, from explosions to tornado armies to an Andy Garcia president. Naturally, I have some thoughts:
- I wish this was narrated by Aja's Princess Dizastah.
- Is the only Pandora station available in space the 60s rock station or do filmmakers just not have any musical imagination?
- I wonder if Gerard Butler gets tired of saving things.
- This is why I avoid the beach. Giant ice waves.
- Adepero Oduye alert! We need her in much larger roles than "woman who hangs head at awkward space meeting". Swap her into Butler's role and we'd be positively stoked!
- Every superhero movie for what's seemed like year involved some morbid global cataclysm, so at least they're going for some unself-serious fun here.
- [plane freezes mid-crash and shatters like ice] ... maybe not.
- Wait, it's space disaster and earth disaster and there's a president kidnapping heist? My neck hurts.
- Bonus points if you can name the last time Andy Garcia played a character that wasn't Andy Garcia.
- If you don't believe global warming exists, you should be denied a ticket to this.
Geostorm opens October 20. Your thoughts?
Reader Comments (18)
This looks fucking stupid. Plus, it's got Gerard Buttwad who's a fucking twat.
Irwin Allen would be proud!
Whenever I see this trailer, I'm always like "Huh, so that's what happened to Abbie Cornish."
This looks SO dumb. I'm going to force my friends to see it on my birthday weekend.
Will see when I am stoned. Was that Maria Bello?
Day after Tomorrow + Armageddon + Twister + Olympus has fallen = quite possibly the dumbest movie ever made that doesn't have a Transformer in it.
Nevermind. It's Abbie Cornish. Maria is too old but I was momentarily excited.
This is all in one movie?!?!? Are we sure it's not some Weather Channel Mini-Series?!?!?
This is so wrong but so right. If it is that entertaining throughout. Yes. We need smart camp in these unsteady days. It seems right time for Die Hard and other 70's and 90's disaster remakes.
What is going on up in this site?
The last three posts feature Gerard Butler and a cheap disaster movie, Transformers and Michael Bay and Sienna Miller! Nathaniel - I demand answers!
Morganb agreed,It certainly lost it's individual voice this past week.Nat were r u.
I spy Mare Winningham.
MMinDC
It would be funny if Sienna Miller was struck and killed by a huge piece of ice in the first ten minutes.
This would be a testament of "Remember how Abbie Cornish and Jim Sturgess were promising performers"...
Thought one: "Holy fuck, this looks bad!"
Thought two: "Holy fuck, this REALLY looks bad!"
It's made for foreign audiences. US is passé as far as film gross. Cher has a cameo as a ghost.
This looks "The Core" / "The Swarm" / "Meteor" / "Volcano" quality level...
... probably so bad, it's good, then. I wish it ends up being more a "Dante's Peak", which wasn't a masterpiece but was entertaining and more than watchable, despite its stupid moments.
Sad Face - I actually saw a raw cut of this film and Cher actually shows up at the end. She emerges from the world debris and starts singing, "If you believe in love after love" . . . Quite the emotional scene. Cher looks fantastic though