Drag Race: Tens Across The Board!
Saturday, March 24, 2018 at 10:54AM Nathaniel R retakes the crown Ruviewing duties from Chris Feil who is on a well deserved short break.
True story. Shortly after I queued up to watch the season 10 premiere online it froze on this image. Was it a meta acknowledgement of all the grumbling about the just completed All Stars 3? Try again sooner is what they did and the results are sooo promising.
"10s! 10s! 10s! across the board," was RuPaul's rallying proclamation in promos for the tenth anniversary season of RuPaul's Drag Race. That's a lot to live up to but the show, newly expanded to 2 hour episodes essentially (90 minutes + Untucked), is ready to gag you honey. The premiere episode, to borrow from chatterbox Monique Heart, delivered giving us the 'ooh ah ah sensation'...
I *just* noticed the 212 earring -- I ❤️NY
As is tradition each queen entering the workroom gets one opportunity for a first impression -- this usually involves entering, posing, and shouting out a single one-liner. My favorite of these was Dusty Ray Bottoms because the punk dismissal "never loved ya!" took me off guard.
I live for this opening each season because it feels suspended in time, a series of self-branding exercizes before the contestants are immediately absorbed into the interpersonal fishy DRAMA of it all, rarely to return to a true solo moment again. From there on out they're judged in relation to one other as the competition heats up. This one felt special. Not every one nailed it --Vanessa Vanjie Mateo, for example, just borrowed RuPaul's rallying cry for the season missing the point of that spotlight entirely. Nevertheless they all were exuding a genuine thrill at being in the room. And joy goes a long way in making RuPaul's Drag Race the best reality show on television.
Asia O'Hara was working that fringe fantasy
So does going back-back-back to your roots (🎵) as Ru did for this episode. Legacy has always been a rich part of drag, from the reputation of the houses that "birth" the girls, to the advantage a deep bench of knowledge of pop culture history (particularly of the diva kind) gives you with iconography and performance. So it was a GREAT sign for the season that the mini challenge was an old fashioned ball where the girls had to walk the runway / gauntlet amongst past queens from the show. No pressure, really, just impress a roomful of queens with bigger reputations than you. This challenge led to lots of great cutaways of beloved queens showing their "favorite!" hand when it came to the 14 new girls. Bob screaming "that's my baby!" while pointing at his drag daughter Miz Cracker or Adore Delano raving about Aquaria's prodigious creativity since she was 14 (!!!)
For the maxi-challenge the queens did "Drag on a Drime" crafting outfits from junk. It's like Project Runway's unconventional materials challenge with less emphasis on finished outfits and making it look like actual clothes and more on creativity / presence.
You're a winner, baby
Mayhem Miller won the maxi-challenge which had me scratching my wigless head. Her black garbage was nothing new, the only exciting bit being her use of black rubber gloves. But the judges are already rooting for her, given that she's one of those queens that has been auditioning for years (we figure they must keep tabs on the rejections since this is not the first time we've heard a teary "i've been auditioning for years!" story).
But the judging was strange. So many of the best looks (Monique Heart's plastic wig and card collar, Aquaria's little Bo Peep, and Monet X Change's avant-garde sponge dress with ping pong ball soap bubbles) were dubbed merely "safe".
Sashay away
Ru made the right decision sending the 'vanjie' girl home. Vanessa was practically sleepwalking next to the surprisingly spirited performance from Kalorie Karbdashion Williams who otherwise didn't impress in the episode. When queens take that "lipsynch for your life" so seriously and work (or in this case twerk) their asses off, give credit where it's due!
Favorite recurring gag
The queens reacting to Miz Cracker's name. Bless the black queens and the on-the-ball editing room for making such a delicious spit-take joke out of this name. Asia and Monique in particular weren't having it but Monét, already familiar with Cracker from the NYC scene, thought it hilarious. Miz Cracker didn't let her own joke get away from her delivering the delayed punchline on the runaway "I live in Harlem so people call me by name all the time."
Quotable Bitches
"I was happy for the airtime." - Jinx Monsoon
"I'm a production" - Monique Heart
"I couldn't do a cartwheel if four people were operating my limbs" - Trixie Mattel
"There are no accidents in fisting." - Miz Cracker
Name dropping
Pop culture references this episode: Mary J Blige, Jo Anne Worley, Paris is Burning, The Tin Man, Project Runway, Katy Perry, Cinderella, Judy Jetson, Janis Joplin, Gilligan's Island, "silent film drama," Flowers in the Attic. Despite the presence of Christina Aguilera and her mutant lungs as a guest judge, no one mentioned Burlesque. I feel personally attacked.
Rankings
Doing this a little differently than Chris did with predictions separated from preferences because, as with Oscar, that's the only way I know how to process both the thrill and heartbreak of competitions simultaneously. For instance, I'm excited about Kameron Michaels not strictly for "thirst" reasons -- though it was hilarious to see the other queens so parched -- but because the show has never had a queen like her. That said, other than that reaction to his disrobing in the workroom he had next to no air time and barely spoke in Untucked. No personality OR nerves? Either way that isn't a great sign for a long run.
| Prediction | Preference |
 |
 |
| Extremely subject to change as we get to know them | |
| 1. Miz Cracker | 1. Monét X Change |
| 2. Asia O'Hara | 2. Eureka |
| 3. Monét X Change | 3. Asia O'Hara |
| 4. Mayhem Miller | 4. Dusty Ray Bottoms |
| 5. Eureka | 5. Miz Cracker |
| 6. Aquaria | 6. Kameron Michaels |
| 7. Monique Heart | 7. Yuhua Hamasaki |
| 8. Dusty Ray Bottoms | 8. Mayhem Miller |
| 9. Yuhua Hamasaki | 9. Aquaria |
| 10. Blair St Clair | 10. Monique Heart |
| 11. The Vixen | 11. The Vixen |
| 12. Kalorie Karbdashian Williams | 12. Blair St Clair |
| 13. Kameron Michaels | 13. Kalorie Karbdashian Williams |
| 14. Vanessa Vanjie Mateo OUT | 14. Vanessa Vanjie Mateo OUT |
Gif as expectations after the disappointing All Stars 3:
Gif as episode grade:
Episode title don't lie.
How about you?
Squirrelfriends, were you also gagging at this episode?
Reader Comments (22)
Kameron Michaels reminds me of Jade Jolie and not in a good way.
A few thoughts of my own:
This looks like a very strong bunch of queens, and still Yuhua Yamasaki manages to stand out for me.
Monét X Change feels like this season's Bob the Drag Queen, which I mean as a compliment. Kameron Michaels feels like this season's Milk, which I don't.
I have a feeling Blair St. Clair, while suspiciously devoid of charisma in episode 1 (maybe it was lost in the edit?), will go very far in this season. The judges obviously loved her, and something about those Billy-Elliot-like looks out of drag actually do intrigue me. There is a storyline that could make good Reality TV buried somewhere.
The whole Aquaria-Cracker rivalry is getting on my nerves already, and I can only hope Aquaria (who is, judging from this episode, obviously the lesser of the two, and the one who seems to be driving this rivalry thing, while Miz Cracker seems to be above it) will get the boot soon; I have a feeling we will drag her along for a while, though. Speaking of: How Aquaria, despite having the far and away most dreadful runway look, wasn't in the bottom (and Dusty Ray Bottoms was, for a traffic cone hat) is beyond me (And I am really scratching my head reading your assessment on that one.)
My current ranking:
1. Yuhua Yamasaki
2. Monét X Change
3. Monique Heart
4. Miz Cracker
5. Mayhem Miller
6. Blair St. Clair
7. Dusty Ray Bottoms
8. Asia O'Hara
9. Eureka
10. The Vixen
11. Kameron Michaels
12. Kalorie Karbdashian Williams
13. Vanessa Vanjie Mateo - out
14. Aquaria
This premiere was great! It felt like a throwback to classic drag race, and the hour long episode helped give it some breathing room. My favorites thus far are Cracker, Yuhua, Asia, Monique, Mayhem and Eureka.
Have to disagree with you Nathaniel, I thought Aquaria - who is one of my least favorites - had an unfinished look and Monet had an awful shape to her outfit. Monique did have a great outfit though. Will be interesting to see how the season plays out because there feels like very little cannon fodder.
Yes the Aquaria/Cracker drama is ridiculous (two peolle cant have blue eyes?), it’ll be like Coco/Alyssa drama, let’s just hope they’re as funny as those two. Cracker seems to be the bigger person, and already showed she’s the best out of the two in a single episode.
Vanessa deserved to go. Kalorie earned her place in the bottom and destroyed Vanessa with the bills and split. Kameron could’ve been on the bottom.
Cracker should’ve won. Dusty was basically top/bottom only to criticize her hat, which seemed stupid, Aquaria, the girl with the cards and the one with the sponge dress deserved to be there instead of her. Blair and Mayhem didn’t need to be there for those gloves.
This is RuPaul’s best look in years and years. She always wears the exact same dress, so this was shocking and amazing.
Such a good episode. I feel like the creativity was front and center which is how it should be. Kalorie was my top of episode pick to go home first—all of her looks have seemed unpolished so far—but damn that was a fantastic lip sync. I didn’t think she had it in her and was pleasantly surprised.
The Aquaria intro reminded me of how talked-up Aja was—it seems like she’s the talented young NY queen who will stumble or get caught up in the competition and lose her way.
My favorites were Monét, Yuhua, Monique. Dusty Ray and Mayhem have a lot of potential and I hope they deliver consistently. I think Cracker will have a big breakthrough. She seemed hyped this episode but I didn’t love her runway look as much as the judges (I think something weird with the padding, maybe?). But she showed some amazing hints of humor and I hope she delivers. Vixen I loved out of drag but she seems to be missing something—clarity of vision or self-awareness, maybe—while in drag. Perhaps she will have a Naomi-Smalls-level transformation.
The person in the cast who worries me is Eureka. In the episode she had two “very special moments” viz. her injury (appropriate, given her returning queen status), but then also some other struggle she mentioned when her season aired. The conversations felt weirdly forced/manufactured and pulled from what already seems set up to be a great season.
More looks and creativity and less manufactured drama, please! Loving it so far. Sadly, leaps and bounds more enjoyable than AS3 which never really got going.
"Well, you're not a real woman either."
Team Yuhua officially!
Alexis Mateo wrote a really sweet Instagram post about Vanessa Vanjie that reveals Vanessa is a baby drag queen. She's only been doing drag for 2 years.
And to be petty and extra, 20% of all first eliminated queens are Alexis' daughters; Alisa Summers was her first drag child before she officially started calling them the Tampa Mateos.
I'm always drawn to the kooks on this show and Yuhua fits the bill. May she last at least as long as Tammie Brown. Oh wait, she did. Mission accomplished.
Kameron Michaels is giving me The Princess
Ohhh - Nathaniel - Aquaria and Monet's looks for the top? Girl, where your taste at? On Holiday too?
I won't argue with you over Monique - bitch should have been in the top over Yuhua and Blair and Cracker should have won.
But it's clear they're pulling the story together already - Blair is going to go far, quietly, Yuhua is going to stumble on a comedy challenge and Dusty will be kicked off fairly soon and they need to justify it by placing her low now (and I knew Michelle would have it in for her make-up the minute I saw her for the first time - Michelle needs to retire, now). and they haven't really got a story for Monique so she's safe.
BUT - a much stronger start to the season and it washed away the pain that was AS3 so I'm here and living for it.
The season was filmed a while ago, so I wonder if it was Ru who copies Vanessa's "10s across the board" and not the other way around (as you suggest)?
Also, am I the only one who loves Kameron's voice?
Love this new cast, and I'm only a little worried that this first episode's judging seemed a little inscrutable. (Things are always subjective, play different in person, and after all they're producing a reality show - not the Olympics.)
I'm Team Monet! And I was skeptical of Aquaria based on his attitude, but that entrance look was a serious "Diane Lane in 'Fabulous Stains'" homage, so...
What a truly wonderful lineup of queens! Y'all I've been a fan of Asia O'Hara for ages and I'm so stoked to see her commit murder on this competition. Everyone's thirsting over Kameron, but ma'am Monet and Kalorie have me fluttering my eyelashes like a Disney Princess.
It'd be really foolhardy to argue with Miss Vanjie's elimination after that runway and lipsync but damned if I didn't fall in utter love with her in the episode. How do we bribe/blackmail/strongarm Ru into allowing to remain simply as a season narrator?
Favorite Moments: Bob's pride over Miz Cracker, Monique's playing card outfit, and "Harpo, who this woman?"
@Bass - that quote came from her song ‘Category is’ which last season (9) - performed as their final challenge - you’ll notice in that episode/song it starts with ‘10s across the board’ as the opening line so Vanessa definitely picked it up from there :)
guurrrrllll, for shame
"10s! 10s! 10s across the board!" is from paris is burning
Miss Vanjie is coming back in a cookie jar in the first episode of Season 11, ala Shangela. Get those cookies, baby.
Based on the episode as a whole...
Tops: Monet, Monique, Dusty
Bottoms: Vanessa, Kalorie, The Vixen
The black girls are bringing it this season. Monet is lovable and fun, Monique is right behind her in that regard, Asia exudes class (though I didn't love that weird Party City runway look), and Mayhem has the drive. I hope they do well.
Loved Yuhua's personality, but that dress was B-A-S-I-C.
I worry a bit about Miz Cracker. She had some great one-liners this episode, but I got a very try-hard vibe from her. I also didn't get the impression you did from the Aquaria vs. Miz Cracker feud. Aquaria seems conceited, sure, but I got the impression that she was talented and confident while Miz Cracker was unsure of herself and just trying to keep up. If you think about the construction of their attire, Aquaria's was infinitely harder to pull off than Miz Cracker's "hat brim + shower curtain = finished look."
Kalorie, Kameron, and (maybe I'm wrong but) The Vixen seem like early boots to me. After that, though, it's going to get brutal. I worry about Dusty Ray Bottoms, who they seem to have decided that they don't like.
par -- i feel deep shame.
I thought there was a Burlesque reference? Didn't Ru say something about having sold the air rights for the studio, to Chaz Bono? It's a reference to how Christina's character saves Cher's nightclub by selling off the rights to build over the club to nearby condo buildings (whose expensive views would be obstructed by a taller building in the club's place). If I had a dollar for every time I've suggested selling the air rights to get out of a fiscal jam since that movie came out...
I feel great about this new season so far. I actually don't have a favorite yet, because I think everyone is talented, and I don't dislike anyone yet, which is a rarity. Usually there's at least one.
I think it was the best season opener they have had in a looooong time. Everyone seems pretty good, some more than others. But even Vanessa was not a stinker. She's clearly just a baby drag queen. There's time for her yet!
Monique should definitely have been in the top over Blair. Her garment was so original and wonderfully constructed to boot (and using only the Queen of Hearts cards was such an inspired touch).
Both Yuhua and Cracker are hilarious, but I have my eye on Cracker going far - a beautiful queen with wit is a recipe for success. Especially in comparison with Aquaria, who seems complacent and just there to manufacture drama. Granted, she might be able to impress us with some high-fashion looks for the runway, but I'll have Cracker over her any day, judging by the premiere.
Other favourites - Dusty (who looks doomed at the hands of Michelle) and Monet (she looked fabulous on the runway but Vanessa said in an interview that her dress was actually unfinished, so I guess it would have been unfair to award her a place in the top).
I dont get the "hate" for Blair St. Clair! I think she is and will be a Standout in that Season. Hope she goes far as the rumors (which I dot want to hear, but sometimes you cant deside) sounds. Hope she is the Jinkx of the Season! ;-)
I dont get the "hate" for Blair St. Clair! I think she is and will be a Standout in that Season. Hope she goes far as the rumors (which I dot want to hear, but sometimes you cant deside) sounds. Hope she is the Jinkx of the Season! ;-)