Gay Best Friend: Patrick (Ezra Miller) in "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" (2012)
Tuesday, June 15, 2021 at 8:30AM
a series by Christopher James looking at the 'Gay Best Friend' trope
Ezra Miller had one of their biggest critical successes playing Patrick in "The Perks of Being a Wallflower."With the recent release of Love Victor season two on Hulu, it has been remarkable to see how the depiction of gay teenagers has grown over decades. The sweet natured, loving depictions of coming out in Love Simon and (to a certain extent) Love Victor stand out compared to the harder times that queer kids like Rickie Vasquez (Wilson Cruz) from My So Called Life had to go through over twenty-five years earlier. This is a great sign of progress in our world’s treatment of LGBTQ+ people, but we know queer kids still face plenty of bullying, violence and, in the case of trans kids, legislative battle.
One of my favorite depictions of a gay teenager has been Ezra Miller’s performance as Patrick in The Perks of Being a Wallflower. This gay best friend got the chance to be a fully rounded character. He experienced joy and love, rather than being defined by the trauma heaped upon him by others. In his friendships, he could be the center of attention, and have both power and support. Patrick doesn’t go through a journey of figuring out his sexuality. Instead, he goes on a journey of loving all parts of himself - his sexuality, his strength, his weaknesses - everything...
Patrick eventually gets a C- in freshman shop, which is more than I could ever hope for.
Mr. Callahan: Nothing, why don't you read first?
Patrick: Alright, Chapter 1: Surviving your fascist shop teacher who needs to put kids down to feel big. Oh wow! This is useful guys, we should read on!
Patrick is introduced as a joker, an outsider and a protector. He’s the lone senior in freshman shop class who draws a goatee on his face and mocks the teacher to make everyone laugh. The teacher walks in and immediately calls Patrick “nothing,” a nickname that sticks through the movie. As our protagonist, Charlie (Logan Lerman), notes in voiceover, he was “just trying to make the freshmen more comfortable.” Patrick acts as the sacrificial lamb because he knows he’s not nothing. Better to cause a stir than sit down and be ordinary. As the movie goes on, the name “nobody” becomes death by a thousand cuts. Patrick can drown out one voice, but drowning out a whole school full of them can be hard.
This strength in the face of ridicule is what draws the titular wallflower Charlie to approach Patrick during a football game. Likewise, the extroverted Patrick sees this sweet soul within Charlie and knows he needs to nurture him. He takes Charlie under his wing not just because he knows it's the right thing to do, but because he likes being around Charlie’s innocent sweetness, which both he and his sister Sam (Emma Watson) had lost. Charlie becomes infatuated with Sam and idolizes Patrick. Having grown up with a traditionally popular brother and sister, Charlie finally feels like he has a second family that really gets him.
Patrick: Hey, everyone! Everybody! Everyone, raise your glasses to Charlie.
Charlie: What did I do?
Patrick: You didn't do anything. We just want to toast to our new friend. You see things and you understand. You're a wallflower.
[Charlie gets embarrassed]
Patrick: What is it? What's wrong?
Charlie: I didn't think anyone noticed me.
Patrick: Well we didn't think there was anyone cool left to meet! So come on everyone. To Charlie!
When a very high Charlie confesses to Sam that his friend had shot himself, Sam confides this to Patrick, not sure how to react. Patrick reemerges to the party and leads a toast to Charlie that is so sweet and loving, and in a platonic way. This kindness is just one of many ways that Patrick sees Charlie’s need for a friend and feels a responsibility to look out for the kid. Over the course of their friendship, Patrick gives Charlie an incredible wardrobe, drives him through a tunnel listening to rock music and drags him onstage to perform Rocky Horror Picture Show. Yes, in some ways, Patrick functions as Charlie’s “fairy Godmother,” which can be a common role for the token queer character. Yet, it matters that Patrick is bringing Charlie into his world, not the other way around. Patrick is the older person with a defined friend group of very close outcasts. He’s the one in power who is mothering Charlie and bringing him into the nest.
If that was all Patrick was given to do, this would feel like a sweet, yet thin, depiction of a gay high schooler in the 90s. Luckily, there’s more to Patrick than just being a sweet friend.
Charlie: Patrick never likes to be serious, so it took me a while to get what happened. When he was a junior, Patrick started seeing Brad on the weekends in secret. I guess it was hard, too, because Brad had to get drunk every time they fooled around. Then Monday in school Brad would say, 'Man, I was so wasted. I don't remember a thing.' This went on for seven months. When they finally did it Brad said he loved Patrick and then he started to cry. No matter what Patrick did, Brad kept saying that his dad would kill him and saying he was going to hell. Patrick was eventually able to help Brad get sober. I asked Patrick if he felt sad that he still had to keep it a secret, and he said no. Because at least now Brad doesn't have to get drunk to love him.
The central thesis of The Perks of Being a Wallflower is that we accept the love that we think we deserve. This is said a lot in relation to why Sam chooses shitty guys to fall in love with. However, this extends to Patrick. His relationship with closeted football star Brad (Johnny Simmons) isn’t unrequited. When they are alone together, they experience a version of love, or so it seems. Yet, whatever love they have dissipates the minute other people are around. Throughout the movie, Brad can be seen going to parties with Patrick’s group of friends, but never the other way around. For as confident as he is in other areas of his life, Patrick is seemingly content to be the “dirty little secret.”
Not many of the movies we’ve covered, specifically the ones set in high school, really delve into the gay best friend’s romantic life. This is part about what sets The Perks of Being a Wallflower apart. Many queer kids, especially those during the early 90s when the movie is set, didn’t think traditional romantic love would be possible for them. With seemingly no other out kids in high school, Patrick thinks his relationship with Brad is the best he can expect in terms of romantic love.
Patrick: There's this one guy, queer as a 3 dollar bill. The guy's father doesn't know about his son. So, he comes into the basement one night when he's supposed to be out of town. Catches his son with another boy, so he starts beating him. But not like the slap kind, the real kind. And the boyfriend says, "Stop! You're killing him!" But the son just yells, "Get out!" And, eventually, the boyfriend just... did.
The Perks of Being a Wallflower is filled with trauma, yet it resists being trauma porn. All of life’s setbacks inform the characters, rather than defining them. The abuse that Brad sustains leads him to call Patrick “nothing” in public and not stand up for him when Patrick is called a faggot. Patrick has allowed himself to be minimized by Brad and to be his secret. Yet, he’s never allowed Brad to be one of his aggressors. A weaker film would’ve had Patrick get beat up as a way to punish the gay so we, the audience, can be sympathetic to him (see As Good As It Gets). Yet, Patrick is the one to throw the first punch. His relationship is over. High school is nearly over. He deserves to maintain his dignity. Though Charlie is the one to be the punch that stops the fight, Patrick is never coded as weak. The only thing that makes Patrick feel weak is that he didn’t stand up against Brad’s Dad.
The final quarter of Patrick’s senior year is an exercise in licking his wounds. Charlie becomes his loyal confidant, whom Patrick relies a bit too much on. In one moment, Patrick leans over to kiss Charlie, feeling a closeness he thinks can only be the start of romance. Yet, Charlie is straight and just a friend. The way the two men are able to shrug off the moment for what it was - an attempt to show gratitude and affection - is powerful. Patrick may not struggle with his sexuality, but he does struggle to find appropriate people to bestow his love onto.
Patrick was always the king of his little kingdom. One can only imagine him finding his tribe in college.
As the senior class leaves, Charlie goes into a tailspin. Without getting too bogged down into detail, the film ends with Sam and Patrick returning to raise Charlie’s spirits. We hear glimpses of what their college lives are like. All we know is they got out and are onto bigger, new chapters of their lives. Patrick may be there to help Charlie out, but that’s not his entire purpose in the narrative. Patrick is a character that has his own relationship, his own drama, his own downfall and his own moments where the straight lead needs to pick him up. That’s what a real friendship is - each person falling down and needing the other one to carry them for a little bit.
Since The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Ezra Miller has gone on to have a successful and visible career. On screen, Miller has taken on two franchises (Fantastic Beasts and Justice League) and successfully come out as nonbinary. Their ability to be visible to masses and hit fashion runways sporting all sorts of gender-bending looks is something that would make Patrick proud. Miller has proven that one can stay true to themselves and have a thriving blockbuster career. As big as they get, they will always live on in my heart as kind, sensitive and funny Patrick. Well... as Patrick and as the murderous Kevin in We Need to Talk About Kevin, but that's a whole other article!
Related: Logan Lerman interview on Perks of Being a Wallflower
Previously in Gay Best Friend
pre stonewall
- Plato (Sal Mineo) in Rebel Without a Cause (1955)
- Sebastian Venable in Suddenly Last Summer (1959)
- Calla Mackie (Estelle Parsons) in Rachel Rachel (1968)
post stonewall
- Erich (Norbert Weisser) in Midnight Express (1978)
- Toddy (Robert Preston) & Squash (Alex Karras) in Victor/Victoria (1982)
- Dolly Peliker (Cher) in Silkwood (1983)
- Buffy (Charles Grodin) in Woman in Red (1984)
1990s and the 2000s
- Tim (Nathan Lane) in Frankie & Johnny (1991)
- Hedy (Jennifer Jason Leigh) & Graham (Peter Friedman) in Single White Female (1992)
- Sammy Gray (Steve Zahn) in Reality Bites (1994)
- Gareth (Simon Callow) and Matthew (John Hannah) in Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)
- Jane (Whoopi Goldberg) in Boys on the Side (1995)
- Sterling (Patrick Stewart) in Jeffrey (1995)
- George Downs (Rupert Everett) in My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997)
- Simon (Greg Kinnear) in As Good As It Gets (1997)
- George Hanson (Paul Rudd) in The Object of My Affection (1998)
- Bill Truitt (Martin Donovan) in The Opposite of Sex (1998)
- Michael (Stuart Wells) in Billy Elliot (2000)
- Robert (Rupert Everett) in The Next Best Thing (2000)
- Patti (Sandra Oh) in Under the Tuscan Sun (2003)
- Damian (Daniel Franzese) in Mean Girls (2004)
- Nigel (Stanley Tucci) in The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
- Wallace Wells (Kieran Culkin) in Scott Pilgrim vs the World (2010)
- Brandon (Dan Byrd) in Easy A (2010)
the now
Reader Comments (13)
This film came out in my last year of high school, and I saw it during the first semester of college. Maybe because of this fortuitous timing or because I had low expectations (feared it would be the trauma porn you mention), it has always had a special place in my heart. Miller's Patrick is one of the many elements I love about it, and this piece beautifully articulates what makes the character so enticing, magnetic, joyful, and heartbreaking in equal measure.
Of all the moments you point out, the ease with which Patrick and Charlie shrug off the awkwardness of the aborted kiss was especially significant to my teen self. It was sort of revelatory seeing that moment of queer vulnerability/social faux pas play out, and, in the end, the friendship hasn't been irreparably damaged. If anything, their closeness continues.
Also, this sentence is gorgeous in its tender truth: "That’s what a real friendship is - each person falling down and needing the other one to carry them for a little bit."
As always, the Gay Best Friend series is a highlight of the week. Thank you so much for your wonderful writing, Christopher.
Love this article. Reflecting on this film and book always puts tears in my eyes. So much of my high school experience (early 2000s) was much like this.
Thanks, Christopher
Awesome write up!! I haven’t seen this movie in a while and it makes me want to revisit it!
I loooooooove this performance
I love this performance and film SO SO SO much. Great write up! I'll have to re-watch this one very soon.
Excellent discussion of this character and performance. I love this film.
And relating to the point Claudio raises above, I think Lerman's work in this was extraordinary. While of course the script is the script, the way Miller and Lerman played off each other was important to making this Gay Best Friend work.
He's awesome in this film as he just has this energy as I couldn't help but have fun with him.
One of my favorite films and probably my favorite supporting actor that year. I’m a huge fan of the novel and this is an incredible adaptation. It manages to explore the deep sadness and trauma the characters experience, but embraces the joy they experience and love they have for each other.
Loved this performance and this movie has a special place in my heart. Lots of fond memories watching and rewatching this with friends and people that I dated back then. :)
He's so good in this. Made for the role. I honestly don't care for him in anything else, but his Patrick is a gift to everyone who watches the film and reads the book.
Frankly, I would've nominated him for at least a Golden Globe. The line readings are so delicious and they all come from such a tender center, and that I think helps keep Patrick human...
But also deliciously gay. :)
I've been Patrick more than once in my life, and I've known quite a few Patricks in my 33 years of life. That's one of the only compliments worth giving to artifice, I reckon.
I vaguely remember seeing this. I found it odd that Patrick and Sam were so well-versed in classic rock music but needed the whole movie to identify a fairly well-known David Bowie song. And by "odd" I mean inconsistent writing from Gen-X filmmakers projecting their Gen-X sensibilities onto characters that are not Gen-X. (It's a pet peeve of mine, and I am also Gen-X.)
@Brevity: pretty sure it takes place in the early 90s, so these characters would likely be classified as Gen-X.
@Keelay!: Thanks for the clarification. I thought it took place in the 2000s, and I folded it in to my Gen-X peeve about 80's music put into pretty much every high school homecoming or prom or reunion scene, without regard to historical accuracy.