Toxic Masculinity at the Oscars
Monday, March 28, 2022 at 12:01PM by Deborah Lipp
the initial reaction to Rock's joke. Will laughs and Jada clenches her teeth.
The best director Oscar went to a woman for only the third time in history. It went to the only woman who was ever nominated twice. It went to Jane Campion for making a movie about the destructive power of toxic masculinity.
The elephant in the room, given that prize, was Will Smith’s toxic behavior. In case anyone was wondering if the patriarchy is at risk of being overthrown, there’s Smith assaulting someone on stage, in view of millions, and then moments later being applauded for a speech in which he declares he is all about love. He was not stopped, or escorted from the room, and he will face no consequences...
Photo: Robyn Beck/AFP via Getty Images
A counter-narrative about ableism has emerged, so let’s do that.
Chris Rock could have avoided making any remarks about Jada Pinkett-Smith’s alopecia, and that would have been gracious and wise. He didn’t do that. He could also have insulted her baldness, and he didn’t do that. He pointed to it in a way that compared her to a famously sexy movie role (GI Jane), but she appeared not to want it pointed to at all, and looked uncomfortable. The joke was tasteless and shouldn’t have happened.
But I am old enough to remember an entire Internet standing up in righteous indignation at the thought that stand-up comics shouldn’t make triggering rape jokes. Free speech! the internet cried. Comedy is meant to challenge, they declaimed, it’s supposed to be uncomfortable.
But all of that goes out the window when a man can posture and peacock his masculinity in “defense” of his wife. And then give a speech about how love and fatherhood mean that God wants him to defend his family. By assaulting a comedian in front of millions of people.
It brings me, strangely, back to The Power of the Dog. We all saw the toxic masculinity in Cumberbatch’s vile and hate-filled Phil, but have we thought about Kodi Smit-McPhee’s Pete? How toxic masculinity taught him that his job as a man is to defend the woman in his life, and where that led him?
Protectiveness can be as toxic as meanness. Will Smith strutted his hour upon the stage, telling the audience that what he did made him a good husband. It wasn’t about Jada, you know, or genuinely helping her, it was about “my wife,” and what kind of masculinity Will Smith gets to perform in front of the world. And the world says, “fuck yeah!”
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Reader Comments (39)
I went to bed feeling sick to my stomach and I have never ever experienced violence in my household. Imagine those who have. My heart goes out to them.
He wasn’t sorry for what he did, just sorry he got caught. He apologized to everyone except the person he hit in the face on live television. He cried about love and god calling upon him to protect and how he forgot in the industry you have to accept abuse … um, sir, you just enacted PHYSICAL ABUSE in front of millions watching.
But life was imitating art last night. I believe we really need to start examining these fathers who abuse their children into successful careers w a harsher lens. It’s been going on for too long, and now is the time to open up that can of worms, which King Richard never did, it just put the man on a pedestal.
And that’s exactly how Smith behaved last night. Like an egomaniac. But I’ve seen a video of him slapping a reporter, not long ago either, so I shouldn’t be too surprised.
The fact that he will face no sort of consequences aside from some internet chatter that will inevitably cease soon, is sad and fucked up.
But I guess the Oscars got what they wanted! The kind of hoopla they could never generate on their own accord.
Excusing violence and bad behavior only creates more violence and bad behavior.
We all need to lucidly call Will Smith's behavior what it was... insane, childish, and inexcusable.
I mean, Lupita’s face said it all for me. And then when the sound cut back on, it was totally silent. I was like 😬 😬 😬 I can’t imagine what it was like to BE there! He’s a scary man.
This blew the Moonlight - La La Land fiasco outta the water!
There are so many gross aspects to unpack about all that, but one of the ones that made me feel the worst was that he dragged Aunjanue Ellis the young actresses that played his daughters into his defence, as people that he's had the privilege to defend.
It's so unfair to them to get pulled publicly into this weird moment conflating love and violence on such an important night to them.
Using the ‘vessel of love’ defense after striking someone - that is what will happen now. It is a sickly feeling seeing this transpire - sad to say too that all of Will Smith’s negative press stems from Jada - the cheating, the uproar from her when he wasn’t nominated for Concussion, then her reaction to the joke. And then he makes an ass out of himself for her! Then cries and we should all forgive him. If you’re going to protect someone, make sure that person is worth protecting.
If what Chris Rock said was out-of-line (and with all due respect, I don't expect him to be an expert on Jada Pinkett Smith's medical history so "ignorance" is a pretty believable defense) he would've paid for it today, fairly or unfairly. He'd be on his back foot, folks would demand an apology, maybe he'd suffer some punishment. That's the risk you take with insult comedy and Chris Rock understands those risks as well as anyone.
The risk you DON'T take in a civil society is getting slapped in the face.
Big prediction - next year Will Smith will be back to present the award for Best Actress, the host(s) will engage in some humorous banter with him about the whole thing, and his re-appearance will be featured in the commercials leading up to the ceremony.
^ Amy - yep. Either that or they will do some typical performative stuff and not allow him back to present the category next year even tho they clearly excused the behavior last night.
It’s especially interesting when you think about how television works.
They could’ve cut the whole thing from broadcast in that moment. Instead, they cut to a closeup of Will Smith yelling “KEEP MY WIFE’S NAME OUT YOUR MOUTH” lolll like they CHOSE to show us the back and forth. Producers could’ve said “cut broadcast” or whatever until the situation was sorted, but didn’t.
If I was chris rock I’d be pissed. Everyone came to the abuser’s defense way more than the victim! No one did shit for him.
Yeah agree with all that, it made the whole ceremony so bad and as discussed in the other post, everyone forget how poorly they treated Liza Minnelli because of all this.
I also didn't get why Rock had to present something like best documentary, he should have been kept as a song introduction or whatever. A lot of the presenters were picked poorly yet they had to somehow miraculously squeeze in Rachel Zegler when she is a walking Disney promo at the moment?
First off, the joke. Smith has alopecia, not cancer. I've had alopecia and made jokes about it myself at the time. Plus, "G.I. Jane" remains an underrated movie with one of Demi Moore's greatest performances. The joke was total softball.
The reaction was absolutely insane. Comedians have told jokes so, so much worse and not had some deranged lunatic storm the stage and slap them. But in this case, the behavior was actually rewarded. Yes, the Oscar was his before last night, but to be given 6 minutes to talk about love and being a good husband after he physically assaulted another human being was wrong on so many levels. He was rewarded with not only the Oscar, but applause and airtime to try to explain his toxic masculinity.
I don't know how Smith or the Oscars comes back from this. This is precedent setting and if nothing is done, comedians and other performers should be very afraid. A comedian was assaulted in front of millions of people for telling a mild joke.
And that is truly the stuff of Hollywood nightmares.
DK, I appreciate that black women's hair is a very touchy subject, and he should never have said anything regardless of what he did or didn't know. He made a documentary about black women's hair, ferfuxake. But you're right about how the response should have gone.
Any, 100% correct. We (American culture) love toxic men and celebrate them.
Sad (but totally understandable) that no one is talking about the other three acting winners, Jane Campion, Billie Eilish, Kenneth Branagh, CODA, Dune, or any of the other winners. Smith succeeded in making the Oscar ceremony all about him.
It's pretty rich that he bailed on the winner's press conference and the traditional Oscar winner's photo shoot, but he managed to go to all the parties.
This article is a very good example of why I love this blog/site so much. Great perspective and awesome way of pointing towards the relevance of "The Power of the Dog" in art and in life.
I hope ABC and the Academy can learn from this and stop recruiting irrelevant (to the show) famous people to present the categories.
Will Smith should have been escorted out and charged. Imagine, for one second, that Will Smith was not a famous actor. Imagine, that Chris was white.
I had a knot in my stomach for the rest of the evening. The attempt to redeem himself with his speech was nausea-inducing.The standing ovations, the claps, the partying, all of it was in such bad taste. The producers needed to step in HERE, not to cut categories.
I have to say, prior to this incident, i was very much enjoying the show. Dune Sweep, CODA creeping up, the inevitable. The event itself started a HIGH, a thrill, trying to figure out if it was staged or not, then getting the Audio through the Australian feed - the whole thing took me through ALL the feelings, in a downward spiral to where I am grossed out by Smith in ways i never expected.
I hope Chris Rock changes his mind about pressing charges.
Excellent piece, Deborah. Last night's show was all kinds of awful, but the Smith/Rock conflict was easily the lowlight, in fact pretty much the lowlight of the entire history of the Oscar telecast. It was genuinely upsetting to see Smith getting a standing ovation after his earlier behavior.
I couldn't finish listening to Will's speech. Too hard. Muted it and waited for it to be over. It felt like it took an eternity. Did he really speak an extra long time or did it just feel that way because of my discomfort?
Can I just say all this talk has taken focus from how gorgeous Jada looked,that dress had emerald city pouring out of it
Jada's face after the joke said it all,it's easier to laugh when you aren't the butt of the joke,some jokes we laugh along with but this was a bit mean spirited and I can see why she was bothered but no excuse for violence what kind of example is that for the youth of the world.
Jessica Chastain's speech healed me after all that mess.
Mike, totally agree. Plus, I mean, Ridley Scott didn't slap Wanda Sykes or Regina Hall for their jokes about his movies. Gaga didn't slap Sykes for her joke about Gaga's performance in Gucci. And those jokes were actually insulting.
Absolutely nuts moment. Followed by a really terrible speech where Smith praised himself as a protector of women and barely apologized. It was surprising to see him take such a direct action, when he could have confronted Rock later or even have said something on stage to praise Jada and denigrate Rock during his win. Instead, he got out of his seat and acted, which was uncouth, and uncomfortable.
He won his Oscar, but the moment didn't at all feel celebratory, just tense.
Also, I didn't find the Jada joke that offensive. She's bald because she has alopecia, wears it well, and has publicly talked about decisions regarding her hair. Pointing out that she has the "gi jane haircut" is the softest of jokes and not really offensive.
Just an assumption, but the way I see it is that Will Smith didn´t react to Chris Rock´s joke, but to Jada´s reaction, He laughed at first but I don´t know if something happened with Jada in those 3 seconds where we stopped watching him that made him do what he did. And you could tell by the moment he won his award, he regretted what he did and he knew he had ruined the most important moment in his career.
The problem is that he didn´t only ruin it for him, but to everyone. Today we are not talking about Jane Campion or Troy Kotsur´s win, how CODA ended up winning the big one, Best Actress´ outcome... no, we are talking about how Will Smitth slapped someone on Oscar´s stage, and that´s just sad. We who love movies, we watch the ceremony to see talented people get recognized, not a circus.
And worse, I´ve seen comments even rethinking King Richard´s message and the way it depicts the masculinity and childen´s explotation. I have no opinion there, I haven´t watched it, but definetely it had something to do with Smith´s actions.
So yes, such an unfortunate event, and more unfortunate that it will not have real consequence and that people just stood there and clapped. Not a good look. SPECIALLY when the night ended with The Academy choosing not to reward the masterpiece about toxic masculinity and its consequences after we´ve seen just a few minutes before quite a demonstration of it. YIKES.
I would like to know what kind of comments the people that follows this site have been watch in the social media from your country
Here in México people are literally divided, some think that Smith behavior was totally unacceptable (included myself) and others justify that is good "to defend" your loved ones.
Oscars can be so contradictories in the same night. Do you remember the 2006 ceremony where the major prize went to a film about stories "against" discrimination ... winning over the big favourite that was about two men in love?
On the repurcussions, it will be interesting to see what this does for Smith and how this is handled by the academy. Smith has a pretty impeccable brand, but I have to imagine this hurts him. A lot. It's our worst susipcions of him as a movie star confirmed - that he's arrogant and way too self-serious.
I think it will be interesting to see how the academy responds. Controversial winners have a habit of not showing up the following year to present (e.g. Casey Affleck). I think the logical punishment is that Smith just doesn't show up next year, but I can see him and Jada really making a big stink about that.
I hate to say this, but with all the talk of how ABC and the Academy were desperate to get more mainstream attention on the ceremony this year…well, be careful what you wish for, I guess. Obviously this is not the sort of attention they had in mind, but it’s depressing that this is already the most mainstream discussion the Oscars have generated in a very long time. And it’s depressing that it has nothing to do with movies. This fiasco has succeeded in overshadowing all of the awards to the point that I bet most “regular people” (you know, the kinds of people they were so desperate to appeal to) are talking about this incident but couldn’t even tell you what won Best Picture.
And while the incident itself was indeed an awful display of toxic masculinity that Will Smith will undoubtedly face very minor if any repercussions for, I also have to wonder what it says about our society that this was the thing that brought the Oscars back into the mainstream world of water cooler conversation and headline media coverage. You know, maybe I’m just in a cynical state of mind because this entire ceremony left a bad taste in my mouth and frankly made me feel for the first time in 22 years of following the Oscars ashamed to even be interested in them, but what a sad state of affairs we’re in that throughout not just entertainment but politics as well (as we’ve seen over the past few years for sure), the only way to grab the public’s attention anymore is by giving them a sideshow.
The Jerry Springer Show probably had its finger on the pulse of America more than the Oscars ever did.
@César : here in France, many articles are celebrating the French producers of CODA. But there is a also a lot of discussion regarding Will Smith's violence, some people are simply laughing at it, not getting the whole context that this article greatly shows.
In a weird way, Smith's assault reminds me of Zidane's headbutt at 2006 World Cup Final. A violent act seen by millions during the biggest achievement of a career.
I have seen most of this Oscar ceremony and what strikes me is that producers & hosts are chasing humor at all costs. A film award show doesn't have to be especially funny. And it's the same thing at our own César ceremony. We have to celebrate the joy of making and watching movies, not make fun of it.
It's hard to imagine the Oscars sinking to any possible lower point than giving Best Picture and Best Adapted Screenplay to the cheesy and utterly predictable after-school special posing as prestige that is CODA. Definitely in the bottom 5 BP winners of all time.
But this moment, this truly horrid example of a man pissing on himself, on his career, on the celebrations of everyone in the room because he couldn't take a joke, and then being allowed to accept one of the world's most coveted trophies on stage and to use his speech to attempt to get himself off the hook for commiting violent assualt in front of millions of viewers... that's not just the lowest Academy Awards moment. That's probably the lowest pop culture moment of my life to date. So sad, so gross, so utterly pathetic.
There are not many STARS left.... there are just too many actors... we will never see the Movies the way most of us knew them.
Liza Minnelli ( I know her ) from when I danced in musicals in the 50's../. She is a vain,
I am a Star... person. It has probably ly been hard for her to fall so far down so fast... she would do anything to be seen. I know form where I speak.
I was left wondering what the Williams sisters must think. They were very careful to ensure that the film didn't bring their father into disrepute--ironically, women defending a man-- only for Smith to do just that at the last possible minute, likening his truly disgraceful action to Richard Williams's parenting and some outdated notion that "the man must defend his woman."
@Edwin
I completely agree with your sentiments about feeling ashamed for ever following the Oscars after last night's utterly abhorrent, trashy ceremony.
I remember being a child (having just seen TITANIC in the cinema) and watching that year's Oscar ceremony. This was a time when the Oscars were still classy and watchable, with ratings going through the roof.
Since then, I followed the awards off and on. I had a book about Oscar trivia and history and tried to see each recent Best Picture nominee. A few years ago, my boyfriend and I met and connected over how we both had this habit and loved movies. This year, we saw many of the films at New York Film Festival, we both love many of the nominated actresses, etc.
But by the end of last night, we both felt utterly grossed out and embarrassed.
From the clownish breakdancing during the In Memoriam tribute, to the non-stop identity posturing (John Leguazamo quipping about 13 inch Latin penises, anyone?), to the long, awkward, never-ending litany of Encanto song and dances, to the mind-numbingly dumb Twitter "poll results", to the lazy, cringe-inducing humor (save Amy Schumer's first bit), to Will Smith literally swaggering up to the stage and punching Chris Rock in the face for telling a harmless softball joke, to him not being escorted out but rather celebrities comforting and back-patting and excusing his physically violent, erratic behavior, to his childish, disjointed mental breakdown of a speech..... It was all too grotesque to be believed.
Thank you Deborah for this thoughtful piece. You managed to coalesce my confusion and disappointment. I went to bed thinking of Hollywood’s tendency to reflect the good the bad and the ugly of the human experience through it’s media and through the behaviour of it’s flawed stars. It was bizarre watching this play out live. Here in Australia the language wasn’t muted but the broadcast cut out the acceptance from the winner of the category - a weird delayed reaction to the incident.
And suddenly the focus was no longer on moments of cinematic achievement but on petty meanness (Chris Rock’s comment and humour in general), toxic masculinity (Will Smith’s over-reaction) and the continuation of patriarchal dominance. Will Smith’s acceptance speech both moved and appalled me. I could see he was sincerely disturbed, but by using god and the devil to justify his behaviour he illustrated how misguided those who look to supernatural ideologies for guidance tend to be. Will Smith needed to take ownership of his flawed humanity. Yet instead of apologising and stating the need to seek anger management counselling, he did as many have done in the past - he sought forgiveness from his god for an action he attributed to the devil and was redeemed in the eyes of a congregation of his peers. It was hard to watch.
And while the right ‘unimportant’ categories were quickly edited and the winners were held to their allotted 45 seconds -1 minute acceptance speech time before being DJed out, Will Smith gets to talk for about 7-8 straight minutes without the DJ or orchestra cutting into his speech…
Willy-Will. He just outed himself as a fucking asshole. No wonder 2 of his no-talent ass-clown kids of his are fucked up. It's already bad enough that there's stories about his open marriage with Jada and associations with Scientology. Yet, his actions overshadowed what was already a trainwreck of a show and ended up making things much worse. Especially for those who were waiting to get their awards. Bad Willy-Will!
And for the record, I always refer to Fresh Prince as The Carlton Show because Carlton is fucking cool!
THOUGHT #1:
Will Smith's acceptance speech was one of the only performances in his decades-long career that I found compelling, bizarre and revelatory. Unfortunately, he (probably) wasn't acting and he may have been on something at the time. So it's an anomaly.
THOUGHT #2:
If it wasn't clear before, we now know for sure who Joel Coen should have cast in the two leads of his Shakespeare adaptation.
THOUGHT #3:
Would WS have behaved the same way if it had been Ben Stiller making that joke? And what would have happened if he did?
Very thoughtful piece. Yeah the takes I'm seeing from both sides...oof.
Horrified by the amount of people justifying Will's behaviour. Also, very scary how social media removes all the context and turns it into an anecdote by adding reactions to the slap that never happened.
We're so fucked.
This is basically a perfect summation. I've posted it to my facebook thread.
I want to preface this comment with a disclaimer, especially since the moderation of comments over the last few months, that I am one hundred percent serious. I've noticed that if anyone ventures even remotely outside the popular narrative, it immediately gets dismissed as 'trolling' so here it goes.
It truly breaks my heart that none of you are able to see that Will Smith is being emotionally abused by his wife. You all seem to be so blinded and brainwashed by anti male hatred that you cannot objectively call this for what it is. The Smiths have already shown us for a number of years now that they have a weird relationship as evidenced by that horrible Red Table Podcast interview where Jada forces Will to accept, among other things, any and all indiscretions without question. While he's left there to cry and be humiliatied by his wife. Remember the reactions? I do. They were brutal towards Will. Not Jada. Remember, she's a 'girl boss' who can do no wrong by forcing her husband into an open relationship he clearly doesn't want to be in, with their son's best friend no less. It's not as if that hasn't messed him up in someway.
The reaction to the joke itself was bizarre. It seems the marriage is open to everything *except* jokes, to which I don't think Will is handling very well. I also didnt realize that black women are so sensitive that you cannot even joke about their hair . Ayanna Presley made some stupid tweet about this which has since been deleted. Thank God it wasn't a white comedian who made the joke or the whole site would have crashed!
So the joke itself; why did he react that way? He was laughing along until his wife thought otherwise. Something happened in those few seconds where Will was manipulated. His reaction is too severe for it not be a case of manipulation. Oh but we can't say that! He's a toxic male! This might come as a shock to some of you, but women are just as capable of toxicity as men.
Obviously none of you care but just in case, did anybody catch his emotional state when he won the Oscar? And how she was practically beaming with joy as he was falling apart? No no guys! He clearly is exerting his patriarchal power by revising the 'assault' as an act of honour. It couldn't possibly be how his wife is a deeply manipulative woman with something wrong with her and that this is destroying him.
I also have to laugh at thevoid99, as if Jada's progressive bullshit has nothing to do with the current state of their children. No folks it's all Will Smith. Because in your minds women are great who have never done any wrong towards anyone or anything. It's all ' Toxic Masculinity'.
Please....This is what Toxic Femininity looks like. And none of you can even see it.
Anyway, just one more thing; pointing out that one woman is a horrible person does not mean that one hates all women. I have come to expect such reductionist and collective minded insults when one talks about women and their 'shadow side'. You can blame men for all of the horrors of the world and punish them today as a group but God forbid you if you point out that there's something wrong with someone's wife.
Aaron: I am not versed in the intricacies of the Smiths' marriage (though I'm aware of at least some of the chatter and reporting you refer to), but I do know this: however messed up their relationship or power dynamic is, Jada wasn't the one who hit Chris Rock. And even if she somehow goaded her husband into it, it was *his* choice to get up there on stage and enact that awful charade of performative toxic masculinity. It's still a symptom of a larger problem - the perception that this is what a man is supposed to do.
Great piece, Deborah.
Oh Lord...I still can't understand why people can't take a step back and assume whatever happened to Will Smith in the moment he decided to do what he did had to be EXTREME and that none of us really know what that was. For you to declare it was all about toxic masculinity seems self-serving in the sense that you have a hot topic to write about. Yes, he tried to explain it away and justify his actions PARTLY by saying he was protecting women but also hidden in those statements during his speech seemed to me a man who was honestly and emotionally confused and under immense anxiety. I choose to feel sympathy for Mr. Smith. I choose to feel that there were things affecting him in those moments that went far beyond anything the public can easily identify or judge. Honestly, I'm a little disappointed in The Film Experience for indulging in "hot topic" criticism.