Great Moments in Gayness: Journey to the Cocksucker in "But I'm a Cheerleader"
Monday, June 13, 2022 at 8:43AM
In honor of Pride Month, Here’s Christopher James highlighting a pivotal scene from Jamie Babbit’s But I’m a Cheerleader.
Doesn't everyone remember their first time in a gay bar?Satire is a powerful tool. It can take even big dark topics and shrink them down to laughable size. But I’m a Cheerleader represents the high point of what satire can do. Conversion therapy camps are still a blight on our society, despite being declared illegal in 20 states and more municipalities. They have traumatized an uncountable number of queer people. Yet, Babbit’s film subverts the location to be a cotton-candy-colored joke. The film does such a great job of making it a nightmare that loses its shock value because you simply can’t stop laughing AT it.
The joke machine comes to a halt for a joyous moment where we come up for sweet, queer air. The kids escape True Directions to go to a gay bar, "the Cocksucker"...
It may not look like much, but entering The Cocksucker for these kids is a bit like crossing through the looking glass.Four of the kids sneak out in the dead of the night to hop in the van of Larry (Richard Moll) and Lloyd (Wesley Mann), two ex-ex-gays who went through True Directions and want to provide the students with a “balanced perspective,” aka live your truth or live a lie. As Megan (Natasha Lyonne) puts it, “you run the underground homo railroad.” Their destination: the Cocksucker, a gay dive bar out in the middle of nowhere.
The Cocksucker is an importantly rendered location. It would be too easy for these queer youths to be wowed by glitter, glamour and dancing at some multi-level club out of Queer as Folk. Instead, the Cocksucker is dingy. There are about twenty to thirty people in the bar and the vibe can be described, generously, as comfortable. Still, this is why queer safe spaces must exist. These kids have been indoctrinated day-after-day that they need to suppress their queerness and fit in with hetero society. Even just the simplicity of a rainbow flag on the wall and being in the presence of other queer people feels like a bresh of fresh air for the audience. For the students of True Directions, it's a wake up call.
For Andre (Douglas Spain), a swishy kid who can’t contain his mannerisms no matter how hard he tries, his eyes light up like he’s made it to gay Disneyland. Even Goth Sinead (Katharine Towne) is visibly struck by the new environment, one where she doesn’t stick out like a sore thumb. Similarly, this is a whole new world for Megan, one she never considered. Is this life at the end of the rainbow? The more worldly Graham (Clea Duvall) acts like she owns the place. So much of why the movie works is because, much like Megan, the audience is always in awe of Graham’s confidence. She always knows True Directions is bullshit and she never seems to let it get to her. That's what makes her third act turn cut so deep.
Couldn't you get lost in Clea Duvall's eyes?The spark between Megan and Graham is clear, only Megan isn’t self aware enough to acknowledge it. Graham cares more about Megan exploring her sexuality than ending up with her. That’s why when a local woman, played by Julie Delpy, giving us an early glimpse of her Before Sunset swagger, saunters up to Megan, Graham implores Megan to dance with her. Megan feels at home in this stranger’s arms, but she’s looking at Graham the whole time. Just to keep her company, Graham starts dancing with Sinead, but Sinead takes the invitation to be more of a confession of feelings. Still, when Graham and Megan lock eyes, their chemistry can’t be denied. Now that Megan feels comfortable knowing that she loves Graham, her dance with Sinead feels like a mini-betrayal. This causes Megan to leave the bar out the back alley and for Graham to follow.
Three cheers for Graham and Megan!
Megan: [after Graham kisses Megan for the first time] I'm not supposed to like you.
Graham: But?
Megan: I wanna do that again.
[Megan kisses Graham]
Megan and Graham share a tender moment in the most romantic of places, crying in the shadow of a dumpster behind a dive bar. You have to start somewhere. Even though it is hardly the most romantic of places, the movie uses its penchant for color to make it standout. The girls are up against a bright red wall, symbolizing the desire Megan has for Graham that she is only now able to let show. The first step of conversion therapy was admitting out loud that you were a homosexual. That’s the same first step for love and desire. Megan’s not just gay, she likes kissing women. She doesn’t want to kiss just any woman, she has the hots for Graham.
Always take a souvenir! If these are sold anywhere, someone get one for me.
This is what makes But I’m a Cheerleader such a sweet, endearing cult classic. It doesn’t just take the piss out of conversion therapy. In fact, the perspective is as sweet and optimistic as our cheerleader protagonist, Megan. All these kids want is to be loved. Some want it so bad, they’ll try and change who they fundamentally are as people. Luckily for Megan and Graham, they can love each other for their true selves. Going to queer spaces and finding community is how young queers can learn who they are and find their real True Direction.
What are your favorite gay moments in a movie? Let us know in the comments.
Reader Comments (3)
I always remember the first scene in Law of desire (1987), the kiss between Julianne Moore and Toni Collete (The hours) and the dance in Happy together.
My favorite performance in this movie is RuPaul’s. Hilarious!
Andre.... now that was a sexy boy! I know his ass is sexy. He was my favorite character in that whole movie. He don't need to be butch for me to love that sexy ass of his. Douglas Spain was great in that film. I love some of the dialogue in that film.... "Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve". Then the 2 ex-ex-gays come out of their house and say, "that does it, we're coming out!"
It was a film that made me realize that there's nothing wrong with being gay though I'm mostly straight but if George Clooney or Brad Pitt wants to sleep with me. I'd be a fool to turn that down because those are handsome handsome men. Yet, I'd like to also have Andre as well. I'll cook for him. I'll take care of him.