Drag Race RuCap: "All Queens go to Heaven"

Is this heaven...or hell?

CLÁUDIO ALVES: This week, the talk of the town within Drag Race fandom is length. It's not inches we're talking about, sadly, but minutes. After that supersized premiere, episode 3 of season 15 brings us down to reality and the format the show is taking for its new home of MTV – 40-minute episodes. Last time RuPaul's Drag Race had such limited runtimes was Season 9, but they had less competing queens. Even after Irene DuBois' elimination last episode, we're still at 15 bitches, making this episode a frantic amuse-bouche that tastes unbalanced, unstable, unhinged...

NICK TAYLOR: It’s a strange episode. No mini-challenge, no aside with the judge’s panel deliberating by their lonesome, five seconds per queen on the runway, and a palpable sense throughout the episode that we’re rushing. Rushing to what who can say...

The compression makes it hard to appreciate the glimmers of talent and personality that come through. Even Sasha Colby’s win, deserving as it is, wasv truncated by how quickly we rush through her (supposedly shaky) rehearsals and the finished videos. Do you think this format will make any sense once we lose more queens? 

CLÁUDIO: I hope so! Next week’s Snatch Game sounds like a recipe for disaster in this 40-minute package, especially considering we’re getting a double serving of snatches, whatever that means.

Team Amethyst is doomed from the start.

Before despairing over the next episode, however, let’s consider the one we have before us. It starts in the usual way with a post-elimination chat that sees Loosey outraged at her bottom placement. Much ado about nothing, really, but it serves to establish one of the episode’s narratives. The same can be said for Princess Poppy’s confidence later on.

NICK: Poppy yelling “Fuck you Irene!” during her confessional really spelled out her doom. Her cockiness manifested as taunts felt like karmic setup. In fairness, I’m sure her basic-ass runway hurt her more than her performance in the challenge, which wasn’t radically more bland or forgettable than most of the queens. But she was still pretty bad, and it looks like her comedic sensibilities were very informative to her team’s awful skit. Did anyone in Poppy’s team stand out to you, for better or worse?

Quality TV!

CLÁUDIO: The challenge this week was to write and perform a little skit about the queer afterlife, imagining a comedic vision of gay heaven. Team Anetra (Anetra+Luxx+Marcia+Salina+Sasha) worked much better than Team Amethyst (Amethyst+Aura+Loosey+Poppy+Spice), for sure, but nobody did well. Indeed, the behind-the-scenes footage of the shoot - short as it was - did a good job of highlighing how everyone had issues, how unfunny most of their ideas were. Truthfully, around this time I started to wonder if the episode's short runtime was a blessing in disguise. After all, do we really want 20 more minutes of this mess?

And then there's the unhappily-formed, badly-named, tragically-incompetent Team Leftovers (Jax+Malaysia+Mistress+Robin+Sugar) yet. What did you think of the pre-filming tension between the Spice-less Sugar and her teammates? 

NICK: I can get Jax’s frustration with Sugar lobbing out ideas that no one’s interested in, but as Sugar herself points out, it turns out her teammates didn’t actually have anything else! The skit plays as heaven for a Drag Race fan and hell for the queens themselves, which means the one joke is that Sugar’s teammates don’t like her. And honestly, Sugar committed to the bit pretty well! She was the only member of her team who had an actual character. I don’t get Jax being the only member of Team Leftovers in the bottom when she had that sick-ass runway, but she, Robin, Mistress, and Malaysia all dropped the ball in a very big way. Sugar should feel satisfied with her work, and I hope her Untucked pep talk from Mistress helps her self confidence going forward.

In a similar way, Loosey La Duca was the shining light of Team Amethyst. Their failed attempts at crude humor made me cringe more than the blandness of Team Leftovers, but were they actually worse? They at least had an idea for their Heaven that fit the challenge, albeit a poorly executed one, and I liked the mimosa in a mimosa gag. I don’t even think the Dolly gag was that inspired, and the praise the judges threw at Loosey suggests they saw a lot more of that impression than we did. 

CLÁUDIO: Oh, for sure. The judging felt heavily informed by things left on the cutting room floor. Before we get into that, however, there are some more matters to mention, including the only good team - Anetra’s.

Forget "The Creation of Adam." Paint THIS on the Sistine Chapel.

Theirs was the only concept specific yet simple enough to survive the truncated sketch structure, centering the entire thing around a dragtastic version of God herself, Sasha Colby. She steps up to the challenge, neck-snapping her way to a much-deserved victory. Honestly, I wouldn’t have been mad if the producers had decreed she was the only top in a room full of bottoms, repeating the Snatch Game gag from last season.

NICK: Sasha was so fucking funny, nailing her one big joke with so much verve that it never wore out its welcome. Her look for God was great, too - the hair was so goddamn bouncy. No offense to the other two tops this week, and with full credit to Team Anetra for being so uniformly competent, but Sasha’s win was hard to argue with. Is her narrative going to be an unstoppable march to the crown that Drag Race hasn’t seen the likes of in several seasons? 

CLÁUDIO: She might be heading down the same route as Symone who looked like a sure winner from very early on. 

Mistress and Malaysia are at the center of the episode's most emotional moment.

Back in the werkroom, The Tragedy Mirror™ is in full effect, with Malaysia crying as she talks about her relationship with religion as a gay man. There’s not much time to ponder this, rushing through the emotion to the main stage, where RuPaul is dressed according to the runway theme (Metallica) and looking golden gorgeous. TS Madison joins the panel for the first time this season, shining bright as the best of the bunch. Maren Morris is also there, intent on embodying the color beige, sartorially and spiritually. 

Now, dear Nick, let’s turn into The Film Experience’s own version of Raja and Raven. It’s time for Fashion Photo RuView!

First up, Anetra walks down the runway in a high-cut bodysuit and billowing silver coat. I appreciate how much she looks like the live-action version of some obscure 80s cartoon, an aesthetic further supported by the variations she adds to her signature mug. While not especially groundbreaking, it’s a good showing. That said, as it’ll happen with many of this week’s runway looks, I question the shoe choice.

NICK: The sheen from that silver looks like she’s glistening. I for one like the shoes - the shape of the heel seems of a piece with the curvature in the shoulders, the waist, on the breasts. It’s serving moon goddess more than some other competitors aiming for the same. 

Next is Sasha Colby, looking like a Phoenix arisen from the scrap heap. I like how her feathers create the impression of something jagged that’s actually very controlled and meticulously crafted. I’m with you on the shoes here, though, which probably could have gone farther. The giant hoop earrings are a fun touch, and the mug is stamped beautifully. 

CLÁUDIO: You’re getting phoenix, I’m getting showgirl cockerel, but it doesn’t matter, for the conclusion is the same - Sasha looks stunning. Who doesn’t love a good glistening cock from time to time? Moreover, who can resist the allure of a dangerous drag goddess looking glam while stomping the runway. Get too close, and you’ll cut yourself, darling.

It’s tough for anyone to follow Sasha’s act, but Salina EsTitties falls especially short of measuring up. The idea is fun, cosplaying as a Los Angeles streetlamp cum streetwalker. However, like last episode, her execution betrays what could have been a great idea. I’m especially disappointed with the wig choice, both because it’s a choppy, ugly thing and because it ruins the lines of the outfit.

NICK: The wig is an absolute choice. I’m also confused by her decision to place the street names all over her body - there’s too many for them to work as censorship bars, and they make it hard to appreciate her silhouette from the multiple angles of coverage her runway gets.

CLÁUDIO: Luxx Noir London is next, walking down the runway in a flurry of gold. From head to toe, she looks like a supermodel strutting her stuff, and I’m here for it. Is this golden goddess shtick the most original concept for a metallics theme? Of course not, but it works beautifully in Luxx’s taloned hands. Moreover, in a week full of stiff, cumbersome-looking costumes, this outfit stands out for its lightness, floating like a flame made fashion.

NICK: It’s so fluid, and the gold pops beautifully against her skin tone. Luxx did everything right with this runway. My favorite look of the night.

Up next is Marcia Marcia Marcia, doing a Tin Man inspired outfit. I really like what she’s wearing - using rust as your angle on a metallic challenge is a pretty creative idea that none of her fellow queens replicated. The wig and the headpiece are nice, though I wish she’d kept the theme up with the stockings. But to echo the judge’s critiques last week, I wish she had used more makeup. I’d have loved to see her go full Detox and paint herself silver to commit fully to the Tin Man riff,. Anything more than a boop on the nose, please! Marcia’s doing good stuff, but I wish there was more to celebrate. 

CLÁUDIO: I get the idea, applaud the creativity even, but can’t quite say I’m in love with the final result. Makeup critiques aside, the tin-like stiffness is purposeful but unappealing, while the plume of steam headpiece isn’t very readable from a distance, looking more like an infantile feather adornment. 

Amethyst comes next, wearing an assortment of online-purchased apparel that Irene was quick to clock on Twitter. Still, you don’t need custom shit to look good, and it’s hard to be mad at this fabulous fit, risky boots included. I quibble with the lack of panty, the nose contour, and the tinsel wig while celebrating the general effect - hell, the Diana Ross-ness of the concept is probably what saved her from elimination. 

NICK: I think a lot of the fluid golden goddess praise we threw at Luxx could apply here, though the comparison doesn’t quite help miss thing. But it's a big step up from last week’s runway. The sleeves and cape were instrumental to her surviving her lip sync.

Irene was also quick to clock Princess Poppy’s runway as an online order, which I’m sure she did with malicious glee. Poppy going blue for her metallic skirt is the kind of risk that might have paid off if the look itself were captivating. I did think for a minute about the growing discourse around Drag Race as expensive pageantry that’s ballooned so far past its humbler origins, but even by the standards of its earliest seasons this would’ve been clocked as uninteresting and lackluster. The R2-D2 comparison does her no favors, given all the buttons and gizmos on that bad boy, but I did love her sparkly sapphire vulva.

CLÁUDIO: The costume is uninteresting, for sure, but this is a failure of styling above all else. A bolder makeup job, some paper talons, and a less conventional wig - or no wig at all - could have played on the contrast between girlishness and inhuman futurism. Maybe some white elements to tie that ugly lacing to the rest of the look. Moreover, such small changes wouldn’t have been costly. This just reeks of a lack of time and/or imagination. 

Spice is an example of good styling decisions saving a look from being basic and bland. Sure, this is bviously expensive, but  a cruder execution of the same outfit would have still worked. That robotic pooch is the best accessory of all, but I commend the use of metallic tights and the silliness of those Christmas balls bobbling over her head. It’s fun!

Confession time - I may be warming up to the twins.

NICK: It’s a very fun look! Spice may have made no impression in her skit, but I kinda loved this runway, which reminded me of Hatsune Miku in the best ways. The lil pup’s a great prop, and the blue metallic leggings look like they would‘ve helped Poppy a lot.

Next is Aura Mayari, looking like a Power Rangers villain. It’s a good outfit and she sells it well. The weaving greens and golds are serving battle-ready Persephone more than moon goddess, which maybe says more about Aura than the quality of the runway. Still, I can easily imagine what Michelle Visage would have to say about this look if she’d had the chance. Given the blandness of her performance and her basic runway, I would have absolutely thrown her and at least one other queen in the bottom three over Jax.

CLÁUDIO: Did Miss Bicep say anything in the challenge? If she did, I don’t remember. Even so, I feel like I’m more into this look than you are. My only major issue is that the top half doesn’t match the bottom. If you go through the trouble of wearing a helmet and gauntlets, I think you should take the armor motif down to the legs, the shoes. Love the extra-long ponytail and crazy-faced presentation.

To follow the green goddess, we have a rainbow warrior in the form of Loosey LaDuca. This bitch understood the need for full-body armor when going for a fantasy feel, queering up the general look with big boobs and big expensive style. Still, Loosey’s runway walk is stiff as fuck, and that wig is criminal. Why didn’t the judges point out its matronly look? Am I crazy for hating the thing?

NICK: On the one hand, she’s absolutely offering the full body armor fantasy we want from Aura. The wig is absolutely giving Jeannie Gold, Wedding Planner Extraordinaire, and I don’t think you can just say you’re serving “Judy Jetson realness” as a cover. The gold rims and rainbow sheen are gorgeous, but it’s a bit too busy. Anetra got away with a lot of metallic textures but the look guides your eyes up and down its different curves and pieces. Dare I say it, I think the armor is wearing Loosey.

Next up is my beloved Jax, wearing a look that hit a very similar sweet spot as Jaida Essence Hall’s Blade-inspired black runway on All Stars 7. I don’t know shit about Street Fighter and can’t really speak to it as a reference, but I just loved the metal-armed military runway paired with that unimpeachable mug, the huge hoop earrings and even bigger hair. It’s a fabulous masc/femme play. Is Jax the trade of the season? Also, what do you think of the boots? And do you agree with me that this runway should have saved her from the bottom three, especially since the judges themselves only had praise for this runway?

CLÁUDIO: I’m really into the way Jax plays with masculinity in their drag, hinting at a level of butch androgyny rarely seen on the Drag Race runway. I like the boots, even if my heart longs for a military shoe retrofitted into glam heels rather than this ready-to-wear clubbing apparel. Beyond that, a bit more robotic detailing might have helped sell the look further, extending the metal-man aspect past the arms. Still, those are minor complaints when considering the big picture. Should it have saved her from the bottom? Maybe so.

Robin Fierce hits the runway next, and, by this point in the episode, I’m getting tired of the golden goddess approach. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a perfectly solid execution, if a skosh flimsier than ideal. Love the ringed wig and the javelin. Would have appreciated a mug that integrated the metallic hues rather than the standard signature look we get. In any case, this bitch is ready to film the Season 5 promo. 

NICK: Stick some horns on her head and she outdoes the weak-ass Sagittarius runways from Season 11’s Zodiac challenge. I agree that I want more from the makeup, but overall it’s a good if not inspired runway. I confess that she was the other queen I had imagined would make the bottom over Jax. 

Mistress Isabelle Brooks is next, wielding a ginormous gold chain. The mug is, once again, absolutely exquisite, and I like how the skirt itself has chains running across the sides of her midriff. The flared, crinkle-cut gold shoulders and giant white hair almost create a divine framing around her face. As with last week, I wouldn’t put Mistress’s look at the top of the pack, but she sure knows how to present herself.

CLÁUDIO: Between her bid for Misstress Congeniality on Untucked, and her recent candidature to Mother of the Year, Isabelle Brooks was a quiet force, dominating this week’s episode from the sidelines.

I love her look from the ruffles up, giant chain included, but can’t quite sign off on the mini-dress. Nude illusion is a tricky bitch. To properly work, it should always be flush against the body. Here, instead of giving off the idea of a dress held together by chainlinks, her garment looked like a gold tube with random beige panels sewn into it. That mug, though - MASTERPIECE!

From Proud Mama to Toth Daughter, we arrive at Sugar, who’s matching her sister a tiny bit less than last week. If Spice was serving mid-00s Nickelodeon realness, the pink one (so terrify) is more Disney Channel. This look is pure Zenon: Girl from the 21st Century with a Bratz-like twist. While still hungering to see the twins branch out from their drag as childhood reference, this feels like a step in the right direction. 

NICK: I’ll start slightly ungenerously and say their looks read as DLC skins for a video game character - different enough to be their own things but still very much of the same spirit. That said, I agree that their looks are heading in the right place, and I’m liking the twins separately and as a unit more than I was expecting. If nothing else, Sugar using pink for this challenge feels fairly inspired. This was a very good week for her all around.

Last but not least is Malaysia Babydoll Foxx, wearing a silver dress with a rabbit-ear-looking wig. Love that both of the big girls had chains on their runways. The silhouette’s great, the mug is stamped, and I love how the chains are used as a necklace and to frame the top of her breastplate, but I sorta wish all the chains dangling off her midriff had some sort of symmetry or uniformity. Still, it’s mostly a great look.

CLÁUDIO: What most frustrates me about this look is how the embellishments are only applied to the front of the gown. When she walks away, the effect is completely lost. These girls should remember that their looks will be appreciated from all angles. This is why you must always sketch the back of the costume when conceiving a look. In any case, she looks stunning when seen from her best angle. Love the wig.

And so, we arrive at the judging portion of the episode, just as rushed and slimmed down as everything else. Sasha is the obvious winner, with Luxx and Loosey completing the top 3. I might have switched Miss London for Sugar, but the conclusions of the judges were fair nevertheless. Like you, I might have kept Jax from the bottom.

When it came time to the lip-sync, Poppy and Amethyst performed “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” by Diana Ross. While the gold girl tries to embody the chosen singer, the blue bitch does way too much. In the end, it’s Princess Poppy’s time to sashay away, and I can’t say I’m heartbroken over her fate. I’m only saddened by the fact of another lackluster LSFYL. Please, don’t let this turn into another season 9, lip-sync-wise.

Were you similarly disappointed, or am I just being a grump?

NICK: It’s not a great lip sync! I get the Poppy defenders, given the high energy of her performance. Doing comedy probably registers more as a “take” on the song than Amethyst trying to channel the song (though her look helps a lot), and Poppy interacted with the queens in the back, which I love on principle. But it’s still way too much for this song. Amethyst wins, and could very well be the first queen to earn assassin status without actually delivering a killer lip sync since Pearl. I almost want one of the high-tier contestants to slip up just so we can get some good food. 

Big props to Sasha for her win. I’d have liked to see Sugar make the top three over Loosey, if we’re gonna bump someone for her, but as with last week, the challenge winner and lip sync loser are hard to argue with. I can’t even say I’m cautiously optimistic for the two-tier Snatch Game, but it’s an opportunity for mess and chaos, and we love mess on RuPaul’s Drag Race. Whatever else happens, we’ll power through it together.

Goodbye Poppy!

Comments

[Philip H.]

This season is... interesting.

Lord, please don't let them ruin snatch game next week. It seems like a really bad idea.

[lemonzestysour1]

This rucap is longer than the episode :D

Why when drag race is at it's peak are they shortening the episodes with the biggest cast ever? It makes sense later in the season (I would welcome it about the top 7 onwards!) but give us the longer episodes for now while you can.

I would have put Aura, Jax and Poppy in the bottom with Jax in the bottom 2 with that attitude.

Nervous for snatch game - what on earth are they going to do in the time that they have :D