Drag Race RuCap: "Monopulence!"

by Cláudio Alves

Monopoly sure looks different since last I played it.

If you only come to these RuCaps in search of Nick Taylor's dazzling wit, I'm sad to report that, this week, you'll have to settle for little old me. Our beloved co-Rucapper was busy with a trip to New York, so, like Elphaba, I'm flying solo. But only for this design challenge episode, where drag queens celebrated the most friendship-breaking tabletop game ever, giving us a flavor of Logo-style messiness. For a while, it felt like we were back in those early Drag Race seasons, when the claws came out and nobody left an episode unscathed. So, settle in for drama and some dubious fashions, as we dive headfirst into "Monopulence!"…

The episode starts with some post-non-elimination shade. Everyone in the Werk Room, apart from Hormona Lisa herself, would have liked to see the bitch sent home at the end of last week's Talent Show. While RuPaul's hand-picked protégé has exchanges some cordial nastiness with Kori King, she does away with any nicety when it comes to Joella, the season's delusional queen par excellence. She hasn't even started proclaiming herself an LA drag icon, and her sisters are already coming for her. Hormona is especially critical of her apparent duplicity, not to mention the off-the-rack frippery and unglued wig. 

As much as I am on Hormona's side, it's hard to dislike Joella. She's the epitome of a winning reality show personality. Consider that, just as they're de-dragging, our wannabee Sasha Colby confides in Acacia that if Miss Forgot managed to defeat Hormona, imagine what Joella could do. It's hilarious to watch Acacia realize what her sister just said. That country gal can't catch a break. Indeed, the next day in the Werk Room, Ru shows up with a Monopoly-inspired mini-game that involves picking random supersized cards to get a monetary reward. Acacia immediately gets thrown in jail because of course she is.

In the end, everyone gets a nice cash tip provided by Monopoly as the episode's sponsor. They also get a color assigned to them, which will be the basis of the week's design challenge, for which the queens get a bounty of materials they'll have to share within each color group. Hormona Lisa, Lexi Love, and Lucky Starzz get orange. Arrietty, Lana Ja'Rae, and Suzie Toot will be scarlet ladies on the catwalk. Acacia Forgot, Kori King, and Lydia Butthole Kollins get the toughest hue of the bunch with bright yellow, while Jewels Sparkles, Joella, and Onya Nurve contend with Michelle Visage's much-hated green. Crystal Envy and Sam Star are left with blue.

Crucially, though they'll be pulling from the same pool of resources, this is not a teams challenge and each queen will be judged individually. But in between the girls' sewing session, Ru drops a metaphorical grenade in the form of the Rate-a-Queen results. Last year, when she pulled a similar stunt, the host provided vague rankings that didn't reveal each contestant's individual vote—this year, caution's been thrown to the wind, and every vote is plain to see. Tensions rise, and there's lots of arguing, especially when the group becomes aware of Lana and Arrietty's little alliance. Onya is incensed at the unfairness of it all, which is funny considering what's to come. 

Unlike other design-focused episodes of recent vintage, "Monopulence!" spends a lot of time observing the queens work, from concept to finished garment with some RuPaul intervention in the middle. Some of the storylines forming include Joella's utter lack of experience in building her own costumes, which is perplexing for someone who was so confident coming into the competition. C'mon, queens, it's season 17! At this point, you know you'll have at least one design challenge to contend with on the way to the crown – take some sewing lessons, research some easy patterns at home, anything. Even after Mama Ru expresses doubts over her bodysuit idea, Joella has no alternative. Her path is fixed because a simple bodysuit is the only thing she can manage on a technical level.

Lucky Starzzz is similarly troubled. This crafty queen – who I presumed would do an amazing job with such a challenge – is stuck on the traditional textiles provided by production. She was obviously counting on some unconventional materials, the very basis of her drag, and didn't prepare for anything like this. Like Joella, she doesn't even know how to operate a sewing machine. Alarm bells were ringing in my ears every time Lucky came back on screen like a Monica Beverly Hillz-looking Eeyore, moping through the Werk Room with a storm cloud overhead. I was similarly concerned about Lexi, whose planned runway stunt, inspired by a Moschino show, could easily end in disaster.

That's not the biggest narrative Lexi gets involved with, however. Off-screen, Hormona Lisa took her gown to finish in the hotel room, where she presumably decorated it with rhinestones she'd brought from home rather than the trimmings provided by production. Seeing this as breaking the rules, Lexi intervened, so elimination day starts with Hormona begrudgingly ripping the sparkles off her project. Many queens over the years have talked about taking their design pieces back to their hotel rooms so they could spend the night finishing the things, so that part of the story isn't especially notorious. The use of "forbidden" materials is.

True, RuPaul mentions that the queens can use jewelry from home, but that doesn't traditionally extend to individual rhinestones. It's one of those unsaid rules that might have resulted in a scolding from the judges on the main stage. In some ways, Lexi might have saved her sister. But then, why are rumors flying around of other queens doing the same in this very episode, using stones from home with no repercussions? This is not the only drama over unspoken Drag Race rules, of course, since there's a whole other mess with Onya and Jewels (who looks remarkably like Twin Peaks' Blackie O'Reilly). It all starts on the first day of work when the Cleveland queen asks her Latina sister for the green trim on the latter's table.

Jewels says no, explaining she'll be using it later on. To confirm this, the editors pepper in confessionals of her detailing her strategy – starting with the time-consuming matter of ruching her dress's green velour body and then decorating it with the selected trims. The problem arises when Jewels finishes her sewing and realizes Onya took the beads and rhinestones for herself anyway. She steams on it overnight and then unleashes all her pent-up outrage the next day, beginning with some passive-aggressive gossiping before coming for Onya's ass. I can't say I condone what Miss Nurve did, and her defenses sound nonsensical to my ears. 

Nevertheless, Jewels didn't deal with it in the best manner, and the editors needn't have gone for the jugular so shamelessly, framing Onya as a villain and setting the stage for an online dogpile by Jewels' fans. RuPaul's Drag Race has a following that is historically prone to unleashing all hell on Black queens, and Onya is the latest on a long list. I feel bad for her even though I believe she was wrong. Oh well, other storylines include Sam reminiscing about how it was her nana who taught the would-be queen to sew. It's a nice humanizing moment that serves as prelude for a fabulous Lexi confessional where she speaks of warming up to the bitch she once thought had too much SheDevil blood in her. I don't know about you, but I screamed.

On the main stage, RuPaul looks a dream in a multi-colored number, while Ts Madison has finally found her way out of the fashion funk she was in last week. Michelle looks like Michelle, and Sandra Bernhard joins the panel as this episode's special guest judge. Why did they bring her in for a design challenge rather than a comedy one? No clue, but I assume it must have been some kind of schedule conflict. I'm holding hope they're saving Law Roach for the ball. In any case, it's time for the runway presentation and category is Monopulence! You own everything… 

First on the runway, we got Lucky Starzzz and I cannot lie, this is an unmitigated disaster. The worst part is that the dress she came up with isn't all that bad when you consider it for a moment or two. The big issue is the styling, complete with a sad, limp hard front and horrible makeup. Lucky's mug looks ashen, as lifeless as the orange unit on her head and as incongruous as the pearl necklace she's draped over herself. Nobody was asking her for versatility yet, making this an unforced error to end all errors.

Hormona Lisa comes next, in a goldfish-inspired mermaid gown that screams old-school drag opulence. It's a tad simple without the rhinestones, but, as she pointed out in Untucked, gluing them on and then taking them off gives the velour a scale-like texture that makes it look more interesting in close-up than it might have in different circumstances. I only wish she had picked another material for her wrap. Polyester organza, like polysatin, always looks cheap, no matter how much you try to elevate it.

Lexi Love was saved by her expert runway theatrics because her design is nothing special. More than meeting the brief where it's at, this queen's strategy was more about molding the challenge to her pre-established style and persona. It's not bad work, just perfectly safe. Would she have landed closer to the bottom if her fabric bolt train hadn't unrolled as she had planned?

Suzie Toot takes a similar approach to Lexi's, taking the idea of opulence and philtering it through a very specific brand. In this case, our tap dancing gal has devised an ensemble straight out of some pre-Code movie's masquerade ball scene. The body is right, the styling looks elegant, but the mug could do with some fine-tuning. You can do Old Hollywood caricature without looking like an extra in a Fellini production. Give me some Dietrich-esque approach to the small lips and pencil-thin eyebrows, please. Just once is enough.

Consider how Arrietty rightly surmised her signature mug would look a tad odd with this appeal to classic glamour. So, she lost the bright white nose contour that turns her face into a forest elf by widening the bridge into deer-like proportion. That said, even if she hadn't gone for a more conventional face, there's no way Arrietty would have missed a top placement. Her red gown is simply gorgeous, beautifully realized, and styled to perfection. That wig brings it all together, adorned with costume jewelry and reminiscent of early 20th-century Orientalism.

Lana is basic, sorry to report. There's nothing ostensibly wrong with her creation, it's just boring. Also, the way she used those broches provides a terrific contrast to Arrietty's work. One queen's design looks purposeful, the other is perfunctory. Still, the mug looks gorgeous, harsh and striking, yet keeping with the more conventional glamour this challenge demands.

Here's the thing – Acacia's multi-tiered yellow lace gown is very well constructed. So much so that it could pass as a piece brought from home. It's also in tune with her 80s-themed country-infused drag persona, serving Best Little Whorehouse in Texas realness. Does that mean I like it? No, it does not. It's just unappealing to my eyes, and the mismatch between her skin tone and the breastplate is giving Plane Jane. In other words, an effort worthy of the safe placement, nothing lower, nothing higher.

Continuing with the bordello vibes, Kori King looks like Sesame Street's premier prostitute. While well-executed, this faux-fur monstrosity in no way, shape, or form suggests opulence, with the Daisy Duck shoes pushing it even further into an uncanny kids' cartoon tramp territory. As Ts Madison suggested, there's nothing wrong with being a hooker, but in this challenge's context, you better be an expensive one.

In theory, I like what Lydia's going for. The Butthole has created a costume so cumbersome it basically makes modeling it down the runway impossible. She has to drag it across the space, drop it, and then arrange herself into a pose. It's very MET Gala, very glamorously impractical. That, more than the mess of fur and satin she's got going on, delivers the concept of opulence. And yet, I can't call it successful. Again, a safe placement feels apt.

Joella, girl, if you're going to be talking shit to everyone in the room, you better back it up with some actual drag excellence. This is not it, and even the styling is disappointing.

Onya, on the other hand, is all about the styling. The dress she came up with is rather rough around the edges, but she bling'd it out to perfection, creating a whole rich bitch character to present the judges. There are technical faults here and there, but the overall effect is too delicious to resist. The matching quellazaire is the cherry on top – fantastic work, well worth the thievery.

Which brings us to Jewels whose ruching is impressive, but not enough to save her design. The way she devised the cone breasts is ugly as sin, and trimming the middle of the dress only draws attention to how crooked it is, bunching all over the place because of the elastic she used on it. Also, what on earth is she wearing on her head?

Sam Star is a revelation, going for pageant-y, old-school glamour that wouldn't be out of place in a drag production of Hello, Dolly! A vision in bright sapphire, her work is immaculate – even more so than Arrietty's – and screams expensive like nothing else on that runway. I might have preferred her opera sleeves without the feathers on top as they compete with the dangling beads. Still, that's a minor quibble. She really is Trinity the Tuck's daughter.

 

Finally, Crystal Envy presents a nice velour gown with an interesting bow detail on the upper arms and a midcentury-esque headwrap enlarged to ridiculous proportions. The dangling earrings look weird with the rest of the head-styling but, apart from that, this is a solid effort that might have landed her in the top with a different crop of queens. 

When all is said and done, Joella, Lucky, and Kori are this week's bottoms, while Onya, Sam, and Arrietty comprise the bottoms. The judging is fair across the board, with no particular judgment striking me as egregious. Not that Bernhard contributes much to it, mind you. Thankfully, Ts Madison is in the house to provide some entertaining reads and actual constructive advice. Honestly, the panel seems so enamored with Onya that I'm surprised she doesn't win. Perhaps the story producers informed Ru of what happened backstage. Giving her the victory would have certainly made her into something of an early-season villain, so justice prevailed, and Sam Star was declared as this maxi challenge winner. After two weeks of mediocrity, it's nice to see the Southern Belle show off what she does best and emerge as a contender. She is no filler queen. 

As far as the bottoms are concerned, Kori never felt in actual danger, being quickly dismissed to the back with one of Ru's best jokes in a while – your yellow bird was saying "cheap, cheap" – which means Joella and Lucky must lip sync for their lives.

They do so to the sound of Paula Abdul's "The Way That You Love Me." Longtime Drag Race fans may presume the blessing of Abdul would give us a legendary lip sync. After such battles as Raja vs. Carmen, Alyssa vs. Coco, and Adore vs. Trinity, one would expect so. But no, Joella and Lucky are as disappointing as performers as they were as couturiers. The latter has energy but cannot pace herself or make the stunts feel organic. At points, she also seems to be messing up the words. Joella wins by default, not missing a beat, even when her dance moves leave a lot to be desired. This time, the Badonka Dunk doesn't save her and Michelle remains dry.

I could not, in a million years, have guessed that Lucky Starzzz was to be season 17's porkchop but here we are. I'll miss her and the creativity she'd have surely brought to the runway. Next week is a comedy challenge built around commercials inspired by past Drag Race moments. Let's hope the episode is as fun, bitchy, and overall entertaining as this one.

Previous RuCaps:

• Episode 1: “Squirrel Games”
• Episode 2: "Drag Queens Got Talent"

Comments

[DAVID S]

@Cláudio-

Would you consider these type of recaps for THE TRAITORS (US)?

I'm not sure if you watch, but this past episode (Episode 4) gave some of the best reality tv moments in herstory... the final roundtable with Bob the Drag Queen and poor Zac Efron(!) being brought up and shaded (lol) were iconic.

Please consider!! <3