Who "won" the Globes last night? Jacob Tremblay did, that's who.

That was not a trophy statistics question but a figurative one.

Proposal: T'was actually tiny Jacob Tremblay from Room who won the Golden Globes hands down. He was not nominated (though he is at the forthcoming SAG Awards) but he had his name praised from the stage via golden girl Brie Larson. She claimed that the award and her performance were half his as she took Best Actress, Drama. He stood up to watch her with his internet-fancied dad right beside him. Later, met his favorite Star Wars character "Poe" at an after-party (photo via A24)

So basically, Jacob Tremblay won the night.

Well, and Oscar Isaac too. But Oscar Isaac had basically already won the season... the world... at life. 

Previously on Golden Globes

Golden Globe Winners: That Damn Bear Movie and the Martian Surge.

Technical issues with my TV and my phone and my computer tonight?  -- someone did some voodoo on TFE for the booziest Hollywood party this year! They suck but their timing is pure evil genius so we bow down. Obviously there will be a bit more Globes tomorrow but for tonight, a quick list of winners, super brief thoughts and amusing tweets after the jump...

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Golden Globe Arrivals

07:00 The 73rd Annual Golden Globes are here. And we're seated and not yet drunk, far from the Beverly Hilton (NYC to be precise).  I'm getting a late start. I blame pizza cravings. As I sat down with half of a pizza in my mouth -- I don't play around! -- Svelte Kirsten Dunst in autoerotic black (damn girl) was talking about her recent diet to plump up a bit for Fargo "you know... bread and cheese". Dear reader it's like I was on TV and she was making fun of me from home, the cheese dribbling down my chin.

07:08 Earlier on the TV we also learned that Alicia Vikander went sky-diving (okay) that maybe don't surprise Jamie Lee Curtis with a question about her mother's Golden Globe win for Psycho  ("you know... my mom's been gone a long time... we're moving forward... I'm happy to be here representing my show") and Jennifer Lopez had difficult describing the color of her dress. 

it's kind of a mustardy, yellow, marigoldy... I don't know."

I think you do know JLo.

07:12 Distracted momentarily by Monty-- who has refused to do his cat pundtiry this year. Sorry people. He's old, so give him a break -- I missed the context of Amy Schumer saying she has "old lady fingers" Anyone? 

07:18 At some point Joann Froggat from Downton Abbey reveals that she stans Cate Blanchett hard. This did not seem worth typing at the time because who doesn't. But still... She does.

07:20 Channing & Jenna (Mrs Tatum) don't sound like they're lying at all when they express surprise that people keep talking about the Lipsynch Battle. Which either suggests they are in a very tiny celebrity bubble world or they're good at playing their 'who us?' chill married couple persona.

07: 30 Kate Hudson and The Rock talking about Halloween for some reason 

The flash of darkness across Kate Hudson's face when Ryan Seacrest said he'd never made it to her Halloween party is the best movie of 2016

— Richard Lawson (@rilaws) January 11, 2016

07:31 We need to talk about Rooney Mara's braid.

07:34 Jacob Tremblay is already such a pro. Cackling when he stifles a "Duh!" and politely answers questions about whether he's seen The Force Awakens.

Finish her! pic.twitter.com/bkFiJhudu6

— Jarett Wieselman (@JarettSays) January 11, 2016

07:35 Amy Adams to Ryan Seacrest:

I'm so bad at winning awards!"

Tough problems.

07:42  Rami Malek reveals that he has been friends with Kirsten Dunst for a long time. Interesting.

07:45 Very cute exchange between Jennifer Lawrence and Katy Perry. Katy Perry saw Joy by herself in her sweatpants crying/inspired. 'I can make it in the world!' JLaw chuckles. 'I think you've already made it.'

07:46 I can listen to Saoirse Ronan talk about anything forever. I sometimes cant even register what she's going on about I'm so crushing on the vocals. Finally Saoirse says, without confidence, "I think I'm sitting at Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence's table?" Doesn't this seem like something you'd commit to memory as soon as you heard?! 

08:00 ooh, show is starting. Byeeeee

Golden Globe Predictions - All Film Categories

I'll be live-blogging / live-tweeting the Golden Globes tonight but just from habitual need, not from any place of confidence, it's time for the predictions. I'm hiding EVERYTHING after the jump so that nobody will think to look here when the Globes are actually in session. Tricky! 

COMEDY/MUSICAL FILMS

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Link Linker Linkiest Linking Links

New York Post has wise words for Netflix on their strange feet dragging for Season 2 of Jessica Jones
Slate Movie Club 2015 closes I'm assuming you read all 18 entries. They were A-MA-ZING. My favorite Movie Club by Slate ever I think. Mark Harris, Dana Stevens, Amy Nicholson, David Ehrlich, and Dan Kois outdid themselves. 
Decider great piece by Joe on the rise of the bad seen as villain in Star Wars: The Force Awakens and other blockbusters 
Decider Joe also counts down the 10 times Globes were more fun than Oscars (10? This list could go to 1000) but there's a massive typo in his post because it says "7." [sic] by the part about Elizabeth Taylor slurring "GLADIAAAAATOR"  

 

THR excerpt of a new interesting book  "Starflacker" from a longtime PR pro Dick Guttman
The Guardian Anthony Hopkins and Sir Ian McKellen remade the Oscar nominated film The Dresser (1983) for the BBC in 2015- how did I miss this news? 
The Wrap Annihilation, a female led sci-fi picture from Alex Garland (Ex Machina) may star Tessa Thompson and Gina Rodriguez
Variety 33 people will be honored at the Academy's annual Scientific and Technical Awards

Towleroad So John Boyega is just a wee bit shy of how fun he seems so far in public. He's already put the kabosh on the gay Star Wars rumor saying that it's all in Oscar Isaac's head  
The Envelope a video chat with Michael B Jordan about Creed. 
Vanity Fair Ryan Coogler would be just the guy to direct the Hamilton movie adaptation. Make it happen world.
Tracking Board looks at series orders from various TV distributors (we don't call them networks anymore, right, since they're are so many ways to get tv?). Netflix has a series called Gypsy. Unfortunately it's not a musical about the stripper. 
Pajiba pays tribute to Brie Larson's social media game  

#tbt to when all I listened to was the Cats the Musical soundtrack while writing my first feature screenplay. Yes, I am wearing this to the golden globes - thanks for asking!

A photo posted by Brie (@brielarson) on Jan 7, 2016 at 2:07pm PST

Top Tens & Best Of Lists
Yes, they're still going on. Check out: John Oursler's which has Phoenix and Tangerine and The Tribe; Kyle Turner takes a more holistic 'best of' approach of with all sorts of personal notes and thus personal obsessions like Noah Baumbach, Spectre, and such; David Poland published his but without commentary of any kind. I don't even know if they're in order

Oscar Confusions
Voting has closed. I love how utterly perplexed almost every professional and amateur pundit is this year. The guilds and precursors have been all over the place. Kris Tapley tracks the events that happened while balloting was going on. This is an absolute joy if you like the unpredictable AND you don't have a particular film you can't live wihtout. Unfortunately I have two masterpieces to worry (which is more than usual!) so I'm having trouble enjoying the will they or won't they nerves.  But I'll start doing final predictions this very weekend so bear with me! If you need to think about this RIGHT NOW though check out Fisti's thoughts (he predicts that both my masterpieces will be shut out. Thanks, man. Argh). Glenn Whipp still thinks that Mad Max Fury Road will lead nominations. I've never been that bullish on it but still crossing my fingers. There's also a Gurus of Gold update. Though honestly I think some of my numbers are from the previous week because I definitely haven't been confident in Redmayne or Mara lately.Hmmm

Video of the Week
It's beautiful that the week Anne Marie began her Judy Garland series another Judy Garland spectacle made the rounds. Obsessed with this Wizard of Oz video am I. It recuts the film to be in alphabetical order by word (post credits though the credits themselves per title card are also quite a trip). I've only watched through to the "home" which took 45 minutes lol... the time flew by. But only two moments I was expecting to be favorites were "because" and "Dorothy." The other best parts aren't at all the parts you'd be expecting. I'm especially fond of "arf" and "back" and "dead" and "doing" and "frightened" and "ha". It really is mesmerizing how the video just naturally gives you these weirdly gorgeous breathing moments between its hyper edited assaults as with "Boo!" and "bye" or even "hhh" -- Judy Garland is a heavy breather, don'cha know!  Or how words that are only used once feel weirdly crystalline in this new context like "billowing" and "delicately" or how some super fast strings of words appear to be in conversation with each other like "heroes" "heroine" "herself" 

Of Oz the Wizard from Matt Bucy on Vimeo.

I'll stop talking now and leave you with a song, in this format...

a a And are blue come do dream dreams heard high.
I in land lullaby of Once
Over over rainbow rainbow Really skies
Somewhere Somewhere that that the the the
there's true up way you