Golden Globe-ing It. Live Blog
Sunday, January 15, 2012 at 6:25PM 
6:15 Welcome to the ???nth annual Golden Globes Live Blog. Now with more fever, saltines and ginger ale. I am sick so it is a rare Golden Globes without booze. Which should be illegal. (How to survive the Gervais Smug-a-Thon without a Vodka-Thon?) The first vision that greeted me was George Clooney of whom I am currently bored with (It'll pass), the second vision was Octavia Spencer and Melissa McCarthy gabbing silently. At one point Melissa even cupped her hand to tell Octavia a secret.
I would've voted for you since I wasn't nominated!"
Maybe?
6:31 Jessica Chastain all giggly and Celia-esque while talking to E! reporters. She even did cute little spins and hand flips to demonstrate her Givenchy. But the camera people and booth barkers at E! never ever take their meds. They pan up and down. They shift focus. They put one celeb in a tiny box while another poses. They 360º it. My head spins. And it's not from the sick.
6:39 Sarah Michelle Gellar let her two year old choose her dress. Way to armor yourself against the fashion police reviews. SMG's idea of good date night is IHOP. The more you know!
6:40 Diane Lane looking like a movie star as usual. A movie star without movies, unfortunately.
6:47 My cat is howling. He is not impressed with celebrities or my sweatshirt and sweatpants and ginger ale ensemble. The other day he stopped in his tracks to watch the TV for a full 10 minutes which has not happened since Microcosmos. What paralyzed him with interest? A PBS show Birds of the God - Birds of Paradise.
6:49 And no Monty has not told me what he thought of any of the Oscar movies since Bridesmaids He is like the Haley's comet of Oscar pundits.
6:52 Rooney Mara is truly terrible at being interviewed. But then Ryan Seacrest is asking her whether she kept her "intimate piercings" from Dragon Tattoo so it would take a sassy pro to deflect that and own the situation. She merely says 'some of them. I didn't want to have to repierce'. No no noRooney. You don't answer those questions. You deflect that either sassily, mysteriously, flirtatiously or... if all else fails, a look that could kill. We know you have the latter in your arsenal.
7:07 Bérénice Bejo has not seen The Artist in three months. #uselessredcarpetconfessions.
7:09 Commercial break. Starting to feel a bit better. Having fish for dinner. Cat howling to commence again in 5...4...3...
7:15 Charlize Theron needs to give every young starlet lessons in red carpet banter. She is so excellent at it -- even with laryngitis. MORE with Theron, Moore, Pfeiffer, Streep and the lot of 'em.
Showing real personality makes the enviable luck of massive fame and wealth so much more tolerable! On her laryngitis she said she 'wanted to choose a voice that was right for the dress!'
7:22 Watching Julianne Moore exits a limo was the sexiest thing I have seen yet tonight. The bone structure. The cleavage. The hair. But mostly... that woman.
It's like something out of an Old Hollywood epic or a erotic neo noir... or at least a really really expensive perfume commercial.
7:33 So the camera was showing Kate Winslet (looking amazing) and the reporter was talking to Kate Beckinsale... "so Kate..." Very disorienting to hear Underworld discussed while staring at Kate Winslet. From my knowledge Winslet has never played a death dealing pointy teethed supernatural creature.
7:36 While "interviewing" Michelle Williams Ryan Seacrest said "you essentially BECAME Marilyn" Funny. She still looks like Michelle Williams to me. Wouldn't it be so weird if you did BECOME the person you played in a biopic. Poor Meryl. She'd be Sybil by now. Or even Billy Milligan.
7:42 Lea Michele was just asked what movies she's been watching/loving "My Week With Marilyn, Iron Lady, and We Need To Talk About Kevin"... guess she's boning up on the Best Actress category. Ryan also says (redundantly) "it's like you knew right where the monitor was." Duh Ryan. Have you never met Lea Michele?
7:45 Emma Stone quickly makes herself scarce because Madonna is behind her. Or because she can't suffer Ryan Seacrest a moment longer; claims the former with her mouth but eyes scream the latter.
7:46 Madonna is VERY sassy tonight. She even winked at someone off camera and called Ryan Seacrest's questions "predictable."
7:52 Glenn Close is talking with a reporter about her Best Song nomination instead of her Best Actress nomination. She really has been covering all her bases this year. Get that Oscar... who cares about what's engraved on it. I think Glenn would take a "Best Looping" trophy if they offered them.
Now on to...
THE SHOW
"So where was I? Nervous? Don't be. This isn't about you."
8:05 "The Golden Globes are just like all the Oscar only without all the esteem." This is a pretty funny opening monologue though Elton John did not seem to like the Jodie Foster's Beaver joke. To Jodie's credit she played along well. She's A OK. [there's supposed to be a Jodie Foster visual here. Humor me.]
8:07 Of course they have Johnny Depp introduce Hugo. You couldn't have him presenting a film that didn't have some sort of glossy twee overlay. Johnny we're sorry. won't you come on home. we worry. please come on home. ♫
8:09 SUPPORTING ACTOR goes to... CHRISTOPHER PLUMMER, The Beginners
Lovely speech again though more verbose than that BFCA win. "Religiously full martini" What a description. There's also a shout out to Ewan McGregor as a scene stealer. This is funny in a sly way since Ewan McGregor is a ridiculously generous co-star and other people are always benefitting from just that.
8:13 TV ACTRESS COMEDY goes to... LAURA DERN, Enlightened.
Yes! I only saw the pilot but it suggested that more brilliance would surely follow. Laura Dern is in sparkly green. She looks like a skinny Christmas tree with THE FACE up top.
8:17 MISS GOLDEN GLOBE
I love this moment so much every year for its sheer nepotistic ridiculousness. Here's Julianne Moore's face calling Andie MacDowell's daughter "talented."
TALENTED!
To prove it Miss Golden Globe stands and smiles nervously at the crowd while Mama Ageless Andie blows a kiss.
8:27 BEST MINISERIES to Downton Abbey
BEST ACTRESS IN A MINISERIES to Kate Winslet in Mildred Pierce
A lot of "me" in Kate Winslet's speech again but I think people are over resenting her awards-hunger, aren't they? I think we're back at still waters after the backlash and the backlash against he backlash. Then the great settling came again.
But notice they played music over the end of her speech. The "talk as long as you want pass" always comes with an expiration date. Kate's was Spring 2009. Speed it up a bit!
8:35 Supposedly during the boring part where the HFPA talks about themselves they had closeups of like three of my favorite women. That either happened or it didn't and the Boyfriend is just giving me a hard time about my divided attentions (tv. laptop in perpetual tug of war)
8:37 BEST ACTOR IN SOMETHING Kelsey Grammar in Boss.
BEST TV SERIES DRAMA goes to... Homeland
One of my only correct guesses there, Homeland winning.
8:45 BEST SCORE TO LUDOVIC BOURCE for The Artist
"I'm sorry I'm French..." (as speech kickoff). I think that might come back to haunt him when he returns to the Mother Land.
8:49 BEST SONG to MADONNA for "Masterpiece" from W.E.
Nick wrote the funniest thing about this song earlier today and while it's true it's not her finest moment as a songwriter or lyricist at least we got Madonna on stage. This is why the Globes will always be better than the BFCA: they don't care about predicting the Oscars (Madonna is not even eligible) so they get to have their own personality. Yes, it's a starfucking personality. But it's a personality!
9:02 Oops uh. Where were we?
9:02 IDIS ELBRA won for Luther
9:03 BEST ACTRESS IN A HILARIOUS COMEDY, Michelle Williams for My Week With Marilyn
She thanks lots of people and especially her daughter for listening to bedtime stories in Marilyn's voice. Sweet.
This speech prompted both my vote for tweet of the night from Aaron Fullerton...
teehee. And a new poll.
POLL QUESTION via Michelle Williams
9:10 BEST ACTOR IN A TV SOMETHING... Peter Dinklage in Game of Thrones
He's so great.
9:15 ANIMATED FILM to Steve Spielberg for The Adventures of Tintin
But people should really not win prizes for hiding Jamie Bell's light (face) under a bushel (cgi)
9:16 commercials.
9:25 BEST ACTRESS IN A TV SOMETHING for Jessica Lange in American Horror Story.
Which I did predict since as she stated in her acceptance speech, the HFPA have always been generous with her. And most awards bodies have in point of fact. She's magnetized for trophies hence all that protective black dress armor. Trophies flying at her every time she works!
9:29 I should note that that prize was preceded by sung banter about "it's an honor to be nominated blah blah blah by Felicity Huffman (looking smashing) and William H Macy. And there was a reaction shot of Michelle Pfeiffer while Jessica Lange talked about the difficulties of finding good scripts. Hmmmm.
9:31 Madonna, presenting makes a funny about Ricky Gervais that I would share with you if my fingers could move swiftly enough. In a well timed edited he ran across the stage to escape her. Madonna gives them another moment. BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM to A Separation. YES.
9:35 BEST ACTRESS TV DRAMA for ... Claire Danes Homeland
I just watched the first two episodes of this today -- cramming for the Globes -- and wowie. She's very very strong in it with a fascinating (so far) character. But you knew this already. I'm always behind the curve with those damn pay cable shows. I only have so many hours in the day and I don't even see enough movies!
9:42 Emily Blunt introduces Bridesmaids. I feel like the whole world wants her to be in another comedy classic. Am I right? That career is just wasting away. Not what we thought it would be post Prada.
9:44 BEST ACTOR COMEDY for Matt LeBlanc for Episodes
He's playing himself. Tina Fey makes a joke about being nothing like Liz Lemon "I can't think of any examples right now". Oh, Tina. We love.
9:48 SUPPORTING ACTRESS Octavia Spencer for The Help
Table ten! "OCTAVIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" someone shouts as she makes this cute little girl hunched downward glance, receiving the applause. Melissa McCarthy seems very very very happy about this win which brings us full circle to that first sentence. Maybe Melissa would've voted for her if she was an HFPA member!
9:55 Sidney Poiteir takes the stage which means it's time for the Cecil B DeMille prize. Poitier is making every word sentence length. He knows we need a bathroom break.
10:00 The Golden Globes are asking a lot of me with all this Driving Miss Daisy up in my living room. Michelle Pfeiffer is right there in that room people. Show some fucking respect. Robbed she was. Robbed!
10:04 Oh, I see what Sidney Poitier was doing. He was playing Morgan Freeman in a biopic on the stage. big spaces between words.
10:05 Thankfully he's now sped back up to normal speed.
10:11 I wasted that entire long commercial break scanning Twitter for lolz.
10:12 ANGELINA JOLIE ON STAGE. She's dressed like a superhero.
10:14 Best Director goes to Martin Scorsese, Hugo.
I mean this with all respect but when are the lifetime achievement awards for Marty Scorsese going to end? He's like the fucking Cher of awards season. This farewell tour will go on and on.
10:20 Best Comedy goes to... MODERN FAMILY
The speech is in two languages with Sofia delighting the crowd with her Spanish. Reaction shots indicate that everyone is now drunk and ready for the afterparties by there are still 40 minutes of this left.
10:29 MICHELLE PFEIFFER MICHELLE PFEIFFER MICHELLE PFEIFFER MICHELLE PFEIFFER MICHELLE PFEIFFER MICHELLE PFEIFFER MICHELLE PFEIFFER MICHELLE PFEIFFER MICHELLE PFEIFFER MICHELLE PFEIFFER MICHELLE PFEIFFER MICHELLE PFEIFFER MICHELLE PFEIFFER MICHELLE PFEIFFER MICHELLE PFEIFFER MICHELLE PFEIFFER MICHELLE PFEIFFER MICHELLE PFEIFFER MICHELLE PFEIFFER MICHELLE PFEIFFER
That she introduced War Horse, I probably kinda deserved. The Globes are keeping me real.
And also this happened: Best Comedy Actor Jean Dujardin who was told that he would never make it onscreen because his face was too big and expressive. Um? That was the dumbest agent of all time. All the biggest movie stars have giant expressive faces. If you're child's head is abnormally large, particularly in the eyes and the mouth region, enroll them in acting classes right quick like.
He can't help it that his eyebrows are independent!
10:33 "Please welcome the evil Colin Firth" Ricky Gervais says he punches blind kitten. okayyyyy.
10:36 BEST ACTRESS Meryl Streep for The Iron Lady
They just bleeped out Meryl Streep because she said the naughty brown word. As per usual Meryl aces her acceptance speech with a generosity so few people can muster. I mean shout outs to Adepere Oduye AND Mia Wasikowska? Meryl is god.
10:59 Sorry I disappeared. I'm not sure what happened other than that my heart sank when George Clooney took another huge stride towards Oscar #2 when Brad doesn't even have #1 and Brad was better than Clooney TWICE this year. Sigh. Best Actor for George Clooney in The Descendants. He has a few beautiful moments but even the voiceover is just playing it safe tossed off.
And finally BEST PICTURE Drama to The Descendants. Boo.
11:05 Finally as I say goodnight -- I'm sick so I really should turn in though WE'LL DISCUSS ALL THIS TOMORROW AGAIN.
But in closing I must say that Miss Golden Globe, i.e. Andie Macdowell Jr., really seemed to be taking her role seriously. TALENTED. Did you see the way she was guiding the stars on the stage with her arms? There was no mistaking where she wanted them to go and sometimes those Miss Golden Globes are just glassy-eyed zombies. Direct that stage traffic, Andie Jr.!
GOOD NIGHT.
Reader Comments (147)
Maybe Pia Zadora will write a Best Original Song next year.
Madonna? WTF?????????????????
I wanted Glenn to win for best song. :( She deserved it so much more.
So glad for the Idris Elba win, I love Luther. But a tie with Dominick West would have been great for Wire fans.
When did William Hurt become Steven Spielberg with less hair and mother of God does he have a ponytail!?!?
LOL, Seth lampshading that My Week With Marilyn doesn't belong in that category.
When did William Hurt become Steven Spielberg with less hair and mother of God does he have a ponytail?!?!?!
OMG. LOVED THE ROGEN.
The Erection bit and calling 'Marilyn' hysterical may be the best part of the evening.
No Gervais?
Seth Rogen had stolen the night with 2 amazing quotes!!! http://www.mondoglam.com/search/label/Oscars
Idris Elba is great, pure and simple. Why isn't he in everything, again?
Michelle Williams was really cute but Seth Rogan stole it. And I loved how the My Week With Marilyn clip made it seem like it was rightfully placed in the Comedy/Musical category. That was no accident.
Peter Dinklage winning was awesome and he gave a good speech.
The Clooney/Pitt bit was hilarious. Those two are like competing brothers.
Aah, Tin Tin. OIC @ you, HFPA.
Haven't seen Tintin, but I'm kind of glad Rango didn't win. It had some funny bits, but felt like it had a bad case of ADD.
No comment on Pfeiffer?
I'm waiting for a pic/shot of Nicole and Ewan together. would TOTALLY make my night.
Did Nicole Kidman just proposition Woody Allen, pitch herself as his new it girl, or a combination of both?
Nate, this show tonight is packed with some priceless reactions from our TFE faves. It's pretty amazing, especially during that Lange speech.
Suddenly I'm thinking Felicity Huffman should have been part of the discussion about Into the Woods casting...
I adore Jessica Lange and the speech was good but what was going on with her hair?
She's the Best! I love u Madonna!
If Madonna hands Angelina an award...
A Separation wins! And is presented from Madonna, no less! She is the gift that keeps on giving tonight, no?
Re: Homeland, keep watching Nat! It only gets more fascinating as it goes along. I saw the whole season in a week, it's that addicting! Damian Lewis and Mandy Patinkin are also fantastic.
Nathaniel, I didn't see an update on Woody winning
I don't care for "bathroom" jokes
Re: Homeland, keep watching Nat! It only gets more fascinating as it goes along. I saw the whole season in a week, it's that addicting! Damian Lewis and Mandy Patinkin are also fantastic.
Also, am I the only one who is getting tired of people highlighting the poop jokes when talking about Bridesmaids? There is so much more to this movie, so much heart and humor, that it gets tiring that they keep talking about the most vulgar aspect of it.
Richter Scale, you'd think the entire film was 90 minutes of the bathroom scene with the way people talk about Bridesmaids.
Discovered Octavia in Ugly Betty... I miss that show!
<I>The Help's table was positioned surprisingly far from the stage.
I thought Chastain was better than Spencer in the film, but Spencer's a credible winner.
Tina Fey + Jane Lynch was fun. And Matt LeBlanc is looking gooooood. Ugh. That suit color and that hair!
The Bridesmaids cheers/moment. Hmmmm.
Octavia wins. Speech was okay but they REALLY loved her so it seems like she's set.
Nathaniel - If you think Claire Danes is good now, just wait until you get to the final three episodes of the season. She deserves, like, three Emmys for season 1 alone.
One of my favorite movies as a child was Never Been Kissed (lol, don't judge, I was a child!) and now Octavia is likely to win an Oscar. I feel like a proud parent watching their child grow and become successful. hahah.
There was a Driving Miss Daisy joke and a clip while you were in the bathroom
Peggy Sue, Octavia was SOOO awesome in Ugly Betty...!!
tesh -- I know! I'm a big fan since then. Never thought she would win an Oscar
Hate watching live tv and suddenly realizing you can't fast-forward it!
Yay, Marty!
Let's get that second Oscar and even things with Spielberg.
Counting down the time when we get to hear Jean DuJardin say something.
Oh, Scorsese won. And everyone is positively crazy about it. I still don't get it. Angie looks great.
I'm so old I remember when Banderas was unknown... even in Spain!
I want Almodóvar to work with Sofía Vergara
LOL why hasn't Modern Family won this before?! That was hilarious.
Nathaniel michelle on stage!!!!
Oh My God! Michelle always presents the movies you hate
Peggy Sue -- did such a time ever exist? I'm so old I remember when I knew who he was way before america did due to my Pedro love and Madonna's Truth or
jean dujardin dancing - absolute poodle!!
I just love JGL. Even if he couldn't act, which he can!
Jean DuJardin is very charming and looks great in that suit.
Jessica Biel-We have a winner for least becoming dress, that thing actually made it look like she has three breasts.
Winslet's lifetime achievement run has been going for a while too, so I think I'll give Scorsese a rest. He certainly deserves it.
I believe the monologue he has recited belongs to one of his early plays but you're right, he was a star almost from minute one
Nate, are you the camera operator for this show tonight? Just wondering.
Jean! Yes, you woo all those powerful people in that room! How badly was Charlize lusting after him? Go and reenact Young Adult, girl!
Meryl Streep just called Tilda Swinton "Gilda" and made a horrible God joke. There goes the Oscar.
Was Meryl pretending to be surprised?
That look between Glenn Close and her husband was beautiful.