Netflix in July: Troy's Straight-Washing, Blue Valentine's Brilliance.
Thursday, July 5, 2018 at 5:00PM Time to play Streaming Roulette. Each month, to survey new streaming titles we freeze frame the films at random places with the scroll bar and whatever comes up first, that's what we share!
July is kind of a quiet month on Netflix but which of these films will you be streaming for the first time or as a rewatch? Which do you have strong feelings about. Please do tell us in the comments. Ready? Let's go...
ARE YOU CRAZY?!? IF I CAN'T PULL MY CHUTE, YOU'LL DIE TOO!
Get Smart (2008)
Despite being an Anne Hathaway disciple I have not seen this. Worth a watch? Anyone?
Hey, can I ask you something else: What's the story of that girl that was in here a month ago?
Blue Valentine (2010)
Ryan Gosling is visiting his grandma because he's a sweet soul. I especially love the editing here. The image cuts to this for the rest of the visiting grandma dialogue...
The blonde, the young blonde. I gave her my card but she never called me. What's her name?
Cindy.
Cindy. Will you tell her I say "Hi"?
It's still a total shame that His & Hers Oscar nominations didn't come from this powerhouse romantic drama. It got royally stiffed at the Oscars with a single nomination (for Michelle Williams). Here at the Film Bitch Awards it fared better with 7 nominations (including Best Picture).
Jack was Frank's only friend. They were inseparable -- like, like one person. It was odd. You couldn't imagine more different people.
Deceived (1991)
Hmm, methinks this is an exposition scene. I've never seen this old Goldie Hawn thriller. Have you? These two women have the same hair color / cut except that Goldie's curls turn under at the end and the other lady doing the exposition, her curls turn up. Vive la différence!
-I'm so glad you asked me out.
-Me too.
The Voices (2014)
Anna Kendrick's sweet accounting department employee is not long for this world since she's just starting sleeping with Ryan Reynolds who has a woman's head in his fridge at home. God I loathed this film which I saw at a festival knowing nothing about it. The serial killing of women as comedy... ? and directed by a woman no less? The mind boggles. WHY? That said Mary Harron did pull off that impossible trick with American Psycho but in her case she demonstrated a mastery of tone and whip-smart satirical intellect. Not to mention the genius work she pulled from her leading man. Marjane Satrapi's (Persepolis) film is all over the place tonally and Reynolds is no Bale. What was Satrapi going for exactly, here?
Gross. We need a palette cleanser so let's end with a Brad Pitt double feature...
[Gasping for air]
Interview with the Vampire (1994)
I dont understand Louis gasping for air when released from his coffin. Vampires can't suffocate. They're already dead. Louis' next thought is a panicked "Claudia! Where's Claudia?" I have some good news and some bad news Louis. Good news: Baby vampire Claudia gets nominated for a Golden Globe; Bad news: Oscar snubs her and the Globe nod is posthumous because these vampires don't sparkle in the sunshine. They turn to ash.
(P.S. I'd forgotten that the score to this movie by Elliot Goldenthal is really good and was nominated for an Oscar. It's annoying that this movie wasn't streaming when we were playing our 1994 games last month)
I'll tell you a secret, something they don't teach you in your temple. The gods envy us.
Troy (2004)
Achilles (Brad Pitt) is speaking to Rose Byrne in this scene. She's his love interest in one of the movie's most annoying rewrites of history. Patroclus (Garret Hedlund) was right there for the man-on-man loving but instead he was demoted to favorite cousin! I prefer this rendition of the story which is 152 minutes shorter than Troy.
In happier news at least Wolfgang Peterson understood that Brad Pitt was the sex symbol of the movie despite the story springing from a woman whose 'face launched a thousand ships' (Diane Kruger) and gave us plentiful Pitt to ogle.
Rose Byrne, not understanding how to play "fuck marry or kill," tries to choose Brad for all three simultaneously in "Troy"
In happiest news Rose Byrne, wasted here, has found her true calling in comedy since. She's a decent enough dramatic actress but in comedies she's working on a much higher plane.
ALSO NEW ON NETFLIX FOR JULY
- Blue Bloods: Season 8
- Bo Burnham: what.
- Boondock Saints
- Chocolat
- Finding Neverland
- Happy Gilmore
- Hawaii Five-O: Season 8
- Journey to the Center of the Earth
- Jurassic Park
- Lost World: Jurassic Park
- Jurassic Park III
- Madam Secretary: Season 4
- Menace II Society
- NCIS: Season 15
- Pandorum
- Penelope
- The Princess Diaries
- Queens of Comedy: Season 2
- Rica, Famosa, Latina: Seasons 1-4
- Scooby-Doo
- Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed
- Spanglish
- Stealth
- Swordfish
- Traitor
- Van Helsing
- We Own the Night
- We the Marines
- What We Started
- Anne with an E: Season 2- Netflix Original
- Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee: New 2018: Freshly Brewed- Netflix Original
- First Team: Juventus: Part B- Netflix Original
- Free Rein: Season 2- Netflix Original
- Inside the World’s Toughest Prisons: Season 2- Netflix Original
- Sacred Games- Netflix Original
- Samantha!- Netflix Original
- Somebody Feed Phil: The Second Course-Netflix Original
- The Fosters: Season 5 New Episodes
- The Legacy of a Whitetail Deer Hunter- Netflix Original Film
- The Skin of The Wolf- Netflix Original Film
- White Fang- Netflix Original Film
selections from later in the month
- Scream 4 (July 7th)
- Gone Baby Gone (July 12th)
- How It Ends- Netflix Original Film (July 13th)
- Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain (July 13th)
- An Education (July 22nd)
- Bolt (July 22nd)
- Extinction-Netflix Original (July 27th)
- Orange Is the New Black: Season 6-Netflix Original (July 27th)
- Shameless: Season 8 (July 28th)
- Her (July 29th)
Reader Comments (18)
Eric Bana in Troy was pure sex. What happened to his career?
Who do you think got the nomination over Ryan Gosling in 2010? Bardem? Franco? You also asked in your writeup whether Gosling was the best actor of his generation. Do you still think the answer is "probably" (or better?)?
Hathaway was singled out as the highlight of the movie.
Deceived probably plays as boring now because it's PG-13.
I remember being surprised by how good "Get Smart" was, enough that when I saw it was coming to Netflix, my first thought was, "I need to watch that again."
WOO SCREAM 4
Get Smart's.....fun, but it's a bit too long and most of the jokes and references to the original show (like a lot of these tv-to-movie remakes) often land flat. Hathaway's fun in it though.
Blue Valentine is a modern masterpiece, and it's an utter goddamned shame Oscar decided to ignore it and Gosling (who I think outshines Williams in it).
I saw Deceived in a preview screening back in the day, knowing nothing about it. My initial thought was "Goldie Hawn in a thriller?" But she's actually really good in it. There's also Anne Bancroft chewing scenery like only the true greats can. Not a masterpiece or anything, but a good Sunday afternoon diversion.
Get Smart is fun and definitely worth a watch. Not a major achievement, but there are worse ways to waste time.
I have to admit that I have a soft spot for Troy, mainly because of Brad Pitt and Eric Bana.
Eric Bana as Hector was the sexiest man in "Troy". "Get Smart" is funny but like most modern comedies is too long
I'm not much for Anne Hathaway but she was well cast in Get Smart (no Barbara Feldon but who could be?) The movie overall was rather lackluster though.
I really like Deceived and would recommend it. Goldie plays it straight very well and the movie has some nice twists and turns.
Anne Bancroft chews the scenery in Malice not Deceived which is pretty decent and spooky with Goldie great doing st8 work but the twist is too easy to spot.
Mmmmm.... the men of Troy. Don't forget Sean Bean as wily Odysseus.
"Get Smart" is one of the few movies I felt burned at. How can you have such an interesting cast and make them all look bad? I even hated Alan Arkin and I love Alan Arkin. Dwayne Johnson almost succeeded in his determined efforts to add some fun. This movie really put me off Steve Carrell. Here, he is unfunny, ungenerous, unappealing.
Get Smart is fun and Hathaway is fun in it, although she's playing the straight man to Steve Carrell at his most mannered. His performance works because of the memory of the original Get Smart TV show, but if that's not your thing it may be best to stay away.
Rose Byrne is amazing in Wicker Park
nathaniel, thanks for the shout out to blue valentine. the movie is a beauty, and it's criminal that gosling didn't get a matching nomination.
i also have a soft spot for TROY, except it is a hard spot.
Agreed on "Deceived". It's a nice rainy day movie, especially if you like Goldie. Otherwise, eh.
"Troy" was a very pretty, empty movie. But Eric Bana was totally hotter than Brad. Google his beer can in some Australian movie sometime.
Get Smart is a breezy 2 hours. Good to watch if you are traveling. Fun but I don't remember much about it.
Troy was so laughably bad and not following the legend. I remember people booing Orlando Bloom in the theater. But Eric Bana and Saffron Burrows are excellent in the movie. Peterson should have re-framed the film around them and the tragic nature of the film would feel earned.
Rewatched Troy the other day. A few things stand out:
1) Eric Bana is freaking jacked. Even as a straight man, I watched that scene where he is preparing for battle with a twinkle in my eye
2) I cannot decide if Peter O'Toole is good or terrible in this
3) Orlando Bloom is an absolute trainwreck. He even does the Legolas arrow move near the climax
4) I miss Saffron Burrows
5) The battle scenes are terrible, with the exception of Bana vs. Pitt
As a lifelong fan of Greek myths and their adaptations, I like Troy a lot, even with its divergences from the mythology and no-gods approach. But what I really wanted was a sequel film of The Odyssey with Sean Bean. Best. Odysseus. Ever. I even got the extended cut because it has a couple of additional lines from Bean.
Also, as noted on the TV Tropes site, this is one of the great World of Ham films of all time, with a huge cast of unleashed scenery chewers wildly fighting for dominance. Personally, I think Bryan Cox out-brays them all as Agamemnon!
I think Peter O'Toole is mostly good. The scene when he goes to the Greek camp at night to retrieve Hector's body from Achilles is the best acting in the film. (I just watched the recent lame miniseries Troy: Fall of a City on Netflix or Amazon... and the equivalent scene is terrible.)
And I agree it's a very, very handsome cast - Pitt has a gorgeous physique in this film, and that and his unique fight choreography make him a kinda believable demigod. And Orlando Bloom is just awful! Back then, we were all so impressed with his Legolas... it took a few other roles to realize he's a pretty terrible actor.