Gay Best Friend: Patti in "Under the Tuscan Sun"
Monday, November 16, 2020 at 3:35PM 
Under the Tuscan Sun has/is currently getting me through COVID. Any day I feel crushed by the looming threat of the virus, I make like Diane Lane and escape to Tuscany to worry about plumbing and wall sconces. Yes, Under the Tuscan Sun is peak “white Mom movie,” but it’s also perfect comfort food. Most of this could be laid at the feet of Diane Lane, who was going through a mid-career renaissance in 2003, fresh off her Oscar nomination for Unfaithful. She makes Frances’ quest for reinvention liberating, warm and even a bit silly. Who doesn’t need a bit of silliness in their lives?
Still, Frances would’ve never ended up in Tuscany without the help of her gay best friend, Patti (Sandra Oh)...
Frances and Patti are introduced together, 47 seconds into the film. Even in a crowd, they're in their own friendship bubble
Let’s back up for a second and address why Under the Tuscan Sun is so utterly fabulous. It’s always seen as a beautiful adult fantasy about jettisoning one’s hum-drum life and refurbishing up an Italian villa. Yes, it is that, but it’s so much more. The film is more specifically about cutting out the toxic chunks of one’s life and rebuilding a new, more nurturing community. Not every friend makes the cut when someone goes through a major life change. However, Frances (Lane) and Patti are a friendship love that will never die. The gay best friend in rom-com is either solely a confidant or plot device. Yes, Oh’s Patti initially exists to kick start the plot. Yet, in the movie’s back half, Patti becomes a full fledged character with her own parallel journey of self-actualization and transition.
Frances and Patti are introduced as an inseparable pair at a reading of one of Frances’ students. It is here that we are dealt our inciting incident. A bitter writer takes great delight in revealing to Frances that her husband (who we never meet) has been cheating on her. The bad news keeps coming for Frances. He wants her house as well. With a fair bit of money after selling her half of the house to him, Frances is in uncharted territory.
We love a Grey's Anatomy couple
This is where Patti steps up with a bottle of champagne to celebrate the ending of the bad marriage. Her wife, Grace (Kate Walsh, pre-Grey’s Anatomy), arrives and they share their own great news. Patti is finally pregnant on her fifth try with a donor! While exciting news for Patti and Grace, this means they can’t go on their gay tour of Italy. Luckily, Patti knows Frances needs a break and she knows Frances won’t ask for it. She slides a first class ticket to Italy across the table. Frances is off to Italy!
This set-up plays into the “fairy Godmother” gay, where seemingly Patti only exists to get our lead to Italy for adventures. Still, it’s novel to see a happy, successful gay couple embarking on their new journey of motherhood. In 2020 standards, this looks a lot like respectability politics in play. Of course we only get a gay character if they are in a committed relationship and ready to become a traditional mother. Yet, Under the Tuscan Sun was released in a pre-Prop 8 time and there weren’t a lot of depictions of stable queer couples, much less interracial ones. Patti and Grace also exist in a romantic comedy that is otherwise specifically catered to suburban white women. The gay best friend stereotype is now seen as lazy and overused. However, in the 90s and early 00s, this characterization was a major way that rural and suburban audiences learned to accept and love queer people.
Gay people are Frances’ stewards to Italy. On the “Gay and Away” bus, Frances is whisked to a world far away from her divorce travels. She makes niceties with Dan Bucatinsky. Everyone eats great food, drinks good wine and takes lots of photos. However, Frances stumbles across a dilapidated villa in Tuscany that calls her name. Faster than you can say “bye gays,” Frances buys the house, ditches the tour and begins renovations. What follows is a delightful hour of home renovation mishaps, colorful townies and whirlwind romances.
Then an old friend returns...
It’s Patti! Patti is in Tuscany! You can see all the emotions flash over Diane Lane’s face.
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OMG, is that who I think it is?
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Wait, how can Patti be here if she’s pregnant?
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OMG, what’s happened?
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Why is Grace not there?
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OMG
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OMG Patti’s here!
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Patti!
I cry every single time. Like big blubbering tears. Nothing in the narrative suggests they were going to bring Patti back. Yet, writer/director Audrey Wells understands that there was a part of Frances’ life in San Francisco that was good and healthy. Having Patti in Tuscany is that touch of home she so desperately missed.
Patti: I would’ve told you I was coming, but you would’ve talked me out of flying
Frances: (crying) Look at you!
Patti: (holding back tears) You did it, Frances.
(deep breath)
Frances: What?
Patti: I gotta go pee!
It’s a perfect depiction of female friendship. I wouldn’t change it for the world.
We soon learn that Grace ran out on Patti while she was in her third trimester. Apparently, Grace realized she didn’t want to be a mother. There’s a beautiful scene where Patti expresses how lost and alone she feels while Frances makes up her room. If there’s anyone who knows a thing or two about reinvention, it’s Frances. Patti is going to have her “creepy Italian baby” and Frances will be by her side.
Patti: I refuse to screw up your love life.
Frances: Don't be ridiculous, Patti. You are my love life.
This is an essential tenet to what makes Patti such a breath of fresh air. She’s Frances’ great love, and vice versa. The already delightful Architectural Digest film picks up in its second half as Frances now has a partner in crime. With Oh and Lane’s performance, you sense the both of them have a friendship where they can communicate solely with looks. There’s an unspoken bond that transcends distance. They knew they needed each other.
Lesbians aren’t often used in the “gay best friend” trope, which we established is usually reserved for cis white gay men. When we do see lesbians in these roles, it’s not often in romantic comedies. We’re more likely to see lesbian supporting characters as lovelorn friends, wishing for a world where they could run off with the lead character (see Cher in Silkwood). With Patti, Oh and Lane explore a rich and lasting friendship between friends, one of whom happens to be gay. Patti’s gayness could be explored more, sure. It’s a 2003 romantic comedy after all. Yet, her queerness is more than just a character detail. It’s an essential component to the character. We’re embroidered in her relationship and divorce.
Unfortunately, we never get to see Patti find a second love in Tuscany or have a torrid Italian romance. Granted, she’s more concerned with giving birth to her baby and nursing the wounds of her broken relationship. Still, had the movie started with both women’s lives imploding at the same time, it would’ve been great to have a more expansive, years long look at these two friends reinventing their lives in Italy. As with many of the movies we will look at in the series, there are many ways to reimagine the films around the queer characters we’re examining. However, we’re only able to do that because Patti is such a refreshing force of good in the film. Sandra Oh has also proven herself nearly two decades later to be a leading lady star.
Watch out for the champagne drinking nuns, Patti!
Martini: I think you got your wish.
Frances: My wish?
Martini: On that day we looked for your snake, you said to me that you wanted there to be a wedding here. And then you said you wanted there to be a family here.
Frances: You're right... I got my wish. I got everything I asked for.
We end at a wedding on Frances’ property between a young Polish handyman and a local girl from the town.This realization, brought on by one of Frances’ suitors, Martini (Vincent Riotta), provides a perfect cap to this feel good film. Frances’ next chapter in life was to be a force of good in the lives of the people around her. She gets to be cool Aunt Frances to Patti’s child and a confidant to her best friend. In throwing the wedding, she brings together young love that was threatened to be torn apart by tradition. Even though she’s the leading lady of the movie, Frances gets to rejoice in being a supporting character in Patti’s life as a mother. That’s the most important role of them all.
Previously in Gay Best Friend
Who is your favorite (or least favorite) example of a “gay best friend” in movies? Let us know in the comments below.
Reader Comments (11)
This is always my "go-to" movie whenever I'm feeling down or in a depressed funk. Everything about this film is just glorious fun. Diane Lane is so radiant from start to finish. It's breezy, light-weight fare. I've seen it about 10 times so far.
Lane is SUPERB here. She got a Golden Globe Comedy nod for Best Actress for this. It's a shame Oscar doesn't like romantic dramadies... she's really quite good in this.
DIANE LANE is one of those strange stars wherein I always love them if I see them but I never end up actually seeing their movies. I have never seen this (gulp). Had not recalled that Sandra Oh was also in it.
Love, love, LOVE this film!! Every time I finish watching it I want to hop a plane to Tuscany!
Patti is a wonderful side character and the relationship between the two women is terrific and much of that is because of what Sandra Oh does with her but the film belongs lock, stock and barrel to Diane Lane. She's had more challenging roles but this is my favorite role and performance from her, at least so far. It's refreshing that once she gets to Tuscany and buys the villa she retains her wounded troubled air rather than having that one decision suddenly make everything super duper as many films would settle for. Diane sells the hell out that.
I also adore Lindsay Duncan's flighty Katherine. She's great fun and the actress has great fun with her.
Just one thing Mr. Martini (who I also really liked-very sexy man in a quiet way) was never one of Frances's suitors. You can tell he's tempted, he even says as much when she is melting down in front of him once but he knows who he is and gently tells her he's happily married and plans to stay that way but he'll be there as a friend whenever she needs him. I really liked that detail, it clarified his character well and quickly.
I think it's time for (another) rewatch! Easy enough since I own it.
Nathaniel-
You should add Lane to your Best Actress pool this year for Let Him Go. She’s dynamite in it and is getting rave reviews
One of my favorite movies, my go-to tonic when I'm down and bewildered. My favorite Diane Lane film, and so endlessly quotable!
What a wonderful surprise - I never would have thought of including Patti in this series, even though I also love this as a comfort movie. Thanks for the detailed examination - it even smells like purple ;)
Thanks also to joel6 for pointing out what I came here to say about Mr. Martini not being a suitor, but a non-romantic supporter.
Happy that Under the Tuscan Sun is so many readers' comfort movie as well. I'm glad I'm not alone. Echo everyone's thoughts on how good Diane Lane is in the movie. A PERFECT Golden Globes Musical/Comedy nominee. Her dance on the bed is one of my favorite things. Also agree with the Lindsey Duncan love!
@Nathaniel: Open up a bottle of wine and get transported to Tuscany. It's well worth the watch!
@Joel6 and James from Ames: Maybe I just find all Italian men to be suitors... who's to say? But yes, love that it ends with him as a non-sexual supporter.
A fabulous feel-good movie. 'Under The Tuscan Sun' is one of the BEST films of it's type. You instantly feel great after watching it. Soooo uplifting.
I also agree with Diane Lane's superb acting. She owns the film and deserved her Golden Globe nomination for Best Actress. Sandra Oh is amazing too in support.
I really recommend Diane Lane's new thriller 'Let Him Go' (co-starring Kevin Costner). It's a thrilling and tense movie that is both beautiful and 'edge of the seat' exciting. Diane Lane was amazing in 'Let Him Go' and I hope this underrated actress gets the Oscar nomination she deserves!
I rally hope I can see "Let Him Go" soon, but alas, still not movie theaters here.
I haven't seen this movie in a long, long time. All I remembered is that divorced women flees to Italy, finds villa and hot Italian guy. I have forgotten a lot.
Thank you for this series, and for citing Sandra Oh’s portrayal of Patti. The scene in which she shows up, unexpected and devastated, is a heartbreak moment in the film. When asked what went wrong, Oh’s delivery of “She didn’t want us” makes me cry every time.
It’s important to remind us that our friends often are the “loves of our lives”, because the true ones endure throughout all our traumas and joys.