Beauty vs Beast: Before the Beasts

Jason from MNPP here with this week's "let's retreat into fantasy for sanity's sake" edition of "Beauty vs Beast" -- you probably saw some people, maybe you were one of them, sharing a Harry Potter meme this week in the wake of the US election. It is timely, what with the next entry in the Potterverse, the first of the Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them series, opening - we'd probably have had Muggles Inc. on our minds anyway.

But JK Rowling's fictional creation helped us sort through the Bush years and so it's no surprise that a horcrux joke or two would make their way into the conversation. The series was always explicitly political. And so let's turn our eyes to the endless battle between Good and Evil one more time today to seek out some small comfort among friends...

PREVIOUSLY One week ago we lived in a different place (what would you give to go back there right about now), one where I felt fine making a bold Hillary Clinton prediction (it was my arrogance that ruined everything, no doubt) while joking about Alexander Payne's Election - well the blonde political spitfire Tracy Flick at least got her landslide, with over 70% of the vote. Said Row-bin:

"This is one of two movies I actually enjoy Matthew Broderick in, but Tracy Flick is one of the best realized performances I've ever seen out of Reese Witherspoon. She's so unapologetic in knowing what she wants and is such a great example of well-roundedness in a character."

Beauty vs Beast: Political Animals

Jason from MNPP here, posting today's edition of "Beauty vs Beast" from deep down inside my underground election bunker -- it's kind of like 10 Cloverfield Lane only depending on which way things go tomorrow I'm possibly going to be dissolving myself in acid. Until then, cheers! And don't go blind from drunkeness.

But first I've got to put in front of you the most obvious poll for this week's contest that I could possibly have gone with. When it's right, it's right, ya know? In 1999 Alexander Payne dropped Election, his second-best movie, on the world and it's resonated deeply and profoundly every four years since. There's a character for every type - Paul Metzler's a little bit Bush and a little bit Obama; I like Tammy too much to attach Trump to her but their shared anti-establishment rhetoric is pretty on-point. And as for Tracy Flick, well... obviously.

But for "Beauty vs Beast" it only make sense to face off the real adversaries of the film. There are morals, and there are ethics, and it's one lone man's job to police the distinction...

PREVIOUSLY Last week we tackled the love-struck teenaged maniacs of Heavenly Creatures and I forced you to split the duo in two like you're they're heteronormative parents side-eyeing their affections - it was close (I was hoping for a tie!) but Winslet's Juliet squeaked it out with 54% over Lynskey's Pauline; seeing as how Juliet is ever so slightly roped into the killing by the more enthusiastic Pauline I suppose we can understand. But said our host Nathaniel (and I'm prone to agree):

"I love this movie with all my heart (the best of its year if you ask me) and this is an awful thing to be expected to answer! Cruel, Jason, cruel."

Beauty vs Beast: The Princesses of Borovnia

Jason from MNPP here -- with most holidays I think it would suck to share a birthday - who wants their birthday on Thanksgiving? Or even worse, Christmas? Everyone else getting presents on your day? What a nightmare. But Halloween is the exception - I would love my birthday to be on Halloween. Costume parties every year! A cake shaped like Frankenstein's head! Or even better - a cake shaped like the Bride of Frankenstein's head! (Because more cake.) 

And you wanna know who I bet has the best Halloween Birthday Parties? Peter Jackson, that's who. I bet he dresses up like the STD-riddled rabbit from Meet the Feebles or like the Mouth of Sauron every year. Damn you, Peter Jackson. 

Oh well - we'll go ahead and wish him a happy day today with this week's edition of "Beauty vs Beast" anyway, and since we're going to be seeing his 1994 masterpiece Heavenly Creatures on a big screen (with Film Experience fave Melanie Lynskey in person!) in just a couple of days thanks to the brand new Alamo Drafthouse in Brooklyn, we'll go with a show-down between teen dreamers Juliet (Kate Winslet) and Pauline (Lynskey). Good luck choosing with this Sophie's Choice, folks...

Instead of doing the usual "Previously On..." here (Eli won last week's Let the Right One In contest though) I want to keep aboard the Melanie Lynskey Express for a minute since we're here and she's wonderful and we all love her so - she's got a new movie coming out this weekend! It's called Rainbow Time and it stars Lynskey as a woman pulled into the weird relationship between two brothers (played by Timm Sharp and Linus Phillips) and the movie's really fine and funny and I highly recommend it. Watch the trailer now:

Beauty vs Beast: My Best Friend is a Vampire

Jason from MNPP here wishing everyone a happy week's worth of Halloween fun & spooky frivolity. Now that the New York Film Festival's behind us I feel as if I can properly focus in on the reason for the season - horror movies! So let's devote this week's "Beauty vs Beast" to one of the finest examples of the genre from our young new millenium - Tomas Alfredson's 2008 Swedish stunner Let the Right One In, which tells the tale of young Oskar and the strange "girl" named Eli who moves in next door. Eli puts the "bad dream" into the term "Manic Pixie Dream Girl," but Oskar, bullied though he may be, ain't no saint himself...

PREVIOUSLY Last week we wandered into the woods with Into the Woods and the battle between the Baker's Wife and The Witch was quite the doozy, but in the end (unlike the film) it was Emily Blunt who came out singing with 52% of the vite. Said PoliVamp:

"Baker's Wife easily. I was very unhappy with Streep's nomination, as she was only the 5th best performance in the movie (and Blunt is in that top 4 group). Also, Moments is my favorite song from the musical, give or take Agony, so this was an easy pick for me."

Beauty vs Beast: Which of the Woods

Jason from MNPP here seizing the moment with this week's edition of "Beauty vs Beast" -- well, seizing one of many moments, but not only moments, because if life were only moments then we'd never know we had one. You know how it goes. Anyway this moment, this one of many not only, is the birthday of the director Rob Marshall, who makes magical movies that, uh... defy description. Like Into the Woods, perhaps? Yes, we are in the right story.

PREVIOUSLY Here it is a week later and I'm still pretty shocked it took me over 125 editions of this series to get to my favorite movie Rosemary's Baby - but who won? Well you guys sided with the Devil, just like the Oscars did, and gave the prize to Ruth Gordon's Minnie Castavet and her eternally chalky undertaste - said Marsha Mason:

"I think Ruth had the greater acting accomplishment. Mia was good at being afraid, but Ruth pulled off "loud old NYC lady in league with Satan," succeeding in making her both hilarious, outspoken and very creepy. She reminds me of Barbara Bush that way."