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Entries in Beauty vs Beast (148)

Monday
Oct102016

Beauty vs Beast: Devils in the Dakota

Jason from MNPP here with this week's "Beauty vs Beast" -- you wanna know what's unlikelier than a young Catholic girl being impregnated with the Antichrist thanks to a pact with the Devil made between her role-seeking actor-husband and her elderly mousse-loving neighbors? Unlikelier than all that is the fact that I have never used my favorite movie, aka Rosemary's Baby, for this series before. Somebody call Dr. Shand to lure me off of this ledge with some of his sweet recorder music before I make myself the next Terry Gionoffrio over this. 

Did I think the choice between Rosemary (never Oscar nominee Mia Farrow) and Minnie (Oscar winner Ruth Gordon) would just be too difficult a choice to subject our brains to? I must admit I find it personally impossible. I cannot! So I leave it to you. Just keep reminding yourself that this is no dream, this is really happening...

PREVIOUSLY Where are the Wild Things? Well last week the Wild Things were celebrating Neve Campbell's birthday. And y'all gave her bad girl Suzie a win to top it off - 70% of you voted for her over co-star Denise Richards. Said Ez:

"Aw, this film is so rooted in my '90's teenage girl experience. I saw it with my buddies for the first time at a sleepover birthday party. We all squealed at the Matt/Kevin shower scene! We were big Party of Five fans (I remember that it aired on Sunday nights after The Nanny in Australia) so we were totally there for Neve. So for nostalgia's sake, my vote goes to Neve :)"

Monday
Oct032016

Beauty vs Beast: They Make Everything... Groovy

Jason from MNPP here wishing our favorite 90s scream queen Neve Campbell a very happy 43rd birthday today! Since we've already done a Scream themed "Beauty vs Beast" we've decided to celebrate with another choice Neve-fest, and it don't get no choicer than John McNaughton's spectacularly sleazy 1998 thriller Wild Things. Coming as it did in the middle of Party of Five and after the first two Scream films it was a bit of a shock to watch Neve let loose with some seriously indecent behavior; it was a little less surprising coming from her co-star, the boisterously indecent Denise Richards, but no less entertaining for it. But which Wild Thing makes your heart sing...

PREVIOUSLY Last week Grease was the word, and that word was spelled S-A-N-D-Y. Why? Because Olivia Newton-John, people. She was, as the saying goes, the one that we wanted, to the tune of 77%. Said Derreck:

"Team Sandy for Hopelessly Devoted to You and that outfit at the end but I have a soft spot for John Travolta's final note in Summer Nights because I can actually hit it when my drunk ass does karaoke."

Monday
Sep262016

Beauty vs Beast: What is the Word?

Jason from MNPP here, on the verge of admitting something that might get me lynched a la Frankenstein's Monster round these parts -- I have never seen Grease. Yes, that Grease. The movie Grease. I think I'd get less incredulous looks from my fellow movie buffs (especially of the homosexual sort) if I were talking about grease-the-liquid when I say that, but I speak of the 1978 movie starring Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta.

Oh I have seen bits and pieces, it's really quite unavoidable (I would know, I have tried!), but a full-on straight-through sit-down til Sandy & Danny ride off on their hot-rod chariot into the sky? Nope. Five minutes of it gives me the hives and the heebie-jeebies, folks. Send your hate mail to, well, I guess to the comments of this post. Anyway it's Olivia Newton-John's 68th birthday today and we know our host Nathaniel's a big fan (and hey, I love that "Physical" video) so here's your Grease-themed "Beauty vs Beast." Also you could all probably come up with better Pros & Cons for each character than I could so feel free to share those in the comments... alongside your vitriol, of course...

PREVIOUSLY I have to say I am really proud of you guys for our last edition - in our face-off between Tommy Lee Jones and Best Supporting Actor winner Javier Bardem for No Country For Old Men, you bucked the Oscar trend and gave your prize to Tommy Lee with 55% of the vote. He gets my vote too. Said Nick T:

"Every single time I've watched this I've loved Tommy Lee Jones more and more. Ed Bell and Marge Gunderson would have the loveliest conversation."

Monday
Sep122016

Beauty vs Beast: I Dream of Tommy Lee

Jason from MNPP here, fighting the urge to begin and end this week's edition of "Beauty vs Beast" wth a long monologue about the past and/or the dreams I had last night (although regarding the latter Aaron Taylor-Johnson may or may not have been involved - Hi Aaron!), for one of our finest actors, Mr. Tommy Lee Jones, who is turning 70 this week.

I make reference of course to his great performance in the Coen's masterpiece No Country For Old Men, a performance which is always overshadowed (and yes, I preemptively expect the same to happen here) by Javier Bardem's big hair trigger, but not, in my estimation, rightfully so. As I've revisited the film over the years since its release Bardem's scare show has begun to sink into the background and it's Jones' work as the titual Old Man that lingers - as he delivers the dream monologue that closes the film I find myself wanting to stare at his face and all its hills and valleys and sad wisdom for another hour, and another after that. It is a gift. Or maybe you just feel more comfortable voting for someone who'd dare to threaten Kelly Macdonald...

PREVIOUSLY Two weeks back we went full goofy with a love-fest for Joel Schumacher's Batman and Robin, an admittedly awful movie that I nonetheless watch whenever it's on the TV - in a villain-off it was Uma Thurman's Poison Ivy whose green touch warmed our hearts over Arnold's Mr. Freeze. Said Roger:

"As a queer little Earth child mixing potions in the garden, Poison Ivy really spoke to me. Years later, discovering Uma was a fellow Taurus, child of Venus, made worlds of sense to me. I was in green and cherry-red love."

Monday
Aug292016

Beauty vs Beast: Ice & Ivy

Jason from MNPP here on the occasion of Joel Schumacher's 77th birthday wondering if I'm the only one who feels like his 1997 superhero flop Batman & Robin ought to be a camp classic as revered as Showgirls... or at least Valley of the Dolls. I think the fact that the movie is actively trying to be camp, but failing, throws people off... but it only makes me love it more. It's so... queer. In all the senses. Maybe it's just that Zack Snyder's endless reign of self-seriousness has made this goofy trainwreck seem more endearing, but I manage to quote this movie far more than might be sane, and if it's ever on TV I get sucked into its dopey dreadfulness every time. The same will never be true of Batman v Superman, I'm afraid. (Unless it's Holly Hunter's scenes we're talking about, of course.)

PREVIOUSLY True Story: I was at a wedding this past weekend and they gave out Jordan Almonds! Anyway last week we forced you to take sides in the Bridesmaids battle of the Century, and I am so so proud of y'all that you went with Kristen Wiig's Annie (who'd never let a Jordan Almond get her down) to the tune of 54% -- that's meant as no knock on the brilliantly funny Rose Byrne but, well, I'll let Suzanne explain:

"I know people love Rose Byrne, but Annie is such a great character. It felt like a revolutionary political act in 2011 to make a film that focused on a female protagonist who was depressed because her business failed and she was broke."

Monday
Aug222016

Beauty vs Beast: Here Come The Bridesmaids

Jason from MNPP here -- you want to know something shocking? Alright "shocking" might be me overexaggerating (thank you for that new word, Ryan Lochte) but I was shocked anyway - I have never done an edition of "Beauty vs Beast" for Bridesmaids. Doesn't that seem absolutely impossible? I went back and forth through the archives myself a couple of times to make sure but it's true. I couldn't believe it - I saw it was Kristen Wiig's 43rd birthday today and I thought to myself, "Well maybe there's something besides Bridesmaids that I can do, since obviously I'd have done Bridesmaids by now," but nope, no, haven't, kuh-rrrrrrazy!

So let's! I've seen this movie so many times at this point (if it is on cable, and it is always on cable, I will stop my life and I will watch it) that I managed this entire post without having to cheat and look up things to jog my memory. It's already a modern classic, at just over 5 years old. But where do our loyalties lay when it comes down between these two troublesome girlfriends...

PREVIOUSLY For the Material Girl's birthday we Desperately Sought the answer to "Does anyone appreciate her acting ability?" and speaking of shocker, we do! She grooved into a 2/3rds win over Rosanna Arquette. Said Mike in Canada (and now you know!):

"I'm can't bring myself to vote against either of these fantastic women, so I'll conscientiously abstain, and just wait a week to find out how much Madonna won by."

Monday
Aug152016

Beauty vs Beast: Who's Those Girls

Jason from MNPP here, letting you know for this week's "Beauty vs Beast" that sometimes, at night times, I close and lock the door so no one else can see and... I dance! I dance all by myself! And tomorrow we will all dance (for inspiration) because tomorrow Madonna, the one and only, is turning 58. So now is not the time to haggle over her acting skills - let's just accept the fact that the world would be a less fun place if the she-lady of white lace gloves had never stomped into it, and look at what is probably her best (fictional) turn on-screen, in 1985's Desperately Seeking Susan.

I had never seen this movie until earlier this year when our estimable host Nathaniel dragged me to it at a screening at the Metrograph here in NYC, can you believe that? Speaking of, Metrograph is doing an entire retrospective of the Material Girl's movies later this month, including showing Susan once again, and I highly recommend catching it on a big screen - it's like being dropped into the fanciful 80s East Village of magicians and thrift shops of your dreams. The entire cast is stuffed with about-to-be-somebodies like Aidan Quinn (humina humina) and Laurie Metcalf, and the leading goofball two-some of Rosanna Arquette & Madonna are a true pop delight.

PREVIOUSLY Even though it was his birthday, and even though he's a certifiable acting legend, poor Dustin Hoffman didn't stand a chance -- we'd all long ago been seduced away by Anne Bancroft's smoky eyes and smokier delivery as the iconic older woman in The Graduate; Mrs. Robinson took just under 80% of your vote. Said Tom:

"As soon as Mrs Robinson wondered into his bedroom "mistakenly" looking for the bathroom, I knew this was a performance for the ages."

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