Cinderella Unenchanted

JA from MNPP here - back at the start of December we took a look at the news that Never Let Me Go and One Hour Photo director Mark Romanek had supposedly set his sights on reimagining Cinderella live-action-style for Disney, with Saoirsie Ronan maybe stepping into the glass slippers, and Cate Blanchett playing the villainous Stepmother. To me this certainly seemed an odd fit for him and I said at the time that, knowing his sordid history with the studio system (woe be The Wolf Man production), I wasn't sure why he was tossing himself back into the belly of the beast.

Well maybe he finally sat down and watched Tarsem's Mirror Mirror because sure enough, cut to a month or so later and he's dropped out of the project because of "differing views on how to tell the story." I guess Disney wasn't keen on having Gus the singing mouse reenact the video for "Closer."

Chris Weitz (About a Boy) wrote the script so my guess is, if he's keen to direct something big like this after the Golden Compass semi-debacle, he's got a shot at the gig, or they'll just hire some boring director-for-hire... but for a moment let's pretend we work at Disney (close your eyes and feel the felt mouse-ears cap on your head, I know you can do it) and it's our job to find the perfect director for a live-action Cinderella. Who do you hire? Imagine what someone with real vision could do --- what would David Cronenberg make that pumpkin carriage look like? Or the scene with the slippers! He'd go all old-school Grimm on it with the foot-goring. Sigh, I dream too big.

Bibbidi Bobbidi Booyah

JA from MNPP here - having had their way with the Snow White story (to great financial success one time, and notsomuch the other), Hollywood is setting its sights upon her downtrodden floor-scrubbing slash mouse-touching sister-princess next - Cinderella is going to be turned into a live-action whirylgig by the director Mark Romanek, from a script by Chris Weitz.

I'm a big fan of Romanek's (I am not one of the poor unfortunate souls who found Never Let Me Go anything less than terribly impressive, but I've loved him way back to his videos for Nine Inch nails) and while I'd rather he not get sucked back into the big Hollywood machinery again (trying to make a movie out of Wolf Man wasted several years of possible output from him)... well, I can't say no to the cast that's circling this thing, now can I? Cate Blanchett is talks to play the Wicked Stepmother, while there are three girls mentioned by Variety as being up for the role of the glass-slipper gal, including Saoirsie Ronan - Hanna reunion!

Hanna was basically a fairy tale itself - Red Riding Hood with head-shots. So much that I can't help but fill out Cinderella's cast with all of Hanna's featured players. Eric Bana as the King! (As long as this King goes swimming in his long-johns too, of course.) Olivia Williams as the Fairy Godmother! Michelle Dockery and Jessica Barden as the Evil Stepsisters! Tom Hollander and his co-thugs as the mice! Okay this really needs to happen, I have convinced myself.

Twins: Disney Villains x 2

Celebrating twins daily at 2:22 PM while we're in Gemini

Not all twins share the same parents. Though I suppose one could argue that Walt Disney's children are legion.

Case #1

Ursula & Medusa

If Ursula had legs and Medusa could join her crocs in the water, they could practically become a synchronized swim team.

• One wave memorable up-dos offset by dangly earrings
• Drag queen ready make-up
• Explicitly bra-less bouncing boobage and slovenly bodies
• Adores lounging about on seashell like thrones
• Terrible at feigning niceness to young girls
• ...but great at manipulating them into dangerous situations.
• Two reptilian henchmen (Flotsam & Jetsam / Brutus & Nero)

Case #2

Lady Tremaine & Maleficent

• High cheekbones, arched eyebrows, altogether angular gorgon beauty
• Fond of the purple collar
• Really really fussy about Royal Events and who is and is not invited to such things
• Identical Twin voices courtesy of the same actress Eleanor Audley (pictured above)

Case #3... ??? Make it in the comments.

It's All About the Shoes...

On Easter The Boyfriend and I had brunch with two of our favorite people and their daughters. Like so many other little girls (and boys), they love Disney Princess movies so I had to ask the eldest, who is suddenly chatty, which was her favorite? The question rendered her completely shy, like nobody had ever asked her to embrace her inner film critic (though I find this hard to believe since her dad is a huge movie buff and awesome enough to school me on occassion). I had given up hope of an answer, reverting my attention to the food when she shouted "CINDERELLA" at the top of her lungs over her waffles. "But why" I say? This answer came much more swiftly, like it was the silliest question any adult had ever asked her.

The glass slippers.

She didn't add "duh" but it was right there, loud and clear, in her squeal of laughter.