Bad Movie-thon

Jose here. Ah, it’s Oscar season and all movie lovers can talk about is who was snubbed or who will and should win. While basking in the glow of acclaimed movies and conversations about the merits of sound editing and screenwriting is nothing to frown upon, most people forget that new movies are released each week, yes, even during Oscar season. And yes, most of these releases are of dubious quality, but sometimes you can only watch your favorite Best Foreign Language Film nominee so many times before you want to go see something new, right?

But what to choose among the pile of critically lambasted offerings that 2015 has brought us so far? I saw a bunch of them, to bring you this concise report.

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Tim's Toons: The CGI spectacle and unrealism of Sky Captain

Tim here. This week marks the ten-year anniversary of one of the most important milestones in modern feature animation, though it’s a form of animation that tends to make itself invisible. But when most of the sets, and several of the major characters in movies from Avatar to Gravity to Guardians of the Galaxy are created entirely in a computer by digital artists, can we really keep blithely calling these “live-action movies” without briefly wondering if our pants have just burst in flame? It’s not Disney/Pixar-style cartooning, but these are partially or wholly animated worlds by any definition I can come up with. And it was on September 17, 2004 that Paramount released Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, which made history as the first Hollywood movie made entirely on green screens, with every single location created artificially in post-production...

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Conscious Uncoupling

You've heard by now from Goop, that Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin are in the process of a "Conscious Uncoupling". Yes, that's a fancy therapeutic way to describe a breakup but why is the internet treating it like a virus that must be eradicated? I've been mostly amused but, I'll admit, a little disappointed by the way the internet (generally speaking) is treating this as something to mock. The word "pretentious" is bandied about a lot.

It's a reminder that the internet as a collective is stuck in perpetual adolescence or at least most people are, on and off the internet. I don't mean to be a killjoy or a scold but honest question: what's so bad about a long term couple with kids trying to break up amicably? More power to them if they can stay friendly. 

Misery loves company. Maybe its our own shame at our own messy breakups that make us uncomfortable with the couples who break up amicably when we couldn't? Most people don't remember it now but people were weirded out by Demi Moore and Bruce Willis staying friendly, too. But, hey, some people do. Don't most of us know at least one former couple who are still friendly and isn't that more healthy and appealing (even if, yes, unfair and annoying) or at least easier to stomach in the long run than that friend with lifelong bile for their ex that you have to taste every time the name comes up? 

Don't get me wrong. I love the kind of volatile coupling/uncoupling/recoupling of the Liz & Dick's of this world as much as any guilty bystander living vicariously through celebrities but would that really be a good look for Paltrow and Martin? It would be so off brand. "Conscious uncoupling" is PERFECT for Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martins personae. Maybe it's because I am not opposed to the sometimes quacky but occasionally eye-opening allure of self-help books or to Coldplay records or to Gwyneth in general (Can this conscious uncoupling include conscious filmmaking?) but I wish them the best. Who needs all that drama of the alternative?

The internet needs a big embarrassing open-hearted kumbaya session with a sing-along choral finale. Internet, heal thyself! 

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

The Ultimate "You Can't Sit With Us"

Jose here. True story, in ealy 1998 I was obsessed with the two women to the right. Julia was the star of the first non-animated movie I owned on VHS (My Best Friend's Wedding) and Gwynnie was my straight-crush du jour having stolen my heart in Great Expectations. That year I deemed them both as my favorite actresses (I was 12) and had forgotten all about how giddy they made me until I saw them together in this picture (taken at some gala celebrating Sean Penn). Of course, I started fantasizing/thinking about all of my favorite random celebrity couplings pictures (this one of Madonna making Pé drink champagne is a very close second), not to mention thinking about how Goldie would fare as Violet in August... but before I go down an endless pit of actressing, let us know:

What are some of your favorite random celebrity pictures? Which celebrities you'd like to see hanging out together?

Iron Podcast

Bet you thought we were done talking about Iron Man Three. Nope. The guys at Panel Culture, a comic book podcast so good it makes me want to read comics again, invited me to talk about Marvel's latest billion dollar grosser and I gladly obliged. Some of you will have even talked to Owen, the host, in the comments right here at TFE so you know he's good people. 

me, my iron man three(d) glasses and the iron man sketch i doodled on my iphone waiting for the movie to start

While the subject is mostly the Iron Man franchise we also stray into other Marvel flicks as well as X-Men and personal comic-book lore. (The first I ever remember holding in my hands --  and I held it as it were holy scrit - was that mutant mag) Even if you are done with Tony & Pepper and don't wanna hear me yammer about them, you should definitely give other episodes of Panel Culture a listen if you're at all into comic books.