Instagram Battles: Armie, Kristin, or Billy?

Would you rather...

• give Armie Hammer a massage?
• go to a gown fitting with Kristin Chenoweth? 
• go falconing with Billy Magnussen? 

Birthday massage... Check. #painisweaknessleavingthebody

A photo posted by Armie Hammer (@armiehammer) on Aug 28, 2016 at 5:02am PDT

So much beauty and glamour in one photo! @kchenoweth in our ombré tulle gown. Happy Saturday! 💞💞

A photo posted by Christian Siriano (@csiriano) on Sep 3, 2016 at 9:52am PDT

America!! Falconing!! #nomadcowboys #worldnomadgames #worldnomadgames2016 #livefortoday #america #kyrgyzstan

A photo posted by Billy Magnussen (@billymagnussen) on Sep 3, 2016 at 5:03am PDT

Thoughts I Had... While Staring at this Image from "Maps to the Stars"

David Cronenberg's Maps to the Stars (2014) just released this image featuring Sarah Gadon and Julianne Moore. 

my thoughts presented to you in order they appeared...

• I welcome a good scalp massage but I'm not sure I'd want one in the context of a David Cronenberg movie. Too many orifices!
• My visine drops repulse me this morning. Drip this movie on my eyeballs RIGHT NOW
• Is Sarah Gadon the new _________ ?
• This is Sarah Gadon's fourth movie directed by someone named Cronenberg.
• Do Father & Son Cronenberg have some sort of sick threeway relationship going on with her straight out of a Cronenberg movie? Do they tie her up with rubber hoses and talk dirty about her mutant vagina?
• Sarah Gadon does the most amazing blank face acting. She's beautiful, sure, but the beauty is blonde generic. And yet... her face is unsettling in its robotic disinterest (Cosmopolis), society frivolity (Belle), pregnant concern (Enemy) or weird ball-and-chainery (A Dangerous Method)
• I have guilt for skipping Brandon Cronenberg's Antiviral
• Will Julianne Moore remember what it means to be an auteur vessel after all these disappointing or at least non-challenging movies of late? It's been a long time since the Haynes days
• I have touched Julianne Moore twice (handshake 2002 / hug 2010) but she was not naked on a table
• If you touch Julianne Moore's ginger locks, all your wounds are healed. True fact. Sarah Gadon will live to be 100.
• Sarah Gadon plays a character named "Clarice". Julianne Moore surely winced every time she spoke the name.
• I keep forgetting what this movie is about but I like to be surprised so don't tell me!