The Worst of The Worst Summer Seasons?
Thursday, August 22, 2013 at 11:58PM Tim here. Oscar Season is about ready to officially kick off, with the first Gurus of Gold listing landing today, and the massively important Venice, Telluride , and Toronto film festivals all starting within the next week or two, but before we move into the last phase of the movie calendar year, I’d like to spend one more moment eulogizing the year that has been, nodding one last time in the direction of the summer that, just about everybody agrees, has been the absolute pits.
We’ve already gone over that, so instead of belaboring a point, I’d like to ask the question, was summer, 2013, really the worst ever? I’m pretty confident that the answer to that is no, and to prove it, I’d like to offer up three possibilities for the title of Worst Summer Movie Season of All Time that put 2013 to shame. Or, y’know, make it look good. Whichever way you want to put it.
Three terrible summers after the jump
The Summer of 1998
Now, if the way you want to approach this question is by counting up the number of movies in a given year that were good, 1998 ends up looking pretty great: in North America, the highest-grossing film of the year was July’s Saving Private Ryan, a movie with its unmistakable flaws (that graveside framework narrative is, legitimately, my least-favorite thing in any Steven Spielberg movie), but one that certainly holds up as worthy filmmaking and far more thoughtful and challenging than your usual popcorn fare. And it was preceded in theaters by such titles as Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and The Truman Show, the former of which would surely be relegated to a limited arthouse release nowadays, and the latter of which has proven to be unusually prescient for a satire.
But the mere fact that a super-violent R-rated war movie could win the yearly box office race is enough to suggest that something was amiss with the more traditional audience-pleasing spectacle, and the tentpole films that year tell a much different story than a survey of the films which have hung on to their appreciative audiences since then. There’s the pair of asteroid movies, starting with Deep Impact, which looks good almost solely because it was better than Armageddon, the film where Michael Bay officially became Michael Bay, to the dismay of everyone who likes some level of legibility and clarity to their mindless explosions. Even those look like sterling cinema compared to the likes of Doctor Dolittle, ghastly even by the standards of Eddie Murphy’s family-friendly phase, the moronic sequel Lethal Weapon 4, the aimless TV spin-off The X-Files, and the legendarily unwatchable The Avengers, in which Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman avoid humiliating themselves solely because Sean Connery gets to pull all the focus by parading around in a bear suit. And reigning over everything else is the utterly terrible Godzilla, which only became a minor hit even on the wings of the most intrusive and unavoidable ad campaign of the 1990s, and whose achingly boring plot is an insult to the dignity of giant rubber monsters everywhere.
The Summer of 2007
A year of constant, irredeemably bad sequels: the overstuffed May that bore witness to Spider-Man 3, Shrek the Third, and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End also bore witness to three of the most unliked threequels in modern memory. Later on, the morally ugly Hostel: Part II stank up the multiplexes, followed by Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (quite possibly the cheapest-looking A-list comic book movie of the last ten years), the utterly stupid Evan Almighty, and eventually the hugely unnecessary Rush Hour 3. In the non-sequel realm, we find gems like the hideous gay-mocking of I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, and Bay’s very first Transformers, a movie that unleashed a howling new vortex of evil into the world.
Standing opposed to all that: Ratatouille. And maybe The Bourne Ultimatum, if you’re not one of the people who dislike its shaky aesthetic. A few other decent movies besides, but the sheer numbers tell the tale.
The summer of 2009
I don’t need anything besides Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra to make my case for me. Certianly, nothing else that came out that year to reach such mystifyingly wretched depths, but the whole season was just desolate: Up is the absolute pinnacle as far as wide releases go, and that’s already a step down from the Pixar films that immediately preceded it. The big Marvel movie – usually a reliable, if frequently unimaginative annual tradition – was the hellish X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and even that’s respectable compared to the like of Terminator: Salvation, Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian, and the deathless guinea pig spy movie G-Force. Compared to the other years I’ve cited, 2009 was stronger in limited releases: The Hurt Locker, Moon, The Limits of Control and Julia all saw release that summer. But then we have to factor in Woody Allen’s putrid Whatever Works, if we’re going to bring up limited releases, and nobody wants to think about that.
Suddenly, doesn’t 2013 look that much brighter? The enjoyable if unexceptional Iron Man 3 and Star Trek Into Darkness, the tepid but hardly rancid Man of Steel and The Wolverine, and a pretty fantastic slate of limited releases from Before Midnight to Frances Ha to, just under the wire, Short Term 12, making its New York/Los Angeles bow this very weekend. Could popcorn cinema be in a healthier place? Undoubtedly, but it could also be a lot worse.
Regardless, it feels good to put it behind us. Farewell, mediocre blockbusters, and good riddance! Bring on the Oscarbait!
Reader Comments (25)
Summer of 1998 was indeed all kinds of terrible at the movies, yet I still have a soft spot for the (admittedly) not-so-good Six Days, Seven Nights, which gave Anne Heche her first (and only...sigh) leading role in a romantic comedy. (Boy, did she ever deliver so much more in terms of bonhomie and chemistry than the script and co-star, respectively, elicited or deserved.) That, and There's Something About Mary, yo.
I really don't get all the vitriol directed towards this summer! Sure it had a fair share of terrible movies, but doesn't every summer? I may be blessed with our main film festival here but the films I got to see this summer were great, Gatsby was filled with flaws but it was totally beautiful and a enjoyable watch, now you see me was popcorn Rae hat was original and fun, the heat was just hilarious, iron man 3 was clever! The conjuring was terrifying and had the beautiful Farmiga front and centre! And all the limited releases were so good! I don't know, sure there was junk but the good outweighed the bad for me at least :)
The original Transformers is a great popcorn movie. Lighten up.
Hi Nathaniel, I'm just wondering why you didn't watch Pacific Rim (or is your list of 62 films seen so far not updated?). It's one of the more frustrating stories of the summer because it's a great summer film that should have earned much more than it did in the US (my opinion, of course). Did you really intentionally miss it?
Sorry, I know Tim wrote this entry (nice one, btw), but I'm sure Nathaniel will get to read my comment anyway :)
I didn't believe you at first when I read that Saving Private Ryan was the highest grossing film that year! I had to look it up. It even beat Armageddon, I was pretty surprised by that. Also, Patch Adams was in the top ten for that year...
Ron -- i didn't see it. I'm not a big del Toro fan (i know thats sacrilge online) and I was getting tired of all the giant f'ing robots in cinema
Mareko -- met too. Anne Heche was so deserving of a big movie career. (sigh)
Tim: Man of Steel? It's like a piece of bread that's mostly good, but somehow burnt on the bottom that colours your taste of the whole thing. If they cut to black at the scene of Amy Adams cradling Cavill, I'd agree it's just tepid, but the additional scenes make this character (that they're really TRYING to convince you is a pure good hero) seem, well, psychotic. F.
I liked the X-Files film but then I was a 'super-fan' at the time and Deep Impact wasn't totally awful so that rules out 1998 for me, the 2007 summer wins (loses) !
Funny, between Up, Star Trek, District 9, Drag Me to Hell and Inglorious Basterds (the latter three unmentioned in this post) and all the limited release titles, I think of 2009 as being one of the stronger summers in recent history.
1998 and 2007 were not standouts but they both had a lot more quality titles than they're being given credit for here!
But I don't get all the negativity toward summer 2013. I assume this "worst summer ever" crap is just the usual stupid internet hyperbole.
I think the issue is there is absolutely no consensus of what was the good summer movie this year. There are those who will defend Man of Steel. There are those who stick up for World War Z. There's a passionate fan base for Pacific Rim. There are people who liked Star Trek Into Darkness. There are people who liked Iron Man 3. There are definitely people who liked The Wolverine. Problem is, the love of those movies have an equal amount of dismissals to outright hatred though possibly the biggest thing to make of the season is how easy it is to forget a lot of these movies almost instantly. Even The Heat had to deal with a 'tough room' so to speak, some were tired of Melissa McCarthy already and were never believers in Bridesmaids.
Re: Summer of 2007
Actually one of the best years in releases. Of course, many of them were crowded in the fall and winter. Hot Fuzz (I am not ashamed to say it was in my Top Ten of 2007 list) was a April release in the US. Probably a big mistake in the end. I think it may end up really paying off that The World's End is an August release in America.
It's weird to think the freshest, most populist, movie release was The Simpsons Movie. Say what you will about the TV series but the movie actually was throwing plenty of fastballs like the early years.
We also had movies that lent itself to cult followings or niche audiences like the US release of Sunshine, Stardust, and Hot Rod. These were, of course, tiny embers. Superbad was also a sleeper hit, an August release with Michael Cera as the most well-known face and that was when he was just known for Arrested Development.
I think this was a great summer for indies. It took over the studios in my opinion. I agree about anne heche. I see a comeback coming one day. She is so natural. She would be great in a woody allen film. Imagine if she was jasmine.
Josh -- jesus. u just exploded my brain.
BLUE CELESTIA, starring Anne Heche
She could've just recited her whole memoir and she'd be in my Top 5 this year.
I submit the Summer of 2003. It may have had its high points (Finding Nemo, Open Range) but I defy you to match the crapfest that was on display that season.
A partial list:
Gigli
Bad Boys 2
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Matrix Reloaded
Hollywood Homicide
Dumb and Dumberer
From Justin to Kelly
Hulk
Marci X
Daddy Day Care
Charile’s Angel Full Throttle
Terminator 3
Legally Blond 2
Michal c -- from justin to kelly. LOL.
Tim: As soon as saw your headline I thought of 2007: the terrible 3s: Spider-Man, Pirates, Shrek. I eliminate 2009 because UP was so good. Plus a best picture arriving in July? And Michael Mann? And a not-bad love story in 500 DAYS OF... But I still have a sour taste from the summer of 2007.
That said, 2013 is still pretty disappointing. I like MAN OF STEEL more than most, STID less than most. The apocalyptic movies did nothing for me.
I saw both the Star Trek sequel and Man of Steel and they were both so long, with action scenes & climaxes so protracted and boring I ended up just sitting out the rest of the summertime fare. It has indeed been one of those years. At this point just looking forward to the Oscar bait this fall and goin' to the movies again.
This article reminded me of G-Force and thus I am screaming inside my head over the thoughts of seeing that movie; yikes. Otherwise, thanks for, as Anton Ego would say, perspective.
Michael C: "Matrix Reloaded," "Hulk," and "Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines" are all good-to-great action fare that have been unfairly picked on in recent years.
I feel bad that I missed out on the whole conversation! Busy work day. But glad that I seem to have struck a chord with everybody.
Mostly, I just want to say that Volvagia's burnt toast analogy for Man of Steel is the funniest thing I've read on the internet today.
Those that call this Summer Movie Season terrible are being melodramatic but it has been fairly disappointing (at least in terms of blockbusters, anyway). Other than After Earth, there were no truly terrible blockbusters. Hell, I liked Iron Man 3, Man Of Steel, Star Trek Into Darkness, Pacific Rim and World War Z... Unfortunately, I just didn't love any of them.
I consider Iron Man 3 the best of the Iron Man films but that still only puts it in the good to pretty good category. Although I enjoyed it, I wanted to love Star Trek Into Darkness but there were too many story choices that were either lazy, pointless or excessive. Man Of Steel, which was my most anticipated film of 2013, was similar to ST:ID (although I'll probably buy the Blu-Ray). It was entertaining but the script just wasn't well-developed enough. Pacific Rim and World War Z actually turned out better than I thought but that's mostly because I wasn't excited about either one in the beginning.
I sound like an entitled fanboy but I would take one summer movie I'm passionate about over five that I merely liked. I mean last summer had a fair share of bad films but I loved The Dark Knight Rises, so I at least had something to go see in theaters multiple times. This summer, I only saw MOS in theaters a second time to see if it got better.
Agreed with the above poster who mentioned Stardust in defense of summer 2007. I'd also throw in Hairspray, which may not have appealed to everyone, but was, I felt, one of the few movie musicals that really worked. And maybe it's because I was the target demographic at the time, but I really enjoyed the first Transformers for being a lot of fun and for having mind-blowing visual effects.
Personally, I felt summer of 2008 was a low point for movies aside from Wall-E and Dark Knight- many of the movies showed initial promise but failed to deliver or seemed uninspired from the get-go, including Indiana Jones 4, Mamma Mia, Prince Caspian, Hancock, Step Brothers, etc. Even if summer 2007's 3-quels were overbloated, at least they had big ambitions and a lot of spectacle.
2009 might have had the best August ever, though, with the one-two-three punch of District 9, Ponyo, and Inglourious Basterds. Plus Star Trek and Harry Potter 6 were solid earlier in the summer.