The Three R's with Cameron Diaz in 'Bad Teacher'

Rudeness.

Raciness.

No Respect.

Glenn here to help you guys ease back into the school year with the help of Cameron Diaz as Miss Halsey in Bad Teacher. Lord know we could have all used a teacher like her in those first few days, watching movies and napping.

Anyone seen Stand and Deliver? Show of hands. You kidding me? Edward James Olmos? Lou Diamond Phillips?

For as hilarious as I find this film - yes, I know it's a minority opinion, but I guffaw wildly and it's surprisingly rewatchable - nothing quite beats the moment when Diaz enters the building she thought she'd escaped forever and remembers the hell that is being a middle school teacher (or, in her case, any teacher at all). You and me both, Cam.

There's only so many times swearing and cursing can be funny (hell, kids-say-the-darndest-things style of humor was played out years before Bad Teacher came along) and I think the film is actually rather smart in focusing a lot of its energy on visual gags like this one, or others mostly revolving around Cameron Diaz's wonderfully expressive face and body language. 

Sadly, in one of those rare instances of the Golden Globes having a great performance by a big star in a huge box office smash to choose from, they glanced right over Diaz's return to the (sorta) A list. Instead they chose the two women from Carnage and Michelle Williams from the laugh riot singalong My Week with Marilyn (who won). I'm not going to complain about Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids. That's still fantastic. Still, being in a critically lambasted movie has never stopped them before and Diaz's work here is truly committed and gutsy stuff.

Was it that Diaz was too... caustic? I really have to say that in spite of the hit-and-miss quality of the movies she has appeared in lately, Diaz has to my mind become one of the most fearless actors out there. Say what you will about the film or her performance, but Diaz in The Counsellor sure was something that's hard to forget. Her performance in Annie looks like a ridiculous mess, but one I'm fascinated to watch unfold. And as for Knight & Day? Well, I'm not sure I've seen a performer is recent years attempt to make a character that unlikable in a way that wasn't already on the page, somehow elevating the film to a strange form of performance art on her behalf.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, there's little message to really be learnt from Bad Teacher. Except maybe to follow Diaz's lead. No, don't be rude, racy and disrespectful. Rather, be fearless and don't put up with the crap. And before you go...

Please help yourself to some delicious snacks and drinks in the back.

Did you have a bad teacher? And what do you think of the Cameron Diaz of the '10s? Fearless or frightening?

Podcast: Cheetah Tattoos & Broken Sailboats

Nathaniel, Nick and Joe welcome back Katey, who's been in London gazing into Chris Hemsworth's eyes at the Thor junket. We gathered to discuss J.C. Chandor's All is Lost but as per usual, the conversation turned.

Topics include but are not limited to...

• Gotham Nominations: Blue Caprice & Inside Llewyn Davis
• Awards Futures for The Butler & Frances Ha
• The Counselor & Cameron Diaz
• Actor Retirements from Goldie Hawn to Leonardo DiCaprio
• Wolf of Wall Street & Release Date Swappage

... and a few leftover feelings from 2012 from Bad Teacher to Django Unchained turn up, too! You can listen at the bottom of the post or download it on iTunes. Join in the conversation in the comments.

 

supplemental reading: this tweet, this post

All is Lost for the Counselor in Gotham

Cinema de Gym: 'There's Something About Mary'

Kurt here with the third installment of Cinema de Gym, the new series in which I mix film with fitness by chiming in on the movies that play at my local health club. The cinematic portions of my gym visits come near the end of the hour, when lifting segues into cardio. Since the day's movie plays on a continuous loop, I never know what, exactly, I'm in for, but I seem to have knack for being just in time for the “money scenes,” if you will.

On the day that Swimfan was playing, I slipped in just as Jesse Bradford was being tricked into having chlorinated psycho sex with Erika Christensen, and recently, when the movie du jour was There's Something About Mary, you know I climbed up onto that elliptical just as Ben Stiller's zippered balls were ready for their close-up.

Even after 13 years, I'm baffled by There's Something About Mary, a movie that, for me, is the '90s equivalent of The Hangover – a massively popular, jump-on-the-laugh-wagon comedy success that's only minimally funny. I can vividly remember allowing myself to be convinced of the film's hilarity, when in fact I only truly laughed at scenes with Magda, the randy, sun-burnt neighbor. Isn't that funny? The communal mentality of giving mediocre comedy a pass just because so many other people have inexplicably decided it's hysterical? I know better now than to fall for such things, but so many other people don't, including the chorus of sweaty men surrounding me in the gym's dark theater room, all of them laughing and looking at each other with validation-seeking eyes like, “Don't we just love this franks-and-beans bit?!”

Stiller zips up

Whereas The Hangover appeals to the layman's thrill of drinking to forget and then straining to remember, Mary, of course, thrives on sheer shock value. Many would probably call it a pioneer of the censor-pushing sight gag. But without WTF moments like Stiller's we-got-a-bleeder wardrobe malfunction or Cameron Diaz's spunky hair gel incident, what are we left with? A creepy, predominantly mean-spirited affair that essentially endorses stalking? An inane comedy for rude, sweaty gym rats that dares to call itself a love story? That delightful “Build Me Up, Buttercup” coda notwithstanding, there's something about all of it that just doesn't add up, and one last belly laugh from a dude tickled by Mary's “retarded” brother was all I needed to cut off my cardio session early.

Conclusions?

1. Scan the room thoroughly before entering a screening of There's Something About Mary.
2. Diaz, if you think about it, was launched to superstardom while being made a lust object, punch line and sperm receptacle all at once.
3. The “shocking” moments of Mary haven't aged any better than neighbor Magda's weathered, leathered skin.
4. My gym has got to get some new programmers!

What say you, TFE readers? Smitten with Mary? Looking forward to Bad Teacher?

Sage Advice From the Movies

Always reward correct answers with chocolate!
The next time anybody tells you what you want to hear, give them a candy bar. (Unless that somebody is a dog or an unfortunate human with allergies) Positive reinforcement, baby!

"The Great Lesson: Chocolate, the Ultimate Reward" -Nathaniel Rogers

This worked for Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds. Let that be a lesson to us all!

Any teachers reading? Have you tried this or do you do boring things like give them good grades when they answer well?

I did this drawing for Illustration Friday since the week's theme is "lesson" and the very first thing that came to mind was the ridiculous Dangerous Minds (1995) which I love, don't you? I love chocolate more than just about anything and if "White Bread" Michelle Pfeiffer was tossing it to me for being a good boy I'd probably love it even more.

Next up in the ridiculous teacher genre:
BAD TEACHER with Cameron Diaz. We didn't do a yes no maybe so on that trailer but are you excited for it?