Ryan & Anne ... Sitting in a Tree...

Two of our best recent additions to the A List of Movie Stardom share a birthday, so let's sing a collective off pitched "happy birthday" for Ryan Gosling and Anne Hathaway today, turning 31 and 29. Given Ryan Gosling's absurdly potent chemistry with virtually all female co-stars, and his and Anne's mutual "photoshopped" bodies (seriously?), we're pretty certain that Hathaway is already stripping and running for the bedroom set if anyone offers them a movie together...

Gosling and Other Drugs

Isn't it weird that Hollywood hasn't thought to pair them?

If Ryan keeps up his current pace and doesn't quit the movies to make babies as he threatened earlier this year he'll soon have co-starred with virtually every important age-appropriate actress. By this time in 2013 we'll have seen him with rising Rooney Mara (Lawless) and reunited with Emma Stone (Gangster Squad). And he's already worked magic with McAdams, Wood, Mulligan, Dunst, and Williams!

poll by twiigs.com

 I recently suggested that I thought he'd look great with Andrea Riseborough (or TV stars Deborah Ann Woll or Katee Sackhoff if anyone would ever give them the big screen role they deserve.) but readers countered with some man-on-man suggestions. And since Gosling's enviable range hasn't yet dropped him into a gay role, what's your favorite reader suggestion there? 

poll by twiigs.com

Anne Hathaway hasn't been paired as frequently with opposite sex peers who share her star wattage with the notable exceptions of Gyllenhaal (twice), McAvoy, and Christian Bale next year (at least we assume the Bat and the Cat are still going to be scrappy sex partners, though who knows! Nolan's films do tend to swerve asexual.)

Who would you love to see Anne Hathaway paired with once she's out of the cat suit?

P.S. Today would have been Grace Kelly's 82nd birthday. We were just discussing the casting of her upcoming biopic.

P.P.S. Easy ways to kill time today on tumblr: Fuck Yeah, Anne Hathaway, Ryan Gosling vs. Puppies, Feminist Ryan Gosling. 

Cast This! All Black "Steel Magnolias"

Everyone is doing it... why shouldn't we? I caught the news on Twitter where everyone I follow (but particularly Joe & Mark) were sounding off about who they'd like to see in the just announced remake of Steel Magnolias (for Lifetime) which will use an all black cast. Since blacktresses and the unfortunate dearth of roles for them are one of our pet topics here at The Film Experience we can't really let this one go without a discussion.

Clockwise from top left: Hannah (Annelle), Maclaine (Ouiser), Parton (Truvy), Field (M'Lynn), Dukakis (Clairee), and Roberts (Shelby)

The original film, a big hit in 1989 that has had an infinite DVD shelf life with the gays, gave Julia Roberts her first Oscar nomination. It was another Oscar vehicle at the time for Sally Field, a star-laden adaptation of a hit play that opened in November, but the only thing Oscar ended up noticing was Julia Roberts all fresh faced and quivering ginormous lips. At the time Sally Field loved to lay claim to discovering Julia though it was the nascent superstar's fourth film to hit theaters.  

She's mine!

Yes, I saw it in theaters. Shut up. I know my 80s movie stories are totally aging me. It can't be helped! This will happen to some of you when they start remaking 90s and 00s movies like Total Recall and  Spider-M (oh wait. damn). The cast at the time was NOT listed alphabetically but had to deal with old fashioned 'whose the biggest star right now?' billing so it went like so...

• SALLY FIELD as "M'Lynn" the no nonsense mom who worries herself sick over her reckless life-loving diabetic daughter 
• DOLLY PARTON as "Truvy" the big haired big hearted owner of the beauty shop where the cast continually congregates.
• SHIRLEY MACLAINE as "Ouiser" the mean spirited wealthy brunt of many of the jokes 
• DARYL HANNAH as "Annelle" the bumbling beauty shop apprentice and born again Christian. 'Her personal troubles will not interfere with her ability to do good hair.'
• OLYMPIA DUKAKIS as "Clairee" Ouiser's wise-cracking bestie, also rich, but infinitely better-tempered.
• ...and JULIA ROBERTS as "Shelby" a fragile young bride who is desperate to have a normal life

The cast (sans Dukakis) at the NYC premiere in November 1989

So which black actresses would you cast in these roles?
EXTRA POINTS to anyone who manages to recast Tom Skeritt's and Dylan McDermott's parts, too. [Psssst. Shamelessly name dropping alert: Dylan McDermott was at that Hugo screening on Monday night, just 8 seats away from me!]
DOUBLE EXTRA POINTS to anyone who manages to recast it without using Viola Davis or Octavia Spencer who, trust, aren't going to be hurting for offers post The Help.
TRIPLE EXTRA POINTS to anyone who can do it using Steel Magnolia's formula at the time (4 previous Oscar nominees or winners, 2 absolute legends, 1 current sex symbol de-glammed and 1 newbie who is clearly on her way to major stardom)

Go!

Cast This! Future X-Men

It's Mutant Week!

We haven't done a "Cast This!" in awhile. The X-Men franchise may have a disproportionate amount of blue members (Angel, Beast, Mystique, Nightcrawler) at various times in their long history but the color that keeps those movie mutants going is green. Eventually they'll get to all the characters if you keep buying your tickets. Or, they won't and they'll just keep redoing the few they've concentrated on. (Those super lame cameos by every mutant who ever existed in X-Men Last Stand and X-Men Origins: Wolverine DO NOT COUNT.) Since I grew up obsessing over the X-Men, once every 3 years or so I think "I should read those comics again" only to immediately abandon the notion after one issue when I realize that the universe is too crowded. There's no continuity or internal logic I can suss out and even when people can turn their whole body into steel or projectile vomit acid while flying on butterfly wings, I like for things to make sense.

The incredibly lame "X-Men Last Stand". DO-OVER!

Somehow comic book mutants keep dying, quitting, depowering, getting lost in alternate dimensions, and returning to fight once more. Some characters age out of the game. Others never age at all. The actual comic books do the same, some resetting to issue #1, others ending entirely. Nothing makes any sense for the newcomers... even with a study guide indicating, perhaps, that comic book companies don't expect anybody to keep reading for decades, hence all the resetting and undoing.

Now that they've hit the reset button yet again, who should we cast to play our favorite mutants that haven't gotten a fair shake or need radical do-overs? I've selected only 5½ characters because this could go on for weeks and it'd be easy to list 20. Plus: most of us wouldn't know enough working actor options for interesting characters like "Karma", a Vietnamese lesbian who possesses people or fan favorite "Jubilee" a Chinese-American teen gymnast who generates explosions. Just for two random examples.

Your casting choices in the comments please...

FAIR SHAKE

DAZZLER
They haven't used Alison Blaire, this goddess of light manipulation, presumably because she's an easy character to get wrong. But if any medium is the right one for "light shows" isn't it the movies? Attempts to update Dazzler, of disco-dolly rollerskating origin, tend to trap her in yet more period-specific pop looks. Remember that 80s aerobic blue look which screamed "Olivia Newton-John!" just as ONJ's fame was dwindling? But while the X-franchise is period mode, why not use her for X-Men Second Class (this will thankfully never be the title;  the reviews would write themselves!) and wrap her back up in 70s disco?

If Dazzler's original sartorial aesthetic is good enough for Lady Gaga in this new millenium, isn't it good enough for Marvel Studios?

Like Dazzler, Like Gaga: blue electric bolt eye decor, sparkly silver bodices

WHO YOU NEED: I'd be tempted to suggest Gaga, Britney, Ke$ha or XTina but STUNT CASTING only works when the stuntperson can actually act. Who would you choose? You need a 20something blonde who is shiny, sexy, easily manipulated (oops. we all have our flaws) and believable as both pop star AND mutant powered hero.

COLOSSUS
Daniel Cudmore looked the part in X2: X-Men United, but it was a bit part. But this Russian metal muscle man could look spectacular with the advances in CGI. Or not. Plus Piotr Rasputin is the only major member of the iconic X-Men team from the late 70s/early 80s that hasn't gotten a large role yet. But mostly I'm bringing Colossus up because as I was attending that Sandra Bernhard show the other night, Cheyenne Jackson was right in front of me in line filing in. After catching my breath -- he's impossibly better looking in person -- I thought "Hmmm. Colossus?" Take a look...

Whatch'a think?

NORTHSTAR / AURORA
They were originally members of Alpha Flight (a Canadian superhero team) but Alpha Flight's ties to the X-Men are plentiful and Northstar at least has been on an X-roster from time to time. These French Canadian twins have super speed, and huge bursts of blinding light when paired. Northstar, a star athlete, was (arguably) the first out gay superhero. The twins have such a convoluted and frequently revised back story (they're fairies, now they're dead, they're...whatever...) that it's best to just chuck it all and know that they're both extremely hot, lithe, black haired babes. They've cleaned up Northstar's personality over the years (I have no idea what happened to Aurora) but he started out egotistical and a bit amoral and she started off batshit bonkers with virgin/whore split personalities and they'd be really fun in movies if they were cast and executed properly.

WHO YOU NEED: I thought it would be a fun challenge to cast temperamental unisex hotness -- boy/girl twins with elfin beauty. I'm not sure I have a good suggestion so I'm hoping you do...

DO OVER

STORM
Halle Berry gave us the lamest "super" interpretation outside of... well, no, just the lamest. And she did it twice! (see also: Catwoman). Halle has her charms but few actors are suitable to all genres and she's like Kryptonite for this one. 

In many ways, Storm is THE female superhero, Marvel Division, so popular and so powerful that when they did one of those crossover things with MARVEL/DC decades ago, she had to face off against Wonder Woman herself. The movies have been content to paint her as a subordinate teacher/mother hen type for students and seriously mute her powers (or at least cover them in molasses... seriously get on with it already in those action sequences!).

WHO YOU NEED: an actress of african descent, who radiates fierceness and power and physicality -- Storm is still the most popular black superhero ever created and way up their in the female hero ranks, too -- but can also be the mother figure to young students. Most fans, including myself, wanted Angela Bassett back in the day but she's aged out of the part (sigh). You'd also want someone kind of scary unpredictable. Remember when Storm went through her punk phase?

ROGUE
I mean this as no knock against Anna Paquin who is fine in the movies, but the movies have had a very timid perception of this character. Rogue has long been one of the most fascinating mutants because of her complex psychological struggles connected to her powers. The movies reduced this to her touch incapacitating other people by basically stealing their life force but Rogue wasn't able to do anything much with this life force. In the comics, she can readily "borrow" powers, making her fierce in battle and given that sometimes she has other people's memories and personalities knocking around her head, she's also kind of fucked up crazy as well as continually sex-starved. Or at least that's how she started out... the comics are always messin' with the story. In short: the movies haven't even begun to explore her properly.

WHO YOU NEED: A southern (or southern-accent-capable) actress with a remarkably fluid expressiveness so as to better indicate all of Rogue's internal confusions and slippery crowded persona.

Five Characters. GO!

Cast This: Johnny Depp's "The Thin Man" Remake

Let's talk about Johnny Depp for a moment. Is anyone busier?

Depp sneaking away from all original movie ideas.

He seems to be rivalling Michael Fassbender (rising star division) and Leonardo DiCaprio (first dibs 30something division) on "most films in the pipeline". Aside from signing on for endless Pirates of the Caribbean films (we thought one was enough but oh how we loved it at the time), there's Tim Burton's Dark Shadows adaptation (I almost typed Dark Habits there are no druggy horny nuns in that one) and The Lone Ranger (which Depp says will be significantly rework the Tonto/Ranger dynamic), he and Rob Marshall are prepping a remake of the 30s classic The Thin Man for 2013.

What is with Depp's weird insistence on only doing remakes and sequels? That such an original performer would give himself over so completely to repetition and revisions is eerily similar to the "no more original material!" edict that seems to have consumed his once very original favorite collaborator as well (That's right, Mr. Burton, we're talking to you!)

A remake of The Thin Man (1934), one of the first feature "franchises" is a pretty terrible idea for a number of reasons and not just for the totally norm reason that the original is just fine the way it is.

There are two enormous hurdles to surmount in relaunching that franchise and the unbeatable William Powell / Myrna Loy chemistry is numero uno. Depp is a wonderful actor but when has he ever had chemistry that fine with a co-star? Think hard. Yep, he's something of an island actor. Problem dos is that though the 1930s should technically have been more backwards in terms of gender equality, it's pretty tough to beat the leading ladies of the 1930s in terms of gender equality starpower. Loy was a real lulu and who the hell will ever be able to top her impressive juggling of loving wife, comic sparring partner and elegant diva?

You're going to need an actress who can keep Depp on his toes whilst staring him straight in the eyes and simultaneously never dropping the witticisms from her lips. As much as Hollywood will want to cast a 20something woman in the this role, Johnny Depp will be 50 when the movie comes out so the Nora to his Nick should at least be in her 30s, but hopefully early 40s. (To be anal about it, there was a 13 year age difference between the original Nick and Nora Charles so we'll allow for an actress as young as 35. We're generous that way.) Remember you're looking for an equal in every way.

The last woman to hold her own opposite Depp with enough force to suggest that she absolutely did not believe she was billed below him was Anne Heche in Donnie Brasco (1997). But we all know that they're not going to cast Anne Heche. Who would you go with?

Cast This: "From Here To Eternity" Redux

By now you may have heard the news that an uncensored version of the famous novel From Here To Eternity, a "director's cut" to speak in film parlance, is being released on e-books next month? It will restore profanity and some homosexual content to the military epic; In the 1950s, you didn't ask and they certainly didn't want any telling (or cussing).

"THE BOLDEST BOOK OF OUR TIME... HONESTLY, FEARLESSLY ON THE SCREEN!"

It's maybe a bit corrupt of me to play a casting game with a remake I've never rooted for -- it's a terrific movie as is -- but "Cast This" is fun, isn't it? And in the case of a this new author's cut, why not? Movies have been remade for far stupider reasons. And I don't feel too bad at proposing a remake of 1955's Best Picture From Here To Eternity because it's already been remade once as a television miniseries in the late 70s.

The reinserted homosexual content would be mostly in reference to offscreen events but it got me to thinking about the movie and the fact that Frank Sinatra, an able actor and massively popular singer won an Oscar for the role that contains the content. (Basically it amounts to him being gay for pay, a hustler.)

Monty & Sinatra in From Here To Eternity | Sinatra's Oscar Win

Meanwhile Montgomery Clift, an actual homosexual and one of the defining actors of the 20th century, never won one. What a world. I don't know how close Monty ever came to winning in his four times at bat, but it would make sense that he had a reasonable shot with From Here to Eternity. It was a wildly popular film and won eight other Oscars. It's also one of those rare films where every principle member of the cast was nominated.

CAST THIS
So who would you place in the five main roles?

Prewitt & Lurene, bickering loversPrewitt (The Monty part) is a stubborn principled transfer from the Bugle corps who used to box but refuses to fight anymore... even when provoked violently. He takes up with a nightclub girl and keeps getting dragged into Maggio's troubles, some violent. This actor should be handsome and believable as a former fighter and be a bit of an enigma.

Lurene (the Donna Reed part) is a girl of somewhat shady reputation -- and conflicted about it -- who works at the nightclub where all the soldiers go for entertainment. She wants to be something other than what she is and return to the mainland (if I remember correctly?)

Maggio (the Sinatra part) is the undisciplined volatile Private and loyal friend to Prewitt, who has a hustling past and gets in bar fights and is later violently abused by a superior officer.

Karen (The Deborah Kerr part) is the Base Commandes's neglected and unfaithful wife. She takes up with the Sergeant under her husband and is eager for him to become ambitious so she can divorce her husband and marry him without, one presumes, losing her way of life. She has a great line I've never fully understood which I've written about before when she's flirting with the Sergeant and invites him in.

You're doing fine sergeant. My husband is off somewhere and it's raining outside and we're both drinking now. You probably only got one thing wrong: the lady herself. The lady is not what she seems. She's a washout if you know what I mean. And I'm sure you know what I mean.

Sgt Warden and his Captain's WifeI don't!

Like every other character in the story, she's pretty conflicted about her own desires and action.

Sgt. Warden (The Burt Lancaster part) is a man who's conflicted about cheating on his Commanding officer by bedding his wife. This actor should be masculine, confident someone you'd take orders from but who is complacent about being a cog in the machine. So a leader but not too much of one.

Obviously Sgt. Warden and Karen have to have sizzling chemistry for their legendary beach sex scene.

GO!