Review: "Snow White and the Huntsman"

This article was originally published in my movie column at Towleroad

"Fairy tale revisionism" has been rapidly climbing the Hollywood idea chart. In the past few years we've seen Alice in Wonderland, Rapunzel in Tangled, Red Riding Hood, and Snow White in Mirror Mirror (reviewed here).  There are several more on the way including Angelina Jolie as Maleficent terrorizing Sleeping Beauty Elle Fanning. This weekend Snow White returned to theaters for the second time in three months. Her timing is apt since the apple-munching princess is celebrating her 75th big screen anniversary (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs premiered in 1937). Why so many fairy tales? Modern Hollywood thrives on branding so the more familiar the movie before it arrives the better. And what's more familiar than fairy tales?

Tale as old as time. 
True as it can be…  ♫

Oops wrong fairy tale. Regret to inform that Snow White and the Huntsman does not have a theme song sung by Angela Lansbury but let's borrow that song anyway as framing device. Snow White and the Hunstman does have a theme song but it's a less catchy dirge-like ballad. One of the seven dwarves coughs it out at a funeral until Florence and the Machine take over on the soundtrack as the heroes rise up against evil Queen Ravenna (Charlize Theron) in montage. 

But we're getting ahead of ourselves. If you can suspend your disbelief that Kristen Stewart is "the fairest of all them all" in a beauty contest with Charlize Theron, read on...

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Linkers Assemble!

The Guardian Loki himself Tom Hiddleston wrote a piece defending the superhero movie genre which he thinks ought to be taken more seriously. Well written and impassioned but let's play devil's advocate for a moment. Isn't the money enough? Wouldn't it be nice if people could respond to dramas about the human condition without the comforting distance of genre?
Slant 15 famous movie monkeys in honor of the just released Chimpanzee
Ultra Culture makes a funny re: "exclusive image" of Katy Perry. Honestly I rarely open emails with the word "exclusive" in the header. They'll have to drop it from Websters soon since it lost its meaning somewhere at the tail end of the 20th century.

Pajiba screw context. Just appreciate the Jennifer Lawrenceness of it all
IndieWire somehow in the midst of my manic schedule, I missed the news that Eytan Fox had made a sequel to the wonderful Yossi & Jagger (2003) called simply Yossi with Ohad Knoller reprising his role as the closeted gay soldier (this time back in civilian life) 
Insanely Gaming popular websites as dresses. This is quite awesome. I vote Facebook 'best dressed'
IndieWire the controversies surrounding HBO's Girls. I liked the debut episode but it really did feel like Tiny Furniture Redux (without the fun visuals that came with the title territory) 
Low Resolution did you ever read Joe's awards for the film year? Yes, I know I still have to finish mine. Ugh.
Monkey See terrific piece on Zac Efron's transition (possibly) to full grown adult movie actor  

Finally... Odin's Boys Loki (Tom Hiddleson) & Thor (Chris Hemsworth) are having some serious giggles at one of many premieres for The Avengers. 

poll by twiigs.com

 

Or maybe they're laughing about Joss Whedon's evil robot from the future sketch for Equality Now?

Hello, I Must Be Linking

/Film Chris Hemsworth on the set of Ron Howard's Rush about race car drivers
Flavorwire Fun stories from Joss Whedon's SXSW Talk: The Avengers, Buffy, TV versus film, and more.
Ultra Culture puts 2012 releases thus far through the wonderful "Bechdel Test" in which a movie must have more than 1 female character and they must talk to each other... about something other than a man). Naturally most of them fail.

My Modern Met just incredible "Star Wars Identity" posters. I wish other films would inspire the kind of enduring creativity this franchise does from people... because given the developments of the past 30 years our global worship of this franchise is just, well, embarrassing.
THR Hello I Must Be Going, a hit at Sundance starring Melanie Lynskey (yay!), is getting a theatrical release later this year.
Wow Report ouch! (NSFW) A nasty accident for a son of a movie superstar. Guess who?
Movie|Line Tom Cruise is the latest star being talked up to play opposite Beyoncé in the A Star is Born. If it weren't a Clint Eastwood picture I'd assume this movie was never happening but since it's a Clint Eastwood picture some male star is eventually going to bite before Blue Ivy is old enough to take the role from Mama.

Oh look. It's Javier Bardem on the set of Skyfall. With blonde hair? 

Villains just can't be trusted with hair dye.

And I kept forgetting to post the Genie Award winners but Awards Daily did that duty. Here's Viggo Mortensen accepting Best Supporting Actor for A Dangerous Method. Good pick, Genie. He was great in that movie. Not that greatness is surprising these days from Viggo.

Viggo. Viggo. Viggo.

BAFTA's Narrow "Rising Star" Field

I don't even know why I'm posting this. BAFTA seems determined to be the least respectable awards group this side of "People's Choice". They apparently use a partially celebrity juru to select their 5 wide Orange Rising Star category from a field of 8. Ouch! Then the public gets to vote. NoooOOoooo THE DREAD PEOPLE'S CHOICE.

Which means it's another one of those torture devices like Oscar finalist lists for celebrities or movie hopefuls where less than half of the field have to be jettisoned to get the nominee list. "Congratulations. You were the last kid picked for the team. i.e. you weren't picked. Loser!" This year's losers are all buzzy actresses: Jennifer Lawrence, Felicity Jones, and Jessica Chastain. 

The official sausage party nominees...
I've added what they'd done lately though the award is for the person and not a specific work.

• Adam Deacon (actor/rapper/director) ...Kidulthood, Adulthood, Anuvahood
• Chris Hemsworth (actor/Avenger) ... Thor
• Tom Hiddleston (actor/god) ... Thor, War Horse, Deep Blue Sea
• Chris O'Dowd (actor/comedian) ... Bridesmaids, "the It Crowd"
• Eddie Redmayne (actor/actor) ... My Week With Marilyn, "Red"

I was about to say "who would you vote for?" but it seems like more of a do, dump or marry? type field since it's such a tiny range of types -- all British or Australian guys born between 1979 and 1983! (I don't want to talk about how lame it is to not even consider the Weekend boys for this honor in honor of people who are already a lot more famous. "Rising star" is like "Breakthrough" in how much leeway it gives you to award people whose careers are already somewhat made. What is with the Brits and Weekend? They can't see its worth and it's right in front of them!) 

But back to the RISING STARS: Who do you think gets an Oscar nomination first and second and never?

Why do you think Jessica, Felicity, and Jennifer just weren't good enough for the jury of industry types which included the likes of Simon Pegg, Sienna Miller and Harry Potter director David Yates?

Yes, No, Maybe So: "Snow White & the Huntsman"

Once upon a time there lived a blogger named Nathaniel R who feared all fairy tale reinventions after the gaudiest of poison apples that was Eyesore in Wonderland left him for dead, comatose. But then on the magical day of November the 10th, this trailer for Snow White & The Huntsmen arrived and woke him with something like true love's kiss.

Or is it another trap? Is this another gaudy brain-dead horror malevolently enchanted with a Prince Charming disguise? Dare Nathaniel dream of a happy ending?

YES

• It's never a bad idea to remind us of Madonna's "Frozen" (♥) and that raven form explosion did the trick for an opening and closing gambit.
• Though the title name checks only Snow White (Kristen Stewart) and The Huntsmen (Chris Hemsworth), the trailer promises that this is totally The Evil Queen Show. And we can live with that since Charlize Theron is delicious.
• "Beauty is my power" ...that creepy yet restrained image of the queen bathed in milk (?) rather than something more cliché like a pool of blood after her opening kill... is so "pop" (think Annie Leibovitz photoshoots) but also has a mysteriously disturbing simplicity. Is the whole movie going to be this visually smart? 
• My god this movie looks so beautiful. Let's see... [IMDb check] ZOMG, it's Greig Fraser on DP duty. No wonder. Remember what he did for Bright Star? He's our new favorite. And... oh... Colleen Atwood on costumes? Really? They look amazing but atypically less than alarmingly busy and fussed over (thank god) than what she concocts lately for Tim Burton.
• Did we mention that we love Charlize Theron?
• Did we mention that we love Charlize best when she embraces her inner outer beauty? When she does she's monstrously good.

No & Maybe So AFTER THE JUMP...

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