Yes No Maybe So, Eros: "Miss Julie" & "50 Shades of Grey"

It's a steamy class-conscious double-feature edition of Yes No Maybe So today with the recent debuts of two adult-oriented "nasty thoughts" dramas. They're both directed by women which is an unexpected plus from the complete rarity of it and oh my god I never want to type that sentence again because it's so infinitely gross that it's being typed in 2014. First we have iconic actress turned director Liv Ullman's adaptation of Strindbergh's classic Miss Julie about a cross-class dalliance between a lady (Jessica Chastain) and a servant (Colin Farrell) and then we have rising director Sam Taylor-Wood turned Sam Taylor-Johnson*'s adaptation of the not-classic best-seller 50 Shades of Grey which is also a cross-class dalliance between a fledgling reporter (Dakota Johnson, spawn of Melanie & Don) and a billionaire  (Jamie Dornan, who has already spawned thank god because those genes must not go to waste!). 

Which of these movies do you most want to have sex with right now?

Don't be shy.

Let's get to the YNMS breakdown starting with Miss Julie. There is so much more after the jump... I'm longwinded today.

Click to read more ...

Lukewarm Off Presses: Colin, Emma, Birdman and Thor

You might have thought you were done discussing these but I'm just getting around to posting about them, so don't shut your trap just yet. Here's five stories that we didn't get to in anything like a timely fashion but so what? Time is a flat circle. 

Story 1 COLIN IN TALKS
I was going to wait to post about this until it was official and not just "in talks" but since the internet moves with the speed of everything casually mentioned as fact that everyone is aware of and will be old tomorrow, it should be noted that it looks like Colin Farrell will be the leading man of True Detective Season 2 (possibly Taylor Kitsch beside him). Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey will be tough shoes to fill but as I relayed on twitter, he's a smart idea because people will be surprised when he's great because they haven't noticed that he often is. It's very Matthew McConaughey if you think about it. An actor who was always talented and then only through a unique set of career moves did people admit it and suddenly acted like he was a brand new actor. And then they overpraised but that's another topic. 

Colin has been utterly amazing a couple of times (Tigerland and In Bruges) but even in his less heralded successful or more divisive pieces where the performance arguably feels more strained (A Home at the End of the World, Alexander, Saving Mr Banks) he often feels like he's reaching for greatness. He doesn't phone it in... which is more than can be said for many actors who get paychecks that big.

Story 2 FESTIVALITIS
The Fall Film Festivals are approaching which means before too long I will be having weekly nervous breakdowns trying to keep up with all the news and discuss all the Oscar buzz. I'm waiting on my TIFF credentials now but it's exciting to hear that Venice will open with Birdman or the Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance starring Michael Keaton and Emma Stone. (I had never quite processed that it had a longer title than just "Birdman" though we've already discussed the brilliant trailer) Websites are already speculating on which films will show up at which festivals but I prefer not to try and guess. Half the excitement of festivals is all the "another present? for me!? ABUNDANCE!" elation that comes with discovering the goods. And since I can't afford to go to them all I don't want to worry about the films I'm missing at the other ones.

Story 3 A FEMALE THOR
It's probably worth mentioning that Marvel has announced that we'll have a female Thor for awhile (in the comics. Don't worry for Chris Hemsworth's career just yet) and she'll be wielding Mjölnir. Superheroes are replaced more often than the layman thinks within comics (and actors are replaced in movies too -Bruce Banner holla!) but it almost always reverts back to the original guy.

Besides messing up all of our favorite Thor/Dr Horrible jokes...

...this news bugs me for two reasons.

1. A female hero (Yay!) but she'll just be a glorified substitute (Boo!) for the real thing (a man, natch). What kind of message is that sending?
2. This is in the comics where there have been several female superheroes given their own books over time. What we need is a female superhero at the movies. That would still be revolutionary which is a pretty pathetic thing to type in 2014. Female characters have been carrying stories in virtually ever medium for as long as any of those mediums existed. And yet the studios are still assuming that female superheroes can't carry movies... don't they realize that two of our top ten grossers this year thus far are essentially female superhero movies (Divergent & Maleficent) but not by name and in entirely different genres.

soon every movie will be a bit expensive one episode season of a tv seriesStory 4 FRANCHISES WILL BE THE DEATH OF US ALL
There's some speculation happening in the superhero-crazed internet (when isn't there?) that Sony is rethinking that whole Amazing Spider-Man reboot thing now that the movies are underperforming and just as they were announcing a whole set of spinoff movies around them. Release Emma* & Andrew into the wild again, I BEG YOU!

"Underperforming" is a sad word when these movies should have bombed spectacularly. Shouldn't you at least have to wait for another generation to arrive before you yell "do over!"? All the movie studios want to essentially make movies into multiple TV series that release one big expensive 2 hour long episode each season so there are 22 superhero films on the way in the next 4 years and Universal is now going to try an interconnected Classic Monsters Universe. Um, none of those monsters except for the Invisible Man ever went away? Talk about long running franchises. I guess, in keeping with tradition, we should start complaining now that the Bride of Frankenstein is never going to get her own solo movie so it's another universe that will utterly fail the Bechdel Test.

Tell me something that will give me hope for the future in the comments!

* Story 5: EMMA & WOODY
Since Emma Stone was already name-checked twice in this post ... let's note that she is also filming her second Woody Allen movie in a row (Untitled 2015) before Magic in the Moonlight has even landed so expect media stories about Emma as Woody's new muse in  3...2...1...

Do you think she'll pull a Scarlett and make a third? Her romantic interest isn't Colin Firth this time.

Progress! The leads are only 14 years apart this time RT @ThePlaylist: Emma & Joaquin on the set of Woody Allen... pic.twitter.com/MHiTvBF7t0

— Nathaniel Rogers (@nathanielr) July 12, 2014

Thoughts I Had... While Looking at the Poster for "Miss Julie"

Presented in the order they appeared without self-censorship...

img src

Audrey Hepburn in Green Mansions (but better dressed which is weird to say about anything Audrey)

That neck purse looks very uncomfortable

Oh how cute, all three stars are Golden Globe winners.

I hate when Cate Blanchett chops Samantha Morton's head off in 'Elizabeth: Full Throttle'

That's a pretty wide stance... is she running? Doesn't the whole play take place in a kitchen? The posters already panicking "open it up. open it up"

Period frizz is the enemy: See also La Pfeiff in that age that was innocent.

 Liv Ullman is flawless in Bergman movies. I did see her last directorial gig Faithless (2000) and I liked it as an actor's showcase but not more than that.

Green is my favorite co-- no, second favorite color. Purple.

I wish this were directed by Jane Campion but then she's always the first choice with ladies in bulky dresses out in the elements

This is the French poster to your left. Which to prefer?

Redheads are so hot right now. If Ariel were alive and still had her legs she'd probably compete for Isla Fisher and Amy Adams's parts. But not for Jess's.

I saw a play with Sienna Miller once called After Miss Julie which is just basically Miss Julie for Brits instead of Swedes with some politics. So I've never understood why there's another one. But then I've never seen Miss Julie performed and am no expert on it. And this has Jessica Chastain so level up. 

I forgot to say anything about Colin Farrell.

Beauty Vs. Beast - Two Talented Misters

JA from MNPP here with this week's "Viva l'Italia!" edition of our Beauty Vs Beast series - buongiorno and welcome. First a note: I'm going to be out of town next week, so this week's poll will be open for two weeks until Monday April 7th. Where am I going to be, you ask? Well crazily enough I'm going to be in Italy, what a coincidence! (Obviously not a coincidence.)

I didn't choose this week's competition soley due to the fact that I'll be stomping the same grounds that these characters did - oh it didn't hurt, but I've also got The Talented Mr. Ripley on my mind due to the passing of the marvelous character actor James Rebhorn this weekend; he played Dickie's father, the jazz-hater who instigates the whole sordid affair. "I'd pay that fellow a hundred dollars right now to shut up."

That said The Talented Mr. Ripley is giving us exactly what this series was created for - you've got a sympathetic maniac and an unsympathetic victim to choose between, and the film does not make the picking easy. But I'm gonna make you pick anyway!

poll by twiigs.com

Again you've got two weeks, until Monday April 7th, to vote and to make your cases for which ever character you're rooting for in the comments, so have at it. Persuade me - I am actually undecided myself! This is a tough one.

PREVIOUSLY ON As for last week's competition pitting the boys of In Bruges against one another, the puppy-dog eyes plus and the guilty conscience were just too much to resist - Colin Farrell's Ray rode away with precisely 2/3rds of the vote, leaving Ralph Fiennes' Harry cursing (and cursing, and cursing, and cursing) in the dust. As Deborah put it:

"Harry was kind of playing Sexy Beast, whereas Ray was an original."

Beauty Vs Beast - The Boys of Bruges

JA from MNPP here with this week's sorta St. Paddys edition of our "Beauty Vs. Beast" series. I say "sorta" because several factors contributed to me wanting to do a face-off between who we're doing a face-off between, and the lusty leprechaun Colin Farrell making my eyes smile is probably the smallest factor on the list (though Colin being lusty is never negligible, of course).

The main factors were that five of the six pairings so far have been lady vs lady and, though I know we all love our ladies up in here it felt right to swing back to the different-chromosomed side of the fence this round; two, we were just ogling writer-director Martin McDonagh last week at our site; and three, I watched Wes Anderson's The Grand Budapest Hotel this weekend, as I'm sure many of you did as well, and every time Ralph Fiennes lost his cool therein I couldn't help but think upon Harry.

It's an In Bruges-off, people.

poll by twiigs.com

Sometime before or after you vote and before or after you hit the comments to tell us why you voted the way you voted I would like you to take a moment to appreciate the fact that I made that list of Pros and Cons without using a swear-word once. It was a f**king task and a f**king half, people. Whoops.

PREVIOUSLY ON Last week's poll has closed, SlayerFest 2014 has come to an end, and which Chosen One is left standing victorious? Oh it's Buffy, Buffy Buffy Buffy, always Buffy. Every vampire in Sunnydale and beyond seemed to fall in love with the quippy Summers girl and we proved no different. S'cool, Faith doesn't need you people anyway. Said JS:

"I voted Buffy but most likely I was simply voting for Sarah Michelle Gellar, who gave an acting masterclass for seven years on that show. Faith is definitely the more interesting character, but Faith's best episode was performed by SMG."