Kieran, here. The Cannes film festival is a peculiar animal. Its relation to the Oscar race (it's April, so I'm allowed to mention it again) is nebulous. While the festival raerly fails to deliver at least a few titles that will net multiple nominations, it's hardly the launching pad into awards season in a way similar to Toronto or (in more recent years) Telluride. And truthfully, that's one of the things that makes it so compelling to follow. Regardless of whatever criticisms one can levy against Cannes, it's hard to deny that it clearly has its own rich history and identity with different motives on its mind compared to many high profile festivals.
The lineup for the festival is replete with interesting cinematic offerings. There are certain directors who can always garner a slot on the roster (*uses quiet voice* regardles of the quality of the actual film). Even still, it's such a thrill every year when they announce the list, quibble as we may at the inclusion of the usual suspects. Below is the official lineup for the 69th Annual Cannes Film Festival in full.
Opening Night Film
 Cafe Society – directed by Woody Allen
Jesse Eisenberg and Kristen Stewart in Woody Allen's latest
Doesn't it seem strange that it took this long for Woody Allen to put Kristen Stewart in one of his films? Woody Allen is definitely on the list of aforementioned directors who can always land a spot on the Cannes roster. Whether it's a rapturously received Midnight in Paris or a more tepid You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger level offering. Which will this be?
Competition 
Toni Erdmann – directed by Maren Ade
 Julieta – directed by Pedro Almodóvar
 American Honey– directed by Andrea Arnold
 The Unknown Girl– directed by Jean-Pierre and Luc Dardenne
 Personal Shopper – directed by Olivier Assayas
 It’s Only The End Of The World – directed by Xavier Dolan
 Ma Loute – directed by Bruno Dumont
 Paterson – directed by Jim Jarmusch
 Rester Vertical– directed by Alain Guiraudie
 Aquarius– directed by Kleber Mendonca Filho
 Mal de Pierres – directed by Nicole Garcia
 I, Daniel Blake– directed by Ken Loach
 Ma’Rosa – directed by Brillante Mendoza
 Loving – directed by Jeff Nichols
 Bacalaureat – directed by Cristian Mungiu
 Agassi– directed by Park Chan-Wook
 The Last Face – directed by Sean Penn
 Sieranevada – directed by Cristi Puiu
 Elle – directed by Paul Verhoeven
 The Neon Demon – directed by Nicolas Winding Refn
Elle Fanning in Nicolas Winding Refn's THE NEON DEMON
The announcement of the lineup has dovetailed nicely with the release of the trailer for Nicolas Winding Refn's The Neon Demon, which has the internet buzzing. Have you watched yet? Seeing the haunting, enigmatic stills of Elle Fanning I opted not to and hopefully go into the film cold when it reaches stateside. Seriously, though...how absolutely amazing does this lineup of in-competition features look? Bacalaureat directed by Cristian Mungiu (Beyond the Hills and the fantastic 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days) is the title that most has me wishing I could attend the festival. There's no guarantee it'll reach the United States in a timely manner. 
Un Certain Regard
Varoonegi – directed by Behnam Behzadi
 Apprentice– directed by Boo Junfeng
 Voir Du Pays – directed by Delphine Coulin and Muriel Coulin
 La Danseuse– directed by Stephanie Di Giusto
 Clash– directed by Mohamed Diab
 La Tortue Rouge - directed by Michael Dudok de Wit
 Fuchi Bi Tatsu – directed by Fukada Koji
 Omar Shakhsiya – directed by Maha Haj
 Me’Ever Laharim Vehagvaot – directed by Eran Kolirin
 After The Storm– directed by Kore-Eda Hirokazu
 Hymyileva Mies– directed by Juho Kuosmanen
 La Large Noche de Francisco Sanctis– directed by Francisco Marquez and Andrea Testa
 Caini – directed by Bogdan Mirica
 Pericle Il Nero – directed by Stefano Mordini
 The Transfiguration– directed by Michael O’Shea
 Captain Fantastic – directed by Matt Ross
 Uchenik – directed by Kirill Serebrennikov
Viggo Mortensen in Matt Ross' CAPTAIN FANTASTIC
Captain Fantastic, the second feature by actor turned director Matt Ross (American Psycho, TV's "Big Love" where he was excellent as a gay serpentine polygamist cult zealot) already played Sundance to good notices. Will it also impress the Cannes audience?
Midnight Screenings
Gimme Danger – directed by Jim Jarmusch
The Train to Busan – directed by Yeon Sang-Ho
A Chad Tragedy – directed by Mahamat-Saleh Aroun
The Death of Louis XIV – directed by Albert Serra
L’Ultima Spiaggia – directed by Thanos Anastopolous and Davide Del Degan
Outside Competition
The BFG – directed by Steven Spielberg
 Money Monster – directed by Jodie Foster
 The Nice Guys – directed by Shane Black
 Gok Sung – directed by Na Hong-Jin
Jodie Foster directs George Clooney in MONEY MONSTERThe premiere and subsequent reception of Jodie Foster's Money Monster (which will be released in the US the following day) will be interesting to watch for several reasons. Foster, while obviously accomplished as an actor, has never really broken through with unanimous critical acclaim for any of her outings as a director (though Home For the Holidays is excellent). This is also the first film produced by George Clooney with a female director. He has previously only produced white-male-directed films--an odd bit of trivia given his reputation as a bastion of forward-thinking politics in Hollywood. He was one of the louder critics of the Academy's lack of diversity this past season, so perhaps we're seeing Clooney going beyond rhetoric (which does have value when you're a star of his reach and influence) and putting his money where his mouth is. 
What are you most excited to see?