Beauty Vs Beast - SlayerFest 2014

JA from MNPP here with this week's new edition of Beauty Vs. Beast! As I noted over at my site last week, today is the 17th anniversary of the first ever episode of Joss Whedon's televisual masterpiece Buffy the Vampire Slayer - "Welcome to the Hellmouth" aired on the WB on March 10th 1997, and some of us have been whooping it up inside that Hellmouth ever since.

If you're a fan you know what happened on Buffy's 17th birthday - let's just hope we can all make it through today without anybody's ancient Gypsy curse being activated by sexual relations. That Angelus, he was a nasty one... but Glorificus did her damage too, The Master and the Mayor - an endless list of memorable villains.

But it's Buffy's dark mirror that's always revved our engines the hardest... 

Welcome to SlayerFest '14!!!

poll by twiigs.com

Only one can make it out alive! The too good blonde, the too bad brunette - make your pick and then we'll all skip class and stake some vamps and dance crazy at The Bronze til the sun comes up and dusts our boyfriends.

"previously on..."
Before y'all hit the comments and give us your reasonings though, a look back at last week's (literal) face-off - we were talking the spray-painted ladies of Death Becomes Her, and sure enough, confounding nobody's expectations - MERYL WON. Team Madeline blew a shotgun hole through Goldie's Helen with about 2/3rds of the vote. (As if we needed to puff up Meryl's chest anymore!) As Rob put it in the comments:

"Hel does have a special place in my heart for eating frosting out of its container with her fingers while rewinding the footage of Madeline dying on film but over and over again. But, in the end, gotta go with Madeline, because FLAWLESS."

Beauty Vs Beast: Death Becomes Them

JA from MNPP here, starting off a new week with a brand new round of Beauty Vs Beast! I hope everybody enjoyed the Oscars last night - there were highs (Lupita!) and there were lows (another year of ill-incorporated montages) but there is one thing we can all agree upon: seeing Goldie Hawn and Meryl Streep in the same room like that made us all wish we were watching Death Becomes Her instead.

I was really hoping they'd present together, or maybe Meryl would just randomly scream out "NOW, A WARNING?" while Goldie was on-stage, or maybe Jennifer Lawrence would tumble down the theater's stairs and break into pieces in an elaborate tribute to the nearly twenty-two year old film? ...Something. Anything! Isabella Rossellini could've been carried out onto stage by some muscle men, perhaps? Alas it wasn't to be, save my imagination.

Thankfully I can trot out my imagination here, then. I give you this week's competition...

poll by twiigs.com

As always go ahead and make your cases for and against Robert Zemeckis' forever-living nut-cases in the comments, and in one week's time we'll down the potion and crown our new eternal queen.

And speaking of, crowns and queens and golden things with icy-cold skin, we've got to name our winner from last week's Frozen poll! It was pretty much a blow-out - Princess Elsa had too much diva-draw and strut herself to an easy win against her less flashy sister. As Anne-Marie said in the comments:

My vote is entirely colored by how badly I felt for Anna when I went to Disneyland in January. Literally every Elsa doll in the park was gone, so there were just all of these abandoned Anna dolls all through the park and it just made me so sad for this fictional character. Always living in her sister's diva shadow."

And so she shall remain. Team Elsa for the win!

Drag Race "The Sixening": Half a Premiere

Each year I think about covering RuPaul's Drag Race, so I'm finally doing it. Like Mad Men (and I bet this is the only time you'll hear them compared!) it's awash in fun movie references. Highlights from the past have included Raja's bucket of blood Carrie dress to Raven's "I'm giving Michelle Pfeiffer bitch" to Jinkx Monsoon's Grey Gardens fetish to Tammie Brown's demented Old Hollywood persona to numerous truly terrible movie star impersonations (I've never seen a worse Marilyn or Joan Crawford, for example, than this show has provided) and so on. I know. I know. It's the sixth season, "the sixening". The library is open if you'd like to read me because these books are overdue!

Four movie references to start us off... 

During the mini-challenge, a photoshoot where the queens lept across boob-tube color bars to a pile of foam below sees rubber limbed LaGanja Estranja compared to Goldie Hawn in Overboard. "I get that a lot," she said awkwardly pulling herself out of the foam. Laganga is obviously not in Goldie's comic league but, to be fair, Goldie Hawn did look like a drag queen in Overboard... 

Click to read more ...

The Ultimate "You Can't Sit With Us"

Jose here. True story, in ealy 1998 I was obsessed with the two women to the right. Julia was the star of the first non-animated movie I owned on VHS (My Best Friend's Wedding) and Gwynnie was my straight-crush du jour having stolen my heart in Great Expectations. That year I deemed them both as my favorite actresses (I was 12) and had forgotten all about how giddy they made me until I saw them together in this picture (taken at some gala celebrating Sean Penn). Of course, I started fantasizing/thinking about all of my favorite random celebrity couplings pictures (this one of Madonna making Pé drink champagne is a very close second), not to mention thinking about how Goldie would fare as Violet in August... but before I go down an endless pit of actressing, let us know:

What are some of your favorite random celebrity pictures? Which celebrities you'd like to see hanging out together?

Happy Birthday, Goldie!

She definitely doesn't look it, but Goldie Hawn is turning 68 today! She has many roles worth celebrating - The First Wives Club, Death Becomes Her, Private Benjamin, this jazzy Beatles cover - but today I'd like to shine a light on that zany show where she first got her start, the short-lived but always incredible Laugh In.

Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In Clip #6 Goldie... by RetroCafe

Like Judy Holliday before her, Goldie Hawn turned Blonde Ditz into an artform. Happy Birthday, Goldie, no matter what time zone you're in!